any ideas?

marshmallow

okay.....
situation is- my dad has been sick for the past four months. at first it was hard to deal with but as things progressed it got easier. though now i just use it as an excuse to not do homework/not study. my mum is getting very fed up with me and now being off school and having time to think, i'm not surprised. what i'm trying to get at is how do i regain and retain the positive attitude i had before?

CathyMoran

My mum has been very seriously ill for over 6 months now - I am working and also doing a Masters but I took a lot of time off at first. I think that when your parent is ill there is first a sense of numbness - this gets you through the initial days/weeks then there is realisation (which is horrible) and then a certain sense of resignation to what has happened/is happening. You have to see from youre parents illness how precious life is and get off your feet - life is too short. I hope that I have put things accross well enough but I do empathise with how you are feeling. This is how I have found things in any case. Please feel free to PM me.

*adele*

Aw god is it serious or will he be ok?Just try and get back into the routine of work in school and try and balance it with your family

MaddyDv

marshmallow wrote:

okay.....
though now i just use it as an excuse to not do homework/not study.

I dont know how you can use your dads illness as an excuse, thats terrible. You said its easier but now its good as an excuse. I think that is one of the most awful things to do, using someone misfortune for personal gain

WhiteWashMan

marshmallow wrote:

okay.....
situation is- my dad has been sick for the past four months. at first it was hard to deal with but as things progressed it got easier. though now i just use it as an excuse to not do homework/not study. my mum is getting very fed up with me and now being off school and having time to think, i'm not surprised. what i'm trying to get at is how do i regain and retain the positive attitude i had before?

talk to both your parents seperately, and tell them how hards it has been, and then tell them you wnt to move on, get back to being motivated. no one is going to holdyou back, and talking will get things off your chest.
im sure both of them would want you to be happier (as happy as you can be in the situation)

marshmallow

MaddyDv wrote:

I dont know how you can use your dads illness as an excuse, thats terrible. You said its easier but now its good as an excuse. I think that is one of the most awful things to do, using someone misfortune for personal gain

its not a gain. i have the work done for my classes. i'm trying to get back to being motivated. if i'm at home there's always something to be done, you're kept going. i'm just in a 'i dont care' attitude coz ive had a lot of misfortunes. im trying to 'move on' and get back into routine. how?

CathyMoran

Is there anywhere else that you can study - if home is a distraction? It is very difficult to get yourself out of a rut - maybe you should talk to your parents as WWM said - they want the best for you and I am sure that they will do what they can to help you. If I am ever in a rut I set myself a goal with a treat at the end of it...maybe that might work? Best wishes.

Scraggs

marshmallow wrote:

okay.....
situation is- my dad has been sick for the past four months. at first it was hard to deal with but as things progressed it got easier. though now i just use it as an excuse to not do homework/not study. my mum is getting very fed up with me and now being off school and having time to think, i'm not surprised. what i'm trying to get at is how do i regain and retain the positive attitude i had before?

i kno exactly how you feel i have someone terminally ill with cancer living at home for the last couple of months and i have just lost all motivation.
[i'm doin the Leavin in june] i do all ..well most of.. my class work but i just cant study -i barely passed my mocks . X's illness should make me realise how short life is and how i've got to do everythin i can to make it a good one [ie getting good education] but it seems to have the opposite affect on me. i feel now whats the point. mother is gettin on at me coz she says that when X is gone i'll just have wasted all my studyin time and X would have hated that she had stopped me [not phrased right but i hope ya get what i'm sayin]
Sorry i kind of hijacked your thread i just needed to get it out i cant really vent at home.. I sincerely hope everything works out for you and hope your dad becomes well again
i'd also be interested to hear what others have to say
thanks

marshmallow

no problem scraggs, let it out. my brother is doing his leaving in june aswell and he's finding it tough. he has been studying at his friends house for the past few days just to get out of the house. best of luck with the leaving and hope X gets better

marshmallow

i'm glad to say that my dad should be home in a few weeks and my routine is more or less back to normal!

CathyMoran

Really delighted to hear that

JoeKelly

in my opinion when a member of the family is ill things tend to be put on hold all that matters at that moment is there health and you try your utmost to help them in any way! Dont feel bad about losing motivation shows that you have your priorities in the right place! You'll slow get back into the swing of things when things get back to normal! Good luck!

marshmallow

JoeKelly wrote:

Dont feel bad about losing motivation shows that you have your priorities in the right place! Good luck!

thank you, you are the first person to make me look at it like that. i admitted my wrong doing and was asking for help, everyone got on my case for my wrong doing and not giving help. thank you

TOPDAWG

marshmallow wrote:

thank you, you are the first person to make me look at it like that. i admitted my wrong doing and was asking for help, everyone got on my case for my wrong doing and not giving help. thank you

I had the same thing once with my dad. Dont wanna get into all the details of it but i was in college at the time and flyin thro course work. It happened just before xmas and i completly checked out for rest of the year and failed it in the end. As someone said you find out your true priorities at times like that and you realise that exams and work arent the be all and end all!

Couldnt say boo to me and id tear the head off ya and i was constantly on the piss but once everything cleared up i took a year out from coll went back fully motivated and flew thro the course!!

You really find out how good your friends are at times like this and its a cliche but at the end of the day a bit of time is all that it takes!!

cuckoo

Do your school know about the home situation? Maybe you could talk to your teachers and see if they could help you work out a plan of work to do over the next few months that could get you completely back on track - if you (understandably) haven't been paying full attention for the past few months there might have been some important stuff that you missed, but remember, you can always catch up on it.

Good luck with it!

marshmallow

thank you. yes the school knows about it but no-one asks me about it any more. my year head mentioned it once to me when i had to get a note signed, she thought my dad was at home and everything was back to 'normal'. (he only comes home at weekends)

i have summer exams in a week and a half... really need to do more work for them..