would i be an idiot?

silly

would i be an idiot to get back with an ex who totally broke my heart?

we werent going out long but i felt we were great together, only he had been kinda seeing this girl before we got together and she freaked when she saw us together so she started txting him saying she loved him etc so he finished it wit me to go out with her.

they only lasted 3 months and for the last month of their relationship he was txting me, not to get back but just apologising and stuff, he realised he should never have done what he did to me and regrets it everyday but he saiid he knows its too late.

but now its off with them for good, they dont talk anymore and we are keeping in contact with eachother regulary, he says he wants to meet up and chat somenite, i'm not sure what exactly he wants but by they way he's talking lately , i think he would like us to get back together.

would i be stupid to take him back?
i'm still mad about him but should i even trust him?

Töpher

I wouldn't, but maybe thats just me.

mukki

its mad how some people only want what they don't have

Chad ghostal

IF your sure you still like him, and IF you think hes genuine about what he says,
then id say meet up with him..
id be extremely wary..
iv known people to get back together after a while and be very happy.. but
i wouldnt go rushing back into it..
and if you do decide to talk to him, make sure he knows exactly how you felt.


make him jump through hoops to make sure hes genuine.

The_B_Man

they also say "You dont know what you have until its gone".

if ur both single (double check hes single ) then go for it. that is, if u actually want to go for it.

silly

he's definately single, i just dunno if i'm right to trust him, he dumped me so easily the first time and i hated him for it but for some reason i just can't hate him anymore - i still hate her cos she got quite aggressive towards me when she got with him, telling me to keep away from him when i had'nt even spoken to him in weeks.
all my family and friends would kill me if i got back with him , they all saw what i went through when he finished it.

the_syco

silly wrote:

we werent going out long but i felt we were great together, only he had been kinda seeing this girl before we got together and she freaked when she saw us together so she started txting him saying she loved him etc so he finished it wit me to go out with her.

I wonder who's he's f***ing whilst he's going out with you?

Bad idea. He sounds like a complete tool. If, after cheating + dumping you, he feels he can just walk back into your life, it would seem, IMO, that he has no respct for you.

Amz

I wouldn't do it personally, no matter how much I had liked them or how much I thought I wanted 'em back. It's not worth putting yourself through all the anxiety and doubt that will accompany the relationship.

You're better off finding someone who knows a good thing when he has it.

MrVestek

I completely agree with syco, seems to have no consideration of your feelings at all. Stay well away.

galwaydude

tough situation but as other people have said i would be wary.If you dont trust him now how can ye have a relationship.
I hate to say it but he dumped you for her now hes got bored with her low and behold he wants you back now.Have some respect for yourself as you deserve better.

Talaghn

well i think, meet up with him and sus him out and if u still dont feel its right then jus stay friends

Dizzyblabla

aarrgghh!! what a difficult one!! I couldn't imagine ever really trusting him again though, even if you did get back with him, wouldn't you just spend the whole time "wondering"? But then, who really knows, if you don't, could you spend the rest of your life wondering "what if"? Life is too short I think to worry, go for it, see if he does gaze into your eyes when he is around you, and make sure he always knows who is boss, but NEVER throw the breakup back at him, like don't bring up the other girl, it will just eat at the relationship...

silly

the_syco wrote:

I wonder who's he's f***ing whilst he's going out with you?

Bad idea. He sounds like a complete tool. If, after cheating + dumping you, he feels he can just walk back into your life, it would seem, IMO, that he has no respct for you.

well first of all he didnt cheat on me, that i know.

and second i know he's not the type to "****" around either.

he was confused, i blame her for putting him in the situation to choose, she knew it wouldnt work, cos she is the type to "****" around, she just wanted him cos i had him, and he just made a decision, realised after it was the wrong one.

he finished it with her eventually cos she was 2timing him. maybe if he didnt go with her, he'd be wondering "what if" same as me, if i dont give this a go i'll be wondering "what if".

