Drinks and personality

tman

Appologies if this one has already been posted;

A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were
asked
if they could identify a customers personality on what drinks they
ordered.

Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

WOMEN WHO DRINK:

Drink: Beer.

Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.

Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.


Drink: Cocktails or Blender drinks with umbrella.

Personality: Flaky, annoy ing, dizzy, and a pain i n the ass.

Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.


Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas eg; Scotch and dry

Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.

Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink. . . . .

Drink : Water

Personality : Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.

Approach : Don't.

Drink: Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask)

Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.

Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Drink: Bacardi Breezer, Lemon Ruskie, West Coast Cooler, etc

Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated ac tually has
absolutel y no clue.

Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.

Drink: Baileys.

Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

Drink: Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.)

Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...
and naked.

Approach: Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.

IF MEN DRINK

As always, very simple and clear cut ...

Cider : He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid ...

Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor / student and wants to get laid. ..

Premium Lo cal Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid ...

Bitter : He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid...

Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid...

Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another...

Water : He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his
mouth
and still wants to get laid ...

Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a Sophisticated image
and help him get laid ...

Vodka or Brandy : Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm
scarf...Desperate
to get laid ...

Port : Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get
laid...

Whisky : He doesn't give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone
who
will get in hi s way of getting laid ..

Jack Daniels : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about
feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid ...

Rum or Tequila : Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid...

Bacardi Breezer, vodka cruiser, Lemon Ruskie, West Coast Cooler etc :
He's
gay (Blatantly) don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change..

Shabadu

tman wrote:

Drink: Baileys.

Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

roffle

Tobias Greeshman

tman wrote:

Drink: Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.)

Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...
and naked.

Approach: Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.

he..he... lol!