a milder form of nonsense

el_tiddlero

THE PRINCE AND THE PEAR

The prince and the pear one afternoon
Were sitting down to tea
When up ran a mouse as big as a house
Bouncing gleefully
I’ve done it, I’ve done it, I’ve finally done it
The massive mouse did rant
I’ve opened wide and swallowed whole
An entire elephant
Both prince and pear leapt to their feet
And saw that it was true
Within the mouse, they saw well housed
An elephant from the zoo
And then from his pocket he did pull a rocket
To fly them all to the moon
And inside it got frightfully hot
Although there was plenty of room
They flew through the stars and stopped off on mars
For a lunch of spinach and spam
And to return, for they’d no fuel to burn
Required them to wait on a tram
And as it arrived, much to their surprise
The mouse was too big to get on
But some liquids he drank and they watched as he shrank
The girth that he carried all gone
For the prince and the pear, it was too much to bear
All this chopping and changing of size
The pear felt bruised and the poor prince confused
As it happened in front of their eyes
And so back they flew, without much ado
To the place where they did belong
And the pear played the flute as the prince sat quite mute
And the mouse told it all in a song
And when he had done, he left at a run
Heading for Timbuktu
Outrunning the time to be spent for his crime
Of eating elephants straight off the zoo!

BEAT

cute,
is this your own work?

el_tiddlero

yeah sure is, i've only done one or two things like this, they're good fun though, a break from my normal outraged with the state of humanity stuff.... you can get carried away with the negative so every so often i try to do something farcical and fun just to create something nice for the world.... hmm, delusions of grandeur perhaps, i hate talking about my own stuff.. thanks for reading it tho!!!

BEAT

it's very good actually. It is like something you would read in a childrens book...perhaps you should think of getting more of this material and putting one together

MojoMaker

I agree, it's excellent.

hada

Fantastic. I've always admired writers who can write with such a fluency and ease. Brillaint.

el_tiddlero

hmm, i'm blushing, thanks... yeah kids stories are something i've thought about a lot, its a tough market to crack though. i have one other finsihed piece like it so i suppose i'll put it here now so you can check it out... this one is more for grown ups though.......

THE QUEEN’S EGGS

“The indignity of it all” cried the king to his men
“One requires a boiled egg and one hasn’t a hen
Prithee go find me one, be thee ever keen
For the egg must be boiled and brought to my Queen”
So off the men scurried, as fast as they could
Some uptown, some down, some went into the wood
And pray what did they find there? You never will guess
But the Queen and the butler in a state of undress,
“Oh General, Oh Captain,” the Queen did exclaim
“You must not tell a soul I say, in the King’s name”
They glanced at each other, and readied their swords,
“The King an’ you my love, are gonna ‘ave words”
But in the blink of an eye the lady was gone
And her lover-come-butler had played tag-along
For it was he who committed treason most foul
Digging palace gardens with his personal trowel.
The King would have their heads if they were captured alive
But they knew for each other they had to survive
As arrows peppered his body, he looked to the Queen
And as his heart broke she unleashed a scream
“Oh Captain, Oh General, I owe you my life
Tis fair high treason to kill the King’s wife”
And as the butler keeled over, trying to die
She looked to the guards with a glint in her eye
And two knives she pulled from each of her breasts
So before the men knew it they were stuck in their chests
Off the Queen ran to get back into bed
To holler “Bring me mine egg, and make sure its boil-ed”

Ba_barbaraAnne

Fantastic! You a fan of Edward Lear?

el_tiddlero

nope, never heard of him... i presume i should check him out??? same sort of stuff is it??

humbleCounty

quality,