me and friend like d same gal.

LegacyUser · 03-04-2005 12:56PM #1

a shy friend of mine, really likes this girl. he's so shy that he wont even talk to her. i like the same girl, and i feel she likes me, but if my friend knew it would kill him. i dont know what to do. any advice.

WhiteWashMan · 03-04-2005 02:28PM

tell him you like her, and gie him the reasons why you think she likes you.
and then ask him if its ok with him if you ask her out, but that if he wants a go, then you wont stand in his way.

just be open and honest. otherwise, he may not take too kindly to it, eventhough, at the end of the day it s not his business, he will still be píssed at you probably

GuanYin · 03-04-2005 02:33PM

WhiteWashMan wrote:

tell him you like her, and gie him the reasons why you think she likes you.
and then ask him if its ok with him if you ask her out, but that if he wants a go, then you wont stand in his way.

just be open and honest. otherwise, he may not take too kindly to it, eventhough, at the end of the day it s not his business, he will still be píssed at you probably

Surely its none of the friends business what the girl andthe OP getup to?

I mean you said as much on another thread.

Rev Hellfire · 03-04-2005 02:35PM

I'd say go for it and sod your mate.
In the end of the day if your mate hasnt done anything about it yet, well hard luck, maybe he'll move quicker next time.

Phil_321 · 03-04-2005 02:46PM

WhiteWashMan wrote:

tell him you like her, and gie him the reasons why you think she likes you.
and then ask him if its ok with him if you ask her out, but that if he wants a go, then you wont stand in his way.

just be open and honest. otherwise, he may not take too kindly to it, eventhough, at the end of the day it s not his business, he will still be píssed at you probably

Why are you telling him to consult with and ask the permission of his friend first?
That doesn't square up with what you said on another thread about a guy's friend getting off with his ex.

ferdi · 03-04-2005 03:03PM

duke it out star trek style "den den den denden den den den!"

simu · 03-04-2005 03:13PM

jj9999 wrote:

a shy friend of mine, really likes this girl. he's so shy that he wont even talk to her. i like the same girl, and i feel she likes me, but if my friend knew it would kill him. i dont know what to do. any advice.

Depends how much you like her. If she's really blown your mind, go for it and tell your friend to avoid accusations of "stealing" later on but if she's just another on a list of many girls you've dated and could replace easily as an object of your affection, you could consider helping your friend get together with her.

Shrimp · 03-04-2005 03:21PM

If i were you, make a game out of it, wo ever gets her wins

Boston · 03-04-2005 03:25PM

Potential girlfriends, is very different from Ex girlfriend. I'd say follow WWM advice, you don't have to play it that way, but a friend would. Make sure he understands that if he doesn't make a move you will. Under normal circumstances it would probably be a case of to the victor goes the spoils but you did say he was shy and this could be the kick in the arse he needs.

WhiteWashMan · 03-04-2005 03:48PM

WhiteWashMan wrote:

at the end of the day it s not his business, he will still be píssed at you probably

psi wrote:

Surely its none of the friends business what the girl andthe OP getup to?

I mean you said as much on another thread.

which bit didnt you read?

Phil_321 wrote:

Why are you telling him to consult with and ask the permission of his friend first?
That doesn't square up with what you said on another thread about a guy's friend getting off with his ex.

i never said he should ask permission, i said he should tell his friend he likes her.
i said he should make sure his friend is ok with it, but thats not anything to do with permission.
in the other thread, it was after the deed, and as i said on this thread, really, ist not anyones business but the OPs.

i mean seriously guys, good attempt at trolling me, but can you stick to the topic please?

The_B_Man · 03-04-2005 05:17PM

to be honest, if either one of u get with her, it'll cause some tension & awkwardness between u and ur mate. best way is for neither of u to go after her, that way you wont be letting a girl come between you 2. if it does turn sour, you'll look back and wish you took my advice. its not worth it.

tinkerbell · 03-04-2005 07:16PM

If you really like her, she likes you, she definitely does not like your friend, then you should go for it. Although, how much do you like her, and how much does your friend like her?

