any advice for someone whos just broken up

LegacyUser

Just broke up this evening I think with the girl I've been seeing for over three years. I think we were both kind of expecting it but still not the best way to spend a Saturday.

Any advice on what I should do for the next few weeks as I feel a lot like binge drinking, having a few one night stands, dropping out of my part time college course etc, stuff I know doesn't make much sense and wouldn't be all that good for me really.

Duckjob

Bummer. Sorry to hear that

Not much you can do except grit your teeth and ride it out. Definitely don't quit college, If anything I'd throw yourself into your college work to keep busy. I found work to be a salvation when I was in the same situation a few years back.

CathyMoran

Sorry to hear that you have broken up with your gf.

There is not a lot of point in binge drinking - I drank a few pints a night for a week when I broke up with a bf a few years ago but it only delayed the pain, it did not stop it. ONS - nah, some time to be yourself might be a better idea. Do NOT quit college - throw yourself into it - it can be a refuge. Focus on you and find out who you are again - after a long relationship people can become merged - you need to be you again, you have probably grown up a lot through the relationship.

In terms of a longer term future - you never know when you may meet someone new - but do not rush into it yet, breaking up from a rebound is still crazy.

Best wishes - you will be fine with time - just concentrate on you, your college, your work, your friends, your family.

WhiteWashMan

get some dvd's, buy a brand new very long game that you can throw yourself into, go to the gym and just keep yoruself busy and away from free thought for about 2 weeks.
then start looking at your life.
in the middle, go out and contact all those friends that you havent talked to in ages because youve been in a relationship, go out and get drunk, and then try and get laid.

Unpossible

I find friends & sports are a great way to keep my mind off a break up (I cant concentrate on college stuff when it happens).

Its going to take time, a few weeks of pain. good luck

nanook

its over now

firstly sorry tio hear about the break up, everyones been through it so you are going to get to get alot of advice on here.
Some will tell you to go on the lash and make up for lost time with all the one night stands you can get, others will tell you to hold back and wait.

My own experience was to keep busy, worked three jobs and got through it and had a healthy bank balance at the end of it.


My hounest opinion would be to sit back and take some time for you, chill go out and enjoy yourself, dont jump into anything straight away. But if you can get in touch with your ex and see how she is doing (if thats possible, you didnt say if you were both talking), she maybe a good help in this.

Look after yourself though and let us know how its getting on.

tinkerbell

As others already said, don't drop out of your college course. It'll do you more harm than good. If you drop out, you'll have loads of spare time to dwell on your unhappiness. So you need to throw yourself back into your work in an effort to keep your mind off things.

I wouldn't advise binge-drinking either. You'll get drunk and either (a) forget about your sorrow or (b) be even more unhappy. Then the next morning, you'll have a massive hangover, and will feel even more miserable. So even if option (a) happens, you're still gonna feel miserable the next day. So steer clear from that.

Going through a phase of self destruction will not help (dropping out of college, etc.) - but your friends can help. Get them all to rally around ya to support you, keep you busy, bring you places, etc. You always know your true friends in times like these.

My advice to you is keep yourself busy, surround yourself by friends, and most importantly - give yourself time to get over your ex girlfriend. You can't rush the process, so be patient.

I am MAN

As everyone else has said just keep yourself busy.
Do anything you can to avoid yourself thinking if shes with someone else or what shes up to type of thing.

whiskeyman

sorry to hear that man.
Like the above say, keep yourself busy.
Friends and family will be good support to you.
Perhaps arrange to take a holiday somewhere with some close friends.
Keep enjoying life as best you can and dont dwell over the past. Remember the good times(if you wish), but look forward to the better times too

Crash

Been there - done that. broke up with the girl i was with for 2 1/2 years (or she broke up with me) there four weeks ago - only advice i can really give is find something to do when you find its getting too much - i didnt, but whenever i did it kinda worked.

PullMyFinger!

Keep very very busy. Im still in bits at times over the ex but when I put my mind into my work it goes slightly. As WWM said a game might be the answer as well if you're into that, Ive got back into some PS2 gaming just to to keep slightly sane. I hope it gets easier. I dont think Ive ever gone through anything this tough in my life (and there's been a few hard times) but the way I see it if we come through times like this we really can do anything

Sleepy

One night stands are a good thing when rebounding, they help rebuild your sense of self-esteem.

Binge drinking, depends on whether you're a morose drinker or not. If you're Mr. Life of the Party when drinking you can't do any (serious) harm by going out a bit more than you were before.

Keeping busy is good advice. And remember the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else