Skank

i think uve all ready made your mind up silly .....

and if you feel u can trust him and u like him go for it but make the buggar work for it tho dont play games but make hime romance you hat way your shore to know weather its .

a quick bit of slap and tickle or else serous ...

that what i tried to sd with my xgf but never happened , im a sucker well was ...

snoopish

Why do we always want whats bad for us? It sounds like you're in the position of falling in love with this guy, which is dangerous because he obviously was never feeling that for you (he chose the other girl). So is it a case of you want him more (emotionally) than he wants you? In saying that though I presume you are young enough and ya sure we do need to try different things out and make mistakes so we can do better the next time...this could have been one of his experience "mistakes". The only way you're going to know is if you test the waters with him...have your own experiences and if it turns out to be a mistake, then hey you'll hopefully do better the next time. good luck

L5

silly wrote:

would i be an idiot to get back with an ex who totally broke my heart?

we werent going out long but i felt we were great together, only he had been kinda seeing this girl before we got together and she freaked when she saw us together so she started txting him saying she loved him etc so he finished it wit me to go out with her.

they only lasted 3 months and for the last month of their relationship he was txting me, not to get back but just apologising and stuff, he realised he should never have done what he did to me and regrets it everyday but he saiid he knows its too late.

but now its off with them for good, they dont talk anymore and we are keeping in contact with eachother regulary, he says he wants to meet up and chat somenite, i'm not sure what exactly he wants but by they way he's talking lately , i think he would like us to get back together.

would i be stupid to take him back?
i'm still mad about him but should i even trust him?

yes, you would be stupid to even think about it

Crash

I always think that people are so quick to jump to that "oh he only wants back because he cant have her" kinda thing - simple ****ing fact - emotions are really fickle at the best of times - and they can be the most confusing things in the world. I mean i wonder how many of you have been in situations where thanks to how you feel about something or someone your emotions have screwed you around to the point where you dont know heads from tails...


OP: i think from how you've posted here - you've already made your mind up. but i'd suggest not going back into a relationship with this guy with "omfg he dumped me before, what if?" in your head, because its not worth it. its just something that will eat at you if you let it.

Beruthiel

personally
I wouldn't be anybody's second best choice

WhiteWashMan

Beruthiel wrote:

personally
I wouldn't be anybody's second best choice

exactly.

Silly wrote:

he was confused, i blame her for putting him in the situation to choose, she knew it wouldnt work, cos she is the type to "****" around, she just wanted him cos i had him, and he just made a decision, realised after it was the wrong one.

did she hold a shotgun to his head?
he made a choice, and she was his choice.

Silly wrote:

all my family and friends would kill me if i got back with him , they all saw what i went through when he finished it.

im thinking these peple probably know your situation better than anyone here, and you know, if everyone says something, theres probably something in it.

why do you ant to g back out with him so desperately?

Boston

Sounds like you allready have your mind firmly made you.

*adele*

no i wouldnt really id say youre just going to get dumped when something better comes along

tinkerbell

silly wrote:

would i be an idiot to get back with an ex who totally broke my heart?

In short - yes.

silly wrote:

we werent going out long but i felt we were great together, only he had been kinda seeing this girl before we got together and she freaked when she saw us together so she started txting him saying she loved him etc so he finished it wit me to go out with her.

Oh well in that case - OF COURSE GET BACK WITH HIM! NOT!! He ditched you for another girl, so obviously you are only his second best. You don't mean much to him at all, if he dumped you so easily the first time.

silly wrote:

they only lasted 3 months and for the last month of their relationship he was txting me, not to get back but just apologising and stuff, he realised he should never have done what he did to me and regrets it everyday but he saiid he knows its too late.

So what, he still dumped you for her, so he still decided to go with her rather than you!

silly wrote:

but now its off with them for good, they dont talk anymore and we are keeping in contact with eachother regulary, he says he wants to meet up and chat somenite, i'm not sure what exactly he wants but by they way he's talking lately , i think he would like us to get back together.