If you are really into this girl and there's no chance of her liking your friend, then you shouldn't waste the opportunity. That said, if your friend is left devastated, you should really consider his feelings. Is it worth losing a friend over some girl?

That said, I don't know, only you can know what is right to do.

arbeitsscheuer · 03-04-2005 07:26PM

The_B_Man wrote:

to be honest, if either one of u get with her, it'll cause some tension & awkwardness between u and ur mate. best way is for neither of u to go after her, that way you wont be letting a girl come between you 2. if it does turn sour, you'll look back and wish you took my advice. its not worth it.

Spot on. Have seen this happen in my group of mates, and even tho they always tried to be adult about it, and not let it get in the way of their friendships, there was tension between them for a long time after that.

In fact, I went thru this recently (and would've stayed away from the bird but for the fact that I forgot my mate had told me he liked her... f**king memory lets me down again) Anyway, altho I'm sure our friendship will be grand in a while, their is a bit of sourness on his part, and tbh I can't really say I blame him.

Oh, and she wasn't worth it...

Superman · 04-04-2005 12:06AM

Talk about it with your friend and be open about it, if he's goin to be all thick about grand, but make sure that at all times he knows your intentions and that you like the girl. That way your not the bad guy and he will only have himself to blame for not speaking up and being open too.Also won't feel in any way guilty about it even if he is slightly devasted!
My view in these kind of situations, is put your mate first cause next to family there probably the most important thing you got on this world.

Otacon · 04-04-2005 11:28AM

Well I say watch spiderman... problem solved!

BobTheBeat · 04-04-2005 12:56PM

Im gonna say take this one for the team and let your mate off. You should encourage him to go for it and talk to her. If he fails to do so, then grab your chance. But give him the opportunity first.

BolBill · 05-04-2005 10:30AM

Four ball her?

Souperfreak · 05-04-2005 12:19PM

If you go for the girl you have to be prepared to lose the friend.

If you let the friend go for her or continue to pine for her you have to risk never being with her.

LoneGunM@n · 05-04-2005 12:41PM

Boston wrote:

Potential girlfriends, is very different from Ex girlfriend. I'd say follow WWM advice, you don't have to play it that way, but a friend would. Make sure he understands that if he doesn't make a move you will. Under normal circumstances it would probably be a case of to the victor goes the spoils but you did say he was shy and this could be the kick in the arse he needs.

A bit of great advice there!!

In my younger days I was the shy one ... my friend got with a girl he knew I liked ... At the time I was a bit resentful [but never fell out of friendship], but in hindsight I was being stupid!!

kasintahan · 05-04-2005 02:53PM

Tell you mate. He'll understand. The go for her.

PS. Being the shy one sucks.

Victor · 05-04-2005 07:00PM

The_B_Man wrote:

to be honest, if either one of u get with her, it'll cause some tension & awkwardness between u and ur mate. best way is for neither of u to go after her, that way you wont be letting a girl come between you 2. if it does turn sour, you'll look back and wish you took my advice. its not worth it.

The_B_Man, keeping Irish bachelors single since 1863.

tinkerbell · 05-04-2005 08:25PM

Okay, say this girl REALLY likes the OP, and the OP obviously likes the girl. Say the girl could make the OP really happy, and vice versa? But then the OP says no, my friend likes you so I can't do anything about it. Girl is sad because she can't get her guy, OP is sad coz he's rejected her, and if the girl doesn't like the friend, then she ain't gonna wanna know. So now all three people are sad!

Two people could be happy here. What's the point in not going for it if there is never any hope at all of the girl getting with his friend? The fact is that there is no history between either of them and the girl. Unless the friend has had a major crush on this girl for like 50 million years, then he'll get over it. It could be sour for a little while though.

me and friend like d same gal.

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