groans about the current gf

LegacyUser

hi, (typical question coming up)

I am just wondering about a few things, and I think this would be maybe a good idea to get an opinion from people who don't know me or her.

1) she keeps talking about all her past boyfriends, even when we are in bed together. She mentions that she could never love again like she did this one guy.
2) she mentioned infront of another guy (who fancies her to bits), that she doesn't miss sex, except we've had sex. It was just the three of us at the table in a bar.
3) she goes on about how the guy in #2 is so cool and funny and nice. But she doesn't have any interest in him.
4) she doesn't like the whole holding hands thing, or public display of affection that much, not that that is a big problem with me.
5) sends me texts messages at night saying that she wishes I was in her bed to keep her warm.

I know we have to have a chat and talk about this, it's like a rollercoster ride, or split personalities, I am totally confused, never been more confused about a girl in my life. Maybe I see our relationship a bit different than her.

yours,
confused petal

simu

Tell her you'd rather not hear about her past history as it upsets you. If she doesn't respect that, time to find a new gf.

Beruthiel

confused petal wrote:

hi1) she keeps talking about all her past boyfriends, even when we are in bed together. She mentions that she could never love again like she did this one guy

:eek:
height of bad manners tbh and totally insensitive

2) she mentioned infront of another guy (who fancies her to bits), that she doesn't miss sex, except we've had sex. It was just the three of us at the table in a bar

have you not asked her straight out why she said that?

3) she goes on about how the guy in #2 is so cool and funny and nice. But she doesn't have any interest in him

trying to keep you on your toes perhaps?
I hate game playing - what age are ye?

4) she doesn't like the whole holding hands thing, or public display of affection that much, not that that is a big problem with me.

each to his own I suppose, though I don't see the problem

I know we have to have a chat and talk about this

yes you do, why haven't you?

Maybe I see our relationship a bit different than her

only you and her can answer this

koneko

Definitely have a talk, and let her know how much it bothers you. She's being totally insensitive and a little odd (to say the least).

Kimbot

How old are you and how long are you going out with this girl?????

LegacyUser

age : mid 20's

not going out long, 3 weeks or so.

I think the problem is that we are probably looking for different things, or need different things from this relationship.

WhiteWashMan

sounds like she needs closure from her last relationship, and until she gets that, she will not be able to have a relationship with anyone.

Evil Phil

WhiteWashMan wrote:

sounds like she needs closure from her last relationship, and until she gets that, she will not be able to have a relationship with anyone.

Aye, I was thinking she's on the rebound and that she's playing head games. At least make sure she's knows that you're unhappy and perhaps start looking else where for somebody who appreciates you more.

Sleepy

She's either:

a) extremely insecure and feels she needs to keep you on your toes to hang onto you
b) under the age of 18
c) sees you as a fcuk buddy instead of a boyfriend
d) using you until something better comes along
e) watching too much sex and the city
f) a total fruit-loop (I believe that's the correct medical term)

BEAT

she wouldnt be a capricorn would she?

she is either trying to get you to express your feelings about her, have you?
or she is just totally rude and unaware of how this kind of talk affects you.
Have a chat, soon.

I caught myself saying something about an ex once to a current bf and I saw the expression on his face sour and realised I shouldnt be saying the things I was...ever since then I have been more aware of the "ex" talk around current bf's or potential bf's
maybe you just need to make her aware of how you feel for her to realise

Trojan

It's kick to the kerb time I'm afraid. You're (probably) in love with her, and she is most definitely not in love with you. Have a bit more self-respect next time.

The Sweeper

Straight up?

She's not playing head games, she's not keeping you on your toes, she's not on the rebound, she's not unsure of your relationship, she's not trying to find herself, she's not testing you, she's not insecure.

It's a fact of life that not many people like to admit, but here it is:


Some people are fucking horrible.

It's the way they're made.

This isn't your fault. Don't look for justification. Don't wonder if she'd change if you did something different, or if she'd be nicer to you if you tried harder. Don't worry about whether or not you've done something to deserve this treatment.

Nobody should ever be treated like that - and don't let the fact that you're not used to such treatment mean that you put up with it because you're not sure why it's happening and you're waiting to see if it changes.

Accept the fact that she's just a fucking horrible bitch, and kick her into touch.

Slutmonkey57b

It's only been 3 weeks, give the girl a break. Maybe she's just not taking the whole thing very seriously and doesn't realise you are. Talk to her and find out.

What kid of guy calls himself "confused petal"??

Try and be more metrosexual maybe?

pickarooney

Slutmonkey57b wrote:

What kid of guy calls himself "confused petal"??

His sole function is to sit there and look pretty to attract worthwhile suitors who'll pollinate the flower as he wilts and dies?

StandnDeliver

it sounds like shes teasing the no2 man and being insenitive if not a little nasty towars you.if shes sending you texts saying shes missing you at night then she is playing games

Kell

Trojan, MAJD, I couldnt have put it better myself so I wont even try.

Move on petal (it makes me shudder to call a guy this). Plenty more fish in the sea to be wasting time on someone that upsets you.

K-

Humblebee

If she was hurt in her last relationship, she may just be toying with the idea of trying to hurt someone hersefl. Talk to her about it. She could just be trying to get a rise out of you if she feels you're being too complacent.

Nuttzz

she has more bagagge than a left luggage point, the words fish, sea and plenty come to mind. see D, E & F of sleepys post

Doodee

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

Straight up?

She's not playing head games, she's not keeping you on your toes, she's not on the rebound, she's not unsure of your relationship, she's not trying to find herself, she's not testing you, she's not insecure.

It's a fact of life that not many people like to admit, but here it is:


Some people are fucking horrible.

True. Afraid the girl is more concerned about her own feelings and no one elses.
Dont believe talking will do much, leopards never change their spots, and people seldom differ.
All the best though.

ven0m

confused petal wrote:

hi, (typical question coming up)

I am just wondering about a few things, and I think this would be maybe a good idea to get an opinion from people who don't know me or her.

1) she keeps talking about all her past boyfriends, even when we are in bed together. She mentions that she could never love again like she did this one guy.
2) she mentioned infront of another guy (who fancies her to bits), that she doesn't miss sex, except we've had sex. It was just the three of us at the table in a bar.
3) she goes on about how the guy in #2 is so cool and funny and nice. But she doesn't have any interest in him.
4) she doesn't like the whole holding hands thing, or public display of affection that much, not that that is a big problem with me.
5) sends me texts messages at night saying that she wishes I was in her bed to keep her warm.

I know we have to have a chat and talk about this, it's like a rollercoster ride, or split personalities, I am totally confused, never been more confused about a girl in my life. Maybe I see our relationship a bit different than her.

yours,
confused petal

I have been in your boat quite recently with the exact same kinda **** & all I will say is run for the hills like you're running for your life - she will mess with your head & eventually stick you in the friendzone which will mess with your head more.... run & don't look back.....


::: ven0mous :::

Zombienosh

Yep I agree, tell her where to go.

LegacyUser

Well thanks everyone for their comments...

I think that I am willing to give her some time, as everything at the start happened so quickly. I think I am just going to ride this one out, see how it develops and try and not get too involved at the start.

I don't think I need to make a rash decision at this stage as we are still at the whole having fun, see what the other one is about, getting to know more about what is being the person stage.

"Nobody knows if things will last, they can only hope they do" --> Bertie Ahern, interview before the last general election.