Lack 'o' The ladies

Laguna · 09-03-2005 5:10pm #1

Yo, i've ranted on this before but it's still sort of annoying me. I'm an outgoing, easy going, normal looking chap and have no problem talking to the ladies but for some reason I just never seem to meet any girls!
When I say meet someone I don't mean bury the face on some girl, ****, we can all do that, I mean meet a girl and say "Heeey, I'd like to get to know this girl better/potential lady friend", admittedley I'm in college in Carlow doing computers (the course narrowing down the gender divide to *cough* all men) and i've been doing the pub/club thing for years and that yields nowt.
It's not a confidence thing as I'm a jobbin' actor so I don't know what the hell is going wrong here!?
Am I just extremely unlucky in not meeting anyone? Could it be the fact that i'm from the U.K?!

Zulu · 09-03-2005 5:20pm

Luck I guess.

LegacyUser · 09-03-2005 5:26pm

Well carlow women are generally verrrry unfriendly and hard to approach, in regards to women from other parts of the country, just my experience thats all. Very few computer courses have a lot of women in them, unless they have management/business related to the course.

I've been out on the pull, in places like waterford, kilkenny and galway, and I've been amazed by how friendly the women were.

tinkerbell · 09-03-2005 5:29pm

Join a soc / club or something, and see if that can work. Ya generally won't meet someone in a pub / club.

Bard · 09-03-2005 5:31pm

Sign up for an Internet dating site.

They work.

Seriously.

Laguna · 09-03-2005 5:44pm

Thanks all
I tried the whole club/socs thing, that didn't work out either and
if I have to resort to internet dating I'll just give up altogether! Psyche!

The_B_Man · 09-03-2005 5:54pm

u mean wat ur lookin for is a hotty with a good personality in the college?

good luck.

Jonny Arson · 09-03-2005 6:59pm

Like you I absolutely hate been one of these blokes who is ''just a friend'' bloke in the eyes of the ladies.

I'll never understand women. They are always looking for blokes who treat them right and guess what they always end up with the b*stards! Sometimes I think to myself is it even worth the effort trying to find one. They are a specie I will never understand.

My advice to you would be to stop making the effort and hope that someone decent will happen to come into your life. Pubs/clubs - works for some but I honestly don't think you will meet anyone truly special in any of those places.

The_B_Man · 09-03-2005 7:12pm

actually, funny thing is, if ur lookin for someone and refuse to go out and eat the face off someone, then you dont meet new people, thus, u miss out on any potential "good personality" owners. thats why people say that when u stop lookin, u'll find someone. though 3 out of the last 4 girls i was with were friends of a friend who i met while out on the piss with the respective friend anyway so i cant really talk. also, i met kate in a nightclub with no intention of havin a relationship as i was just out of another one and that lasted over 3 years.

combs · 09-03-2005 8:36pm

Has it struck anyone else that all these 'why can't I meet?' threads are by men. Women, who are supposed to be chaste and made unattractive by promiscuity, seem to have no problem meeting men, but men, who are supposed to be promiscuous and made unattractive by frigidity, have a terrible time even getting into a situation where they can talk to a woman. Why is this? Is it that women suffer the same thing but don't mind as much? Research is needed.

Besprechen · 09-03-2005 11:21pm

combs wrote:

Has it struck anyone else that all these 'why can't I meet?' threads are by men. Women, who are supposed to be chaste and made unattractive by promiscuity, seem to have no problem meeting men, but men, who are supposed to be promiscuous and made unattractive by frigidity, have a terrible time even getting into a situation where they can talk to a woman. Why is this? Is it that women suffer the same thing but don't mind as much? Research is needed.

no idea, more men on here than women?
im suddenly single after more than 5 years & its not my idea of enjoyment to go clubbing to meet some drunk girls so ive bitten the bullet with a dating site, am I sad? but there really are some really nice looking profiles on there, im in the middle of trying to reply to my first ever and trying not to look like some freaky weirdo and will see what happens. maybe we should start up a thread about appropriate responses as its the hardest few lines ive ever written... (which is why im on a break in here!)

NeMiSiS · 10-03-2005 12:29am

Hell I love Carlow ! College girls! Get drunk..jump what bones you can.. easy..peasy.. Carlow IT squeezy
TK

The_B_Man · 10-03-2005 2:42pm

ye i dont think he's sayin its hard to get a roide in carlow, hes sayin its hard to find a girl who he would like to roide regularly in one of those eh relationships things and that the personalities, or lack thereof, is a turn off!

I think the Original poster needs to come to the tower on the 18th march for my mates 21st. plenty of girls there, Tom!

and she sed invite as many ppl as i like!

