Councelling/therapy advice

Gracie_05

I was going to post about being in limbo about whether to continue in a relationship that seems to be stuck in a rut, but having thought better of it, I realize that the real problem for me is with me and the person that I have gradually become, and my outlook and the way that I deal with life.

I cannot be the perfect partner to my long-term bf until I am comfortable with who I am.
And until I have resolved certain lifestyle issues and self-defeating thoughts, haunting memories etc., I think I will continue to be plagued by circular thinking and self-defeating behaviour. I'm sometimes a bit too "intelligent" for my own good - maybe think/rationalize/make excuses perhaps a bit too much.
Used to be a much stronger person when I was younger, would never knowingly do anything that might jeopardize my health and well-being and had some sort of "identity"/sense of self.
Now at 31, on a certain level I don't really give a sh*t about myself, but at the same time I WANT/NEED to change. If I don't take some steps, I know/feel that I will (sooner rather than later) end up having some sort of crisis/breakdown. I feel like a balloon that is about to burst sometime soon(mentally or physically).

People, I really need to talk to someone, a good therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist/whatever. I've never had counselling before, even though I was offered it once for a particular "ailment", but I declined. Have always been sceptical about councellers, reckoned I'd "outsmart" them. But recently I've been thinking that what I really really need is to just get stuff off my chest and someone who will really listen, and some feedback in "real time", as opposed to just reading a self-help book for example.
Would be grateful for any advice as to how to go about finding the right person to talk to. Do you have to go through a GP? What does it cost? I'd be willing to pay a bit more than I can afford, if the person was particularly good.
Can someone PM me if they have someone that they could recommend?
Thanks.
Really, Thanks.

mad m

There are places that charge you on what you can afford etc.There is a place i think down near St Treases gardens in Donore.Its a house which has plenty of counselors to help you with whatever.

My advice is dont put it off another day,get out the yellow pages or do some googling on it.Get the closest place to suit you.The place i was talking about i cant remember name off hand,but ill try and get it for you but im sure someone will post a name here.Dont be afraid they wont bite and they are there to help you and when in a session you can leave whenever you want/or when you hour is up...

On finding the right counselor it all depends on how you interact with the counselor you have.I think in most places if you're not comfortable with a certain counselor after a session or so they ask do you want to continue with he/she.And they set you up with someone else until you feel at ease talking and discussing with your chosen counselor.

Goodluck

WhiteWashMan

you can try your GP, or you can try through a hospital if youd like to keep your enquiries more low key.

i fully undertand where you are coming from.
you actually sound as if councelling will benefit, you appear to want to change certain things, and even have ideas as to what you need to change. thats pretty good going.

however, there is no 'outsmarting' a councellor. all they do is listen. they do not provide 'feedback' or advice or tell you anything. they are not there to judge, or to agree with you. they simply listen, and ask you questions that they feel will help you, to help yourself. afterall, what good is solution, if you dont understand what it is, or where it came from, and how it relates to you?

you will only benefit from councelling if you want to benefit. if you want to learn about yourself, then it will be helpful. i hope you learn what you need to.

billy the squid

if there is stuff that you need to get out of your system you should give the samaritans a ring. they dont just deal withsuiside cases you know. they are there to help with problems that a person cannot figure out a way out of. or they can just sit there and listen to you while you offload the stresses in your life.

their number is 1850 60 90 90

from my own personal experience you wouldnt believe the amount of relief you can get from sharing your problems with someone else.

combs

Actually, counsellors can disagree with you, try to offer advice etc. Counselling is not psychotherapy. Counselling is a thing for which you do not need to be extremely qualified, so the quality of counsellors varies. You might not proceed with the first you visit.

LegacyUser

I hope you find a good person to talk to
I feel very similar to you and have been thinking seriously about going to talk to somebody too and possibly talking to someone whith my partner there as much of what is going on affects him too.

anyway I'd be interested in hearing if you find anywhere / anyone good to talk to