Girlfriend's past

LegacyUser

Well here is my problem. My girlfriend recently told me that upon finding out her ex had cheated on her, she cheated on him as revenge and then ended it. She says she only cheated on him because he'd done it first, but to me, she still cheated on him. I keep thinking, a cheater is a cheater, I shouldn't trust her, and I'm scared. I don't want to get hurt. I really like her, her family like me, she's gorgeous, smart, and I love being with her, but she's my first girlfriend so I'm a bit inexperienced. What should I do?

StupidLikeAFox

She cheated on the other guy, a woman scorned and all that. She was gonna break up with him anyway so decided to get a li'l revenge while at she was at it. If she likes you she wont be risking it or anything, and by the sounds of it wont be cheating just for the laugh or w/e

Chinafoot

just make sure you dont cheat on her!!

but seriosly, you really like her so whats the problem? she didnt have to tell you but she did, and she gave you a fair enough reason for doing what she did.

personally i wouldnt get too hung up on it.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies so far guys.
More advice would be greatly appreciated.

bombidol

man, i dont wanna know anything about my girlfriends past. as long as she doesnt have frickin aids or something im happy.

Winters

I was the guy your girlfriend cheated on btw.

j/k Tbh, I dont think her past usually matters unless there is some sort of serious problem that will affect both of you. As long as you love each other, blah, blah, blah the past should not make any sort of effect.

Just dont cheat on her.

Beruthiel

scared_lad wrote:

Thanks for the replies so far guys.
More advice would be greatly appreciated.

what other advice are you looking for? it's the past, and honestly, she told you about it because it was something she did and probably was a once off. After all, if she was going to do it to you, why would she be so up front?
she did something in the past that she's probably not too proud of, but it was out of hurt and she needed the revenge.
all of that has nothing to do with the two of ye now and I don't believe in this instance that it means she will do something like this again - unless of course, you cheat on her
honestly, forget about it and get on with enjoying your relationship with her.

vibe666

she cheated outof revenge. it's natural to want to hurt someone who has hurt you, and what better way than to do the same back to them. i think a good percentage of people would do the same thing if cheated on if the opportunity arose.

it doesn't mean that she's going to cheat on you though.

take it as a lesson not to do the same to her and you'll be fine.

try not to judge people by what they've done in the past, especially when it's a heat of the moment thing.

tbh, i think it says the opposite to what you are thinking it means. if she had a blazé attitude towards cheating she wouldn't have lashed out at him like that. she knows how much it hurts to be cheated on, so if she cares about you like you care about her I doubt very much whether she'd want to hurt you like that.

it sounds to me like she was reaching out to you to let you know hw strongly she feels about the subject.

tell her your own fears. not that you think she might cheat, but that you feel very strongly about faithfulness, you know she's been hurt before and that you'd never do something like that to her.

trust me, after being cheated on, she's probably more worried about it than you are.

optiplexgx270

just dont cross her and your sorted :P hehe gud luk

Sleepy

scared_lad wrote:

I keep thinking, a cheater is a cheater, I shouldn't trust her, and I'm scared.

Life isn't black and white so try not to think in monotone and give the girl a break, she obviously trusts you if she'll talk about stuff like that with you.

seamus

It's a subtle hint - cheat on her and she'll take revenge - but nothing more.

There are two types of cheating - premeditated and unintentional. The first usually only occurs at times like your girlfriend describes - getting back at someone - and most of us would probably do something similar given the right set of circumstances. If she had a history of unintentional, "accidental" cheating, I'd be worried, but otherwise no.

Skank

shes told you something from her past to show one that she likes u and 2 that she wants to trust you which i would say she does .

shrug it of forget about it and have fun shes opening up yo you in a way how is that a bad thing which meens shes takein out any skelitians in her closet as she doesnt want the relation ship to be affected bye the sounds of things ..

LegacyUser

Skank wrote:

shes told you something from her past to show one that she likes u and 2 that she wants to trust you which i would say she does .

shrug it of forget about it and have fun shes opening up yo you in a way how is that a bad thing which meens shes takein out any skelitians in her closet as she doesnt want the relation ship to be affected bye the sounds of things ..

WTF

StupidLikeAFox

Skank wrote:

She has told you something from her past, to show you that she likes you and also that she wants to trust you which, i would say she does .

shrug it off, forget about it, and have fun. Shes opening up to you in a way. How is that a bad thing? It means shes takin out the ''skelitins in her closet'', but she doesnt want the relationship to be affected, by the sounds of things anyway ..

Edited

OFDM

seamus wrote:

It's a subtle hint - cheat on her and she'll take revenge - but nothing more.

Yeah sounds like she's laying down the law alright, but not knowing what she's like she could range from a being manipulative biatch trying to control to scared_lad through fear of doing something wrong to someone who's honest about things she's done in the past that she regrets.

My advice is go with your gut.

WhiteWashMan

i think she is just sharing something from her past. people change as the grow, and if something happened now, that is not a template of how she would react.
stop over analysing everything she says.

dearg_doom

Skank wrote:

shes told you something from her past to show one that she likes u and 2 that she wants to trust you which i would say she does .

shrug it of forget about it and have fun shes opening up yo you in a way how is that a bad thing which meens shes takein out any skelitians in her closet as she doesnt want the relation ship to be affected bye the sounds of things ..

Dude - you're not Gambit are you?




OP: chill out and enjoy your GF, don't dwell on the fact that she cheated on someone else. You'll be greand.

hussey

She was also honest with you knowing that it wouldn't paint a good picture of here,that should mean something .. if he cheated on her and she cheated on him, they odviously weren't a good couple .. so relax and have fun

*Page*

ever do something just to get up someones nose???

well i'd never do the dirt on someone faithful but when i found out that my x bf did(he at the time was my bf) i invited him out and the girl(oh he didn't know i knew neither did she) i got one of my good friends(thinking that nothing would come out of it) and asked him if i could snog him to get back at my soon to be x. he said sure we walk up hand in hand and kissed... groped and got really into it! right infront of him. he got mad and started to lose the rag. i said ah ah do you want me to lose the rag over her??? and walked away with my mate(current for over a year bf)

before that point and after that point my mind never wandered. i never wanted another man apart from the one i was seeing.

the wanting is the cheating not the revenge!

you keep your nose clean and so will she(that the deal with myself and my guy!!)

it works

Skank

Hey what ? i was only sayin what i thaught sorry for havein a opion

The_B_Man

wat? did u ask her bout her ex fellas or did she tell u this out of the blue?

i'd never ask bout the history. and i suggest u dont do it anymore. more trouble than its worth. what you dont know.....

CathyMoran

To the OP - she admitted to something in her past - it shows trust. Being cheated on can make people do the strangest things - she may not have even totally consciously done it at the time. Move forward - I can not imagine that she would ever cheat again.

cavo

put her to the test and get one of ur mates to come on to her.If she turns him down she passes if not dump her like the little whore she is

Beruthiel

cavo
please read this forums charter with regards to unhelpful comments
B

Laguna

I'd be of the opinion that if she's that childish to sleep with someone because her previous boyfriend did, what would stop her doing it again? She could have just ended it with the guy, she didn't have to sleep with someone else to back up her point. Sounds petty to me.

WhiteWashMan

Laguna wrote:

I'd be of the opinion that if she's that childish to sleep with someone because her previous boyfriend did, what would stop her doing it again? She could have just ended it with the guy, she didn't have to sleep with someone else to back up her point. Sounds petty to me.

and perhaps thats in the past and she has grown and developed as a person since then?

Wibbs

Exactly. It's in the past. If you think she's gorgeous, smart, and you love being with her, give her the benefit of the doubt.