*Page* · 10-03-2005 2:50pm

stop trying just go out enjoy yourself and they will find you!

rainbow kirby · 10-03-2005 4:30pm

Zane from MTV2 wrote:

Like you I absolutely hate been one of these blokes who is ''just a friend'' bloke in the eyes of the ladies.

Lol, I'm one of those girls who's 'just a friend' in the eyes of the guys!

Homer J Simpson · 11-03-2005 5:13pm

Look mate the fact that you're looking means you're giving off the desperation vibe. Women have a great sense for picking this up. Concentrate on other things for the moment. It'll happen when you least expect it.

LegacyUser · 11-03-2005 5:28pm

while this is an anoying analagy, it is true.

irish women can be v stand offish, i had to go to london to meet a nice girl.

Homer J Simpson wrote:

Look mate the fact that you're looking means you're giving off the desperation vibe. Women have a great sense for picking this up. Concentrate on other things for the moment. It'll happen when you least expect it.

Sharza- · 12-03-2005 3:41am

Zane from MTV2 wrote:

Like you I absolutely hate been one of these blokes who is ''just a friend'' bloke in the eyes of the ladies.

I'll never understand women. They are always looking for blokes who treat them right and guess what they always end up with the b*stards!

Its a misunderstaing us guys have about women likeing nice guys. You see us men take it literally despite knowing that women allways talk in code.

Women end up with b*stards because its the compromise. Not because they like being treated like **** but because atleast they got a man. And not some wimp afraid of his own sexuality.

Be nice, but dont ever be a pushover.

rainbow kirby wrote:

Lol, I'm one of those girls who's 'just a friend' in the eyes of the guys!

Honey, these guys are either afraid to say they like you or its because of how you look.

Firetrap · 13-03-2005 2:40pm

It's all down to luck really. I'm a single female and I have several friends of both sexes who are single as well. And it's not that any of us are freaks or anything (I hope :eek: ) It's hard to know where to meet people. Pubs & clubs are overwhelming at times and don't suit everyone. I know people who've joined clubs etc. in the hope of meeting someone special and although they made new friends (never a bad thing), it didn't help their lurve life either.

GraveRobber · 13-03-2005 2:58pm

Its strange really but I think the trick is just relax nd stay chilled, the more effort you put into tryin ta score the more desperate you'll look. My 3 rules o thumb are
1. When ever some1 rings you to go out, at the last second, r if they ring ya at lik 1 in the morning - Go out! the best night for findin some1 is when your spontanious(spelling?).
2. Surround yourself with female friends - I recon about 90% of relationships are from that sort of thing.
3. Just swollow your balls and dive in, never turn down an oppertunity, get that glorious phone number (any way you can).

I no how ya feel with the computer course thing... I do computer applications... 3 women in the course as well as 40 odd blokes

... and 2 of them are *Dogey*

Mr. Presentable · 13-03-2005 3:07pm

Buy a puppy.

Something with big eyes and floppy ears, Springers are good, especially black and white.

Then go to the park. Take lots of walks around town.

You'll need a stick to keep them off.

Trust me.

The_B_Man · 13-03-2005 6:39pm

just stop spankin the plank for 2 weeks. then when u go out u'll be dyin for a little bitta sumtin sumtin of a lady and forget about all the psychobabble thats involved wit pullin these days.

Jonny Arson · 13-03-2005 9:27pm

Sharza- wrote:

Its a misunderstaing us guys have about women likeing nice guys. You see us men take it literally despite knowing that women allways talk in code.

Women end up with b*stards because its the compromise. Not because they like being treated like **** but because atleast they got a man. And not some wimp afraid of his own sexuality.

Be nice, but dont ever be a pushover.

I absolutely hate the use of the saying being a MAN. Just because a bloke happens to be decent, friendly, honest how does that make him less 'MAN' than a so called MAN? So in order to be a 'man' I have to treat women like sh*t? Eh no thanks. I'm quite happy with myself as a bloke. I don't feel because I would consider myself to a friendly, honest, caring bloke no less 'man' than the average bloke in the street. I'm happy that I am the way I am, its in my nature but I consider myself to be your typical bloke no more or less than your average guy in the street and I am no pushover. The day I treat a women like sh*t is the day I lose my soul as a human being.

StupidLikeAFox · 13-03-2005 9:51pm

Thats very touching, give yourself a pat on the back.

ANYWAY, what he was trying to say is be nice but not a pushover, like worship the girl and stuff, coz if your too nice ya'll make an eejit of yourself. And then she leaves because its getting to clingy and your left saying ''but i was always nice to her, isnt that what women want? *sob*sob*''

i am a lady · 14-03-2005 2:01pm

Homer J Simpson wrote:

Look mate the fact that you're looking means you're giving off the desperation vibe. Women have a great sense for picking this up. Concentrate on other things for the moment. It'll happen when you least expect it.