Well now that he's got nobody, he goes back to his doormat coz he knows that you'll still be with him, even though he treated you like crap!

silly wrote:

would i be stupid to take him back?
i'm still mad about him but should i even trust him?

Why do you want to be with somebody who dumped you so easily for another girl in the first place.

silly wrote:

and second i know he's not the type to "****" around either.

So does dumping you easily for another girl, breaking your heart, and now wanting to get back with you when he's got nobody not equate to messing you around?!

silly wrote:

he was confused, i blame her for putting him in the situation to choose, she knew it wouldnt work, cos she is the type to "****" around, she just wanted him cos i had him, and he just made a decision, realised after it was the wrong one.

As WWM so beautifully put it, did she hold a gun to his head? And the answer obviously is NO. He chose to be with her, coz he liked her better. I can't believe you're considering getting back with someone who thinks so less of you!

silly wrote:

he finished it with her eventually cos she was 2timing him. maybe if he didnt go with her, he'd be wondering "what if" same as me, if i dont give this a go i'll be wondering "what if".

Oh and so when you guys get back together, and some other girl comes along, he could ditch you for her as well.

Girl, get some self respect. Your family and friends know he's a loser - listen to them. He only wants you back coz he's got nobody now. If he really liked you, he wouldn't have stuck with the other girl for three whole months. Don't be an idiot. My god, why do some people like to be trampled on, it just baffles me.

Metacortex

silly wrote:

would i be an idiot to get back with an ex who totally broke my heart?

we werent going out long but i felt we were great together, only he had been kinda seeing this girl before we got together and she freaked when she saw us together so she started txting him saying she loved him etc so he finished it wit me to go out with her.

they only lasted 3 months and for the last month of their relationship he was txting me, not to get back but just apologising and stuff, he realised he should never have done what he did to me and regrets it everyday but he saiid he knows its too late.

but now its off with them for good, they dont talk anymore and we are keeping in contact with eachother regulary, he says he wants to meet up and chat somenite, i'm not sure what exactly he wants but by they way he's talking lately , i think he would like us to get back together.

would i be stupid to take him back?
i'm still mad about him but should i even trust him?

Sounds like a disaster. I wouldn't, i really wouldn't. But then again, thats just me

Slutmonkey57b

Meet up with him, and agree to start going out again on a trial basis. Organise your friends to be in the pub in case something goes wrong. Then, when he leaves the pub, text him the message "u r dumped", and get your friends to run outside chanting "loser! loser!" at him.

It will do you absolutely NO good whatsoever but neither will getting back with a using unappreciative gimp.

idontknowmyname

I don't think you should get back with him, if he broke you're heart once he'll do it again.
Of course he's apologising to you.......he wants to get back into you're good books. Sorry to be so negative but its probably the thrill of the chase for him then he'll get bored or meet someone new

silly

thank you every1 here for your advice.
i still think i have to test the waters for my own sanity though.
prob meet him 2nite
i'll let ye guys know how it went shall i?

CathyMoran

Good luck with the meeting. The guy obviously had unresolved issues with the previous girl which he now appears to have delt with. While I would urge caution (you could get badly hurt), it may be better to see what happens - there is the chance that he could hurt you again but there is also the chance that he has resolved the past issues and is better able to commit to you. When a relationship ends with unresolved issues it is difficult for the person to move on and sometimes going back and facing the past is the only way to get closure. Best wishes.

Duckjob

silly wrote:

they only lasted 3 months and for the last month of their relationship he was txting me, not to get back but just apologising and stuff

He wanted to get back

, he realised he should never have done what he did to me and regrets it everyday but he saiid he knows its too late.

He's hoping it's not too late

but now its off with them for good, they dont talk anymore and we are keeping in contact with eachother regulary, he says he wants to meet up and chat somenite, i'm not sure what exactly he wants but by they way he's talking lately , i think he would like us to get back together.

would i be stupid to take him back?
i'm still mad about him but should i even trust him?

