Things they'd never say

Ardent

Bit of light hearted relief for a change. Inspired by a similar post on another forum.

Let's see what boards-ers can come up with.

Examples of things they'd never say:

Vieira: "Fancy a pint Roy"
Jermaine Pennant: "Just a lemonade for me I'm driving"
Dennis Bergkamp: "Yes, could I cash my airmiles in please."
Roy Carroll: "Excuse me ref, but that was goal......."
Jay Jay Okocha: "I'd like to open a savings account please"
Ron Atkinson: "Christ, Im looking pale"

super_furry

Jose Mourinho: "No, we're not good enough."
Robbie Savage: "No ref, it wasn't a foul, he didn't touch me."
Robbie Fowler: "Actually I have a soft spot for Manchester United."
Arsene Wenger: "Yes, I saw it and Pires dived."
Alex Ferguson: "Yes I saw it and Ronaldo dived."
Bill Shankly: "Everton are great, aren't they?"
George Best: "I think I'll have a quiet night in."
Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink: "Nevermind about the money."
Pele : "Are you having erection problems?"

Actually scrap that last one.

Boro

Rooney "Sorry Ref, its your decision"
Roy Keane "Sorry Ref, its your decision"
Drogba "I think im overpriced"
Shearer "Right lads, lets get smashed to celebrate"
Kewell "I want to play"
K Dyer "I think i'll have an early night"
Bellamy "I have lots of respect for my manager and teammates"

WhiteWashMan

Glen Hoddle "im donating the match fees to a disabled persons charity"
Ronaldo "hey, here, have the ball"
Les Ferdinand "i think im too old to play football"
John Hartson "no, go on my son, you have the last pie"
Ronaldinho "Im 100% certain that tehre will be no engl......


forget that last one.

yop

Harry Kewell - "I am going to an up and coming club"
Beneitez - "I think that we can win the CL"
Rooney - "I hate grannies"
Ronaldo - "I slipped I swear"
RVN - "I love horsefeed"
Viera - "I am an olympic diver"
Le Saux - "I like girls"
Sir Alex - "Well done Arsenal"
Mourinho - "I don't think we will win anything this season"
Mick McCarthy - "Give us a hug Roy"
Roy Keane - "Give us a kiss Mick"
Eamon Dunphy - "Roy Keane is a crap player"
George Hamilton - "Japp Stumm"
Bill O Herilihy - "Oki doki"
Wayne Rooney - "Does my ar*se look big in this"
Kezman - "I love to shave"
Shearer - "I'd love to play for Man United"
Ryan Giggs - "Am I hairy"

MrJoeSoap

Martin O' Neill: "Managing Rangers has always been a dream of mine"
Neil Warnock: "The referee was poor but I don't like complaining"
David O' Leary: Any sentence without the word "eh" in it
David Beckham: "I hear Torquay is lovely at this time of year"
El-Hadji Diouf: "I wasnt aiming for his face, I swear"
Matt Le Tissier: "I really did want to leave"
Thierry Henry: "I really am the greatest striker of all-time"

jank

Alex: Maybe im too old for this job
Roy Keane: Maybe im past it
Eamon Dunphy: Maybe he is past it, better write another book pronto!

_blank_

Pat Dolan : "Fair play to Shels, they deserved it"

MrJoeSoap

seansouth wrote:

Pat Dolan : "Fair play to Shels, they deserved it"

not quite, but close

even if it wasn't from the season to which you referred

threebeards

George Hamilton: "Duff will take the corner from the Hogan stand side of the field"

_blank_

Damien Richardson : any single syllable word.

dcarroll

David Beckham : "you know"

jonny68

Excellent guys.............

BaZmO*

Steven Gerrard: "It means a lot to me to be starting the 05/06 season as the Liverpool captain"

Thanx 4 The Fish

Roy Keane - I want to finish my career at the top.
Chris Kamara - So a hat trick of assists for you tonight then Cristiano, how did that feel.
Michael Owen - It's been great getting a GL medal in my first season at Real.
Rodney Marsh - Why did Beckham not sign for Newcastle.

Scratch that last one.

Pigman II

Ronaldino : "I think I'll wash my hair today."
Alco Ferguson : "I hope Gary Neville and Ronaldo are very happy together"
Pat Dolan : "I've just bought myself TWO season tickets for Turners Cross"
Mark Lawrenson : "I'm proud to be Irish"
Damian Duff : "ET Phone home"

Big Ears

Roy Keane : sorry Alfie , il compensate ya for that leg .
Rooney: them Liverpool fans aren't a bad bunch .
Beckham: my free-kick and all-round abilities are all way overated .
Arsene Wenger: I saw it .
Costacurta:maybe its time to retire .
Alex Ferguson: No thx il leave the chewing gum for today.

PHB

Henry: Sit down, shut up
Mourinho: We just got beat
Owen: What the **** do you think, of course I'm pissed off I'm not playing in front of fatty?]
Vieria: I've sign a lifetime commitment to Arsenal
Ferguson: Of course it was the ****ign keepers fault, he won't be here next year
Wenger: I didn't see it
Fergie: I didn't see it
Mourinho: I didn't see it, but I saw Fergie and Wenger sleeping with the ref

WhiteWashMan

anelka - Im here for the football...

Pigman II

Kevin Keegan : "I'd love it if I could stop walking out of my jobs! I'd love it!"

Slash/ED

David Connolly "Spot on Gaffer, I wouldn't start me either, the other blokes miles better"
Kezman "I thought the goal to wrap up my double hat trick was a bit special"
Glen Crowe "Yeah, I'll sign that contract, sure I'm bohs till I die"

Oh, hang on...