I dunno chaps, apparently I was giving off desperate vibes at the weekend - or so I was told by a guy that I zero interest in on a night that I was simply out for a beer, and not on the pull. So perhaps people are not as perceptive as they like to think they are. I certainly wouldn't know a desperate guy if he came up and bit me on the bottom (ok, maybe the bottom-biting would give it away!). All I know is that me and my other single female friends have exactly the same problem meeting guys as you have meeting women. Maybe we should try getting some online dating going on boards!

Laguna · 14-03-2005 4:44pm

Think I must have given out the wrong idea here..I don't go round giving off any desperate vibes with girls! When I go out I don't go under the pretence of "looking" to score either, I go out most of the time 'cos i'm bored!.

I think meeting somone is all down to luck, and down in this part of the country (carlow) whether or not you play GAA is the magic number.

The_B_Man · 14-03-2005 5:20pm

u could always try that brunette one in the college. you know the one who was fine in first year that everyone was tryin to shag but after a few years of heavy socialising looks like the parties have taken their toll! or theres also that curly blonde one, though i think she has a few diseases! i heard shes also a psycho wit a temper too. suppose u could lie and say ur on the GAA team. though most of the fellas that brunette was wit on tuesday night werent off the GAA team. maybe she has a few mates. anyway, my point is, theres a few girls that dont care if ur not on the GAA team! :rolleyes:

also, get back to me if u wanna go to that 21st on friday night in the tower. there'll be plenty of the "good personality" types at that!

bp_me · 16-03-2005 1:25am

Laguna wrote:

Yo, i've ranted on this before but it's still sort of annoying me. I'm an outgoing, easy going, normal looking chap and have no problem talking to the ladies but for some reason I just never seem to meet any girls!
When I say meet someone I don't mean bury the face on some girl, ****, we can all do that, I mean meet a girl and say "Heeey, I'd like to get to know this girl better/potential lady friend", admittedley I'm in college in Carlow doing computers (the course narrowing down the gender divide to *cough* all men) and i've been doing the pub/club thing for years and that yields nowt.
It's not a confidence thing as I'm a jobbin' actor so I don't know what the hell is going wrong here!?
Am I just extremely unlucky in not meeting anyone? Could it be the fact that i'm from the U.K?!

You think you have it bad. Try being the only guy in your course.

As far as the clubs and socs went, which ones did you try??

MrPinK · 16-03-2005 2:35pm

Homer J Simpson wrote:

Look mate the fact that you're looking means you're giving off the desperation vibe. Women have a great sense for picking this up. Concentrate on other things for the moment. It'll happen when you least expect it.

This is somethign that is said a lot in these situations, but I don't agree with at all. There's a huge difference between actively trying to find a woman and looking desperate. They don't have to go hand-in-hand. Yes, you absolutely don't want to appear desperate, but I don't think you should give up looking. It'd be great if you could just go about your everyday life and the perfect woman will just happen to run into you, but it's not all that likely. The more women you meet, the better chance you have of finding the right one. To meet more women you have to make the effort and do something about it.

Laguna · 16-03-2005 3:18pm

I tried all the clubs and socs.

Drama
Film Society
Tennis

All of them I say!

I stand by my Carlow theory though.. clannish people that they are

Red Alert · 16-03-2005 10:29pm

Well i can somewhat relate to most of this - 3 girls out of a class of 27, two of whom come with long-term boyfriends. You make an interesting point as to whether being from the UK is a bad thing? Me thinks not at all - in fact that coupled with the fact that you're an actor (and most likely have a good sense of humor) should make for quite an interesting combination. I really would advise a few things tho':

You're not going to get anyone by being desperate, or as i found, by even "looking". I didn't believe it, but it is definitely true.

I get on very well with girls, in fact I probably have the same number or more girl friends than guys - a fluke really due to the gender imbalance around where I live etc. This is always good - girls can recommend nice friends (generally simply in the context of a score/shag rather than "my mate wants a long-term relationship".)

Secondly, you are turning down a huge range of opportunities by not going in for the quick score / "wearing the face off". It's sometimes good to view scoring and one night stands as one step closer to a relationship if that's how you're inclined. In the same way that you might or might not get a kiss depending on how you can talk/dance, you might or might not get a relationship depending on how exciting you were on the night in question.

Depending on circumstances, you just might even make a new friend - who will have lots of female friends too, which you might never have spoken to. Don't close off that avenue - although i do see where you are coming from.

Lack 'o' The ladies

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