He sounds a bit immature tbh. I know a few people with exactly the same characteristics. If I were you, I wouldn't take a gamble on how long it'll take for him to figure out the meaning of 'the grass is always greener'.

I can see it now: You take him back. 3-6 months down the line, he's missing the excitement and starts sending illicit texts to her again to get his 'buzz'.

Finish with him now and find someone who knows what they want. You'll save yourself a lot of pain.

*adele*

If you want get back with him but be very very careful-he has done this before and he will do it again

Gordon

silly wrote:

thank you every1 here for your advice.
i still think i have to test the waters for my own sanity though.
prob meet him 2nite
i'll let ye guys know how it went shall i?

Yea, let us know.

silly

ok dudes,
met him last nite...ended up at some party alot of drunk people and loud music, we talked, argued, talked, argued (alot of drink involved - which prob wasnt the best idea but hey)we werent really getting anywhere tbh, we did have a wee kiss though. eventually i left.
he called this morning, we chatted, we are not getting back together at the moment anyway, we are friends.
oh and he had the cheek to tell me that he couldnt trust me cos i was very "flirty" with my ex...
men, i'll never understand ye....

my head is throbbing...anybody got some anadin?

Chad ghostal

thanks for the update, glad everything went well, he seems like a tool.

silly

Chad ghostal wrote:

thanks for the update, glad everything went well, he seems like a tool.

sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Chad ghostal

silly wrote:

sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

lol, i wasnt being sarcastic.

chump

he does sound like a tool

you'd be a fool to get back with this tool

WhiteWashMan

silly wrote:

sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

according to people who dont understand it.

on the other hand, you went out with the guy and you argued?
yep, sounds like you two were made to be together.

glad youre not getting abck together. very mature.

Victor

.... and back on-topic from the sniping ...

galwaydude18

look from reading your original post I reckon you really relly like this dude and he has now realised that he was a tool in the first place to do what he did to you! Now if you ask me he has learned from his mistake. Ye went to a party last night and in my view that was not a great start having a chat and the posibility that ye will get back together! I would reckon that a quiet pub would be a more appropriate place for ye to have a chat! Now ye both got drunk and said things without thinking and when ye said them realised that ye shouldn't have and ended up saying hurtful things like what he said to you! When you are drunk anyone can end up acting a pure tool and do stupid stuff! Ya having an argument and realising that ye shouldn't have had it especially if was over something silly would suggest to me that ye both like each other very much and may just be afraid to fully admit it to each other! People have different points of views on many things and one or the other dont agree with it it can end up in an argument! If you want to fix things up and get back with this guy as it appears to be what you want to do in your first post then get in touch with him and solve yer issues between each other!

snoopish

Beruthiel wrote:

personally
I wouldn't be anybody's second best choice

That's easier said than done.sometimes you just let it happen, even though you know you're second best, it can have you feeling that thats all you deserve to be, and its very hard to snap out of. It takes a lot of confidence.

Kell

snoopish wrote:

Why do we always want whats bad for us?

A question answered quite well by Agent Smith when he informs Morpheus that human beings gauge themselves through misery not happiness.

Anyways, back to Silly. You would be off your head to get back with the bloke. Grow a spine, get some self confidence and be prepared to find someone that is the stuff of dreams as opposed to settling for someone you know may dump you like a smelly sock if someone else starts tugging his heart strings.

K-

chump

I think Kell got it bang on...

larryone

i've been dumped by the same person twice.
it wasnt pleasant.
at all.
personally i wouldnt give someone the opertunity to do it to me again.

gubby

silly.. do you think maybe, perhaps that one of the reasons you want to get back with him is so that you can rub it in her face, the same way she rubbed it in your face when she got him back from you in the first place.

Dinxminx

silly wrote:

would i be an idiot to get back with an ex who totally broke my heart?
would i be stupid to take him back?
i'm still mad about him but should i even trust him?

Yes.
Yes.
No.