Chat up lines

Qualm

These are quite bad, yet I know a guy who actually uses them. God have mercy on us all. Actually, to be fair, some of them are kinda funny....

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking
to you.
7. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
8. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
9. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
10. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
11. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
12. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light
switch away.
13. Are those real?
14. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
15. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for
that thing you do with your tongue.
16. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
17. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
18. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
19. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
20. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
21. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
22. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
23. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
24. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
25. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
26. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
27. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
28. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we
could do it in public.
29. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?
30. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.
31. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
32. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
33. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this
cheap motel room.
34. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet
clothes.

As an ear wearing woman, id shoot any guy who thought he'd get anywhere with these!

Coffee

Am I still registered here???

Yes.

[This message has been edited by Coffee (edited 04-08-2001).]

rymus

35. Nice shoes, wanna fu<k?

Victor

OK, one of the girls had pulled, 7 of us go back to the flat. Girl disappears into bathroom to 'tidy herself up'.

Pulled guy then uses toilets. He comes back to the living room, complaining about the "bloody smell of deoderant in the bathroom" ... doesn't get anywhere for a loooooong time.

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Kill, kill, kill the laser mice.

entropi

I got loads of them in an e-mail about a month ago, i'll post the lot here and edit the bad words if there are any to understandable ones.

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That island has freedom written all over it" Sir, that's Cuba. [url="HTTP://WWW.thesimpsons.com"]look at that smithers!![/url]

entropi

fook it, must have deleted them.

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That island has freedom written all over it" Sir, that's Cuba. [url="HTTP://WWW.thesimpsons.com"]look at that smithers!![/url]

leeroybrown

D'you anything about jewels love,
Well suck my co<k, it's a real gem.

Moog

So tell me, what exactly is Greek Anal?