damn squirrels

dannyd20

Comes with a Warning : Joke may be hazardous to your health.

This squirrel walks into a pub, goes straight up to the counter and asks the barman for a pint of stout.
The barman is taken aback "I'm sorry we don't serve any animals in this establishment, never mind squirrels."
"Ah g'wan," says the squirrel, "I'll drink my pint quietly and then go, OK?"
B: "I don't know..."
S: "Ah go on, I won't tell anyone and you'll hardly know I'm here."
B: "One pint?"
Squirrel nods.
Barman smiles to himself and shakes his head as he pours the pint.
The squirrel slowly and quietly drinks his pint so that the barman has forgotten completely about it when the squirrel asks for another.
"Well, you were so quiet I'll give you one more, but that's it,"says the barman.
"You're a fine man, thanks, that's great," says the squirrel,his eyes gleaming slightly.
A short while later the barman hears a little thump and looking in the direction it came from he see a half-empty pint of stout. He looks over the counter to see the squirrel staggering towards the door. The barman laughs to himself and goes back to work.
Suddenly there is a thump at the door and the squirrel comes swaying back in and starts walking around the bar.
"What do you want now?", asks the barman crossly.
"I'm lookin'," says the squirrel.
"Looking for what?" asks the barman.
"My keys," says the squirrel.
"Why are you looking for your keys?" asks the barman.
The squirrel looks up at the barman saying: "I'm locked out of my tree."

Victor

I saw squirrels in Central Park, New York. One guy was big into Pizza - but would only eat the cheese.

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Kill, kill, kill the laser mice.