More poor jokes

nesf

Oldies but I'm bored with little to do so...

The plane crash

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred today when a small 2-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery this afternoon in central Ireland.

Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

swiss

That one deserves this accolade.

lol

Good 'un. Here's another (prolly came up before)

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman were on their way to the olympics. They were going well until they came to the entrance to the stadium. Since none of them had tickets, they couldn't enter. Paddy Scotsman had a brainwave. He picked up an iron bar that was on the street, went to the stadium again, this time explaining that he was a competitor.

"What sport do you compete in?" asked the security guard.
"Javelin" replies Paddy Scotsman.

Paddy Scotsman is allowed to enter. Now Paddy Englishman approaches with a manhole cover under his arm. He states that he too is competing in the olympics.

"What sport do you compete in?" asked the security guard.
"Discus" replies Paddy Englishman.

He too gains admission. Finally Paddy Irisman arrives at the entrance, this time with a roll of barbed wire under his arm. He explains that he too is at the olympics to compete. The security guard, a little perplexed by this, asks him what sport he could possibly compete in with a roll of barbed wire.

"Oh, Fencing" responds Paddy Irishman

seamus

Yes that first one f*cking rocks (had to rob that smiley - damn cool)
Another dat's prolly been up b4:

A newly-married(3 months ago) couple get into bed. The wife rolls over to go to sleep. Her husband kisses her on the cheek and says 'oh hunny-bunny, your shnookim-wookins doesn't feel tired yet'.

Getting the message, she says 'OK, but I gotta go to the toilet first'. She gets up and walking out the door, trips on the edge of the rug, falling, splat, flat on her face. Her husband leaps out of bed, saying 'oh my poor hunny-bunny is your lovely nosey-wosey alright?', as he tries to kiss it better. She says 'yeah I'm OK'.

They get back into bed and spend the next 3 hours doing the wyld thang. Then they're lying there and she says, 'I really gotta go to the toilet now', so she stands up, and trips again on the same piece of rug, falling onto her face once more. He looks over and says 'Clumsy b|tch'.


And, quite clearly, a pin is heard dropping in the distance..........

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"There is a race between mankind and the universe. Mankind is trying to build bigger, better, faster, and more foolproof machines. The universe is trying to build bigger, better, and faster fools. So far the universe is winning." - Albert Einstein

[This message has been edited by seamus (edited 06-09-2001).]

Bluehair

Scene: Bedroom, wife in bed getting ready to go to sleep, husband enters...

Husband (handing a glass of water and some paracetamol to his wife): "Honey, here you are take these.."

Wife : "What the hell are you giving me these for?"

Husband : "They're for your headache darling"

Wife : "Headache?! but I *don't* have a headache!"

Husband : "Gooooooood...... "

Lump

LOL, I love the last one


SOme one was thinking ahead.


John

strat

lol pld
hehehehehhehehe

Volvagia

lol there all funny especially the first and last ones!

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The Millenium Bug, You mean Han Solo's ship is coming here in the year 2000?