The Ticket's "Sail-Proof Lady" review

ixoy

Anyone else read the review of "Sail-Proof Lady" in today's Ticket? Michael Dwyer liked this movie so much he awarded it 6 stars. The review's quite amusing, especially his lauding of the talents of its stars that include Jackie and Sly Stallone.

It's an April Fool's joke, of course. The review is so up its on arse, it's clearly a piss-take. It's a mish-mash of a few other movies. I'm pretty sure the accompanying pic is from Lars Von Trier's "Idioterne", a fact supported by Von Trier being mentioned in the article. The fact the film is compared to Trier's work and gets 6 stars is the ultimate proof it's a joke - any regular reader will know Michael Dwyer hates the guy...

herobear

yeah very funny

i didnt get it until i saw the 6 stars, althouggh i was mighty suspicious,especially of the picture from 'the idiots' and the fact that i'd never heard of it. lucky them that april 1st was on a friday this year

were there any other similiar reviews/articles in the ticket/irish times in general ?

RuggieBear

my girlfriend fell for it.....oh how i laughed at her . I clicked it as soon as i said it was suppossed to have jackie stallone in it along with the idiots picture. Love the bit about "marxist humour" too:p

DapperGent

I chuckled heartily.

After I twigged it.

Which took most of the review.

simu

Damn! I read it today so I didn't think of April Fools. I did remember thinking J. Law's arse wouldn't look quite as droopy, though!

ixoy

I feel particularly stupid now. Sail Proof Lady is an anagram of April Fool's Day....

solo1

Who blocked out the spoilers?

Bri

Are you taking the piss?

Crapjob Sean

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/theticket/2011/0401/1224293477317.html

The White Ribbon 3D
Directed by Michael Haneke. Starring Michael Fassbender, Val Kilmer, Katherine Heigl, Kirsten Dunst, Dennis Franz, Christian Szell, Heinrich Strasser 16 cert, lim release, 142 min

The Austrian maestro has once again transposed one of his Euro dramas to the US, writes DONALD CLARKE

JUST A FEW short years ago a project such as this would have seemed inconceivable. Michael Haneke, the austere Austrian director of Hidden and Funny Games , has reshot The White Ribbon , his untouchable 2009 historical melodrama, in English with largely mainstream (though disproportionately Germanic) movie stars. It’s also in 3D. Der mann ist geisteskrank, ja? Not necessarily.

In recent months, two other highbrow German-speaking directors have unveiled serious projects utilising the 3D process. Wim Wenders has given the world Pina , a dance documentary, and Werner Herzog delivered Cave of Forgotten Dreams , a study of ancient cave paintings. Remember also, that, just three years ago, Haneke remade Funny Games in English. If anything, the concept seems too obvious.

Fear not. Haneke has retooled the project with enormous ingenuity – redirecting attention from the film’s id to its super-ego – and created a masterpiece whose tenacious psycho-sorcery exceeds even that of the distinguished original.

Relocated to 1970s Cleveland, the new film, again a study of children reacting against parental totalitarianism, necessarily jettisons the source material’s connections to the Nazi regime, but its implied criticism of coming American Christo-Fascism is at least as devastating.

The biggest (and most welcome) surprise is that Haneke, not normally at home to populism, has engaged with the 3D tradition and concluded that the process is at its best when enhancing the flight of hurtling objects.

Not since punters ducked at the oncoming train in L’Arrivée d’un train en gare de La Ciotat have a film’s action sequences intruded so conspicuously into the auditorium. Timber from the burning barn crashes towards the huddling post-Marxist camera. That tumbling horse appears to clatter onto the cinema’s second row. At times, the picture is closer to My Bloody Valentine 3D than to the experiments of Herzog or Wenders.

Yet the proto-earthly intensity of the sub-Monostrovian narrative remains visibly, uncomfortably stratified. Val Kilmer’s deranged turn as the austere Baptist preacher, whose unterdrückung of his own children precipitates violent juvenile anti-conformity, illustrates how easily, after passing through several vicious cycles, deep belief can mutate into militant pop nihilism.

Playing the unfairly dismissed nanny, Katherine Heigl finds her blonde blankness being used as Aryan Metanoia. Michael Fassbender, essaying the morally upright teacher, has, despite his midwest accent, never seemed more pathologically German.

The end result is both a populist entertainment and a cinematic biopsy of troubling neuro-social neoplasms. How do we express our enthusiasm for a film that improves on a piece to which we awarded five stars?

For the first time since 2005 – when Michael Dwyer, this paper’s late film correspondent, awarded six stars to Sail Proof Lady – we unveil the full glittering constellation.

take everything

Saw that as well.

naasrd

Looks like this weeks Phoenix Magazine took Clarke's piece seriously and quoted from it.