Trains

BlitzKrieg

Ok i aint good at jokes But i do h8 trains alot so i wanna hear all your jokes which have any link with trains or some stupid train story or something stupid about trains.


To start the ball rolling here something i saw in Heuston station:

"I was leaving on the 5:30 train and was looking out aT hueston i saw this sign in the middle of the tracks. And ****ed myself laughing as i saw it.

Picture of a train

"Beware Trains"

underneath it (something like this anyway):

"There is a probbility that you will be hit by a train in this area"

This is like in the middle of all the tracks with like 10 trains parked all around it i mean someone must have been stupid enough to be hit by one and sue so they put this sign up?


Also

on trains your chances of missing the toilet while the mail urinates is increased by 20%

and in my opinion by 40* when near balleybrophy.

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People of the Boards

I have a cunning plan

and before u ask how cunning

just trust me its cunning

oooo thats cunning

LegacyUser

heheh

TheWolf

Jimmy and his ****ing train

Little Jimmy is sat in the lounge with a circular train set. He watches the train go round and round for a few minutes, stops it by a little wooden station and says "Any of you fúckers want to get off, then get off. Any of you fúckers want to get on, then get on". He then sets the train off, round and round the track.
Jimmy's mum is in the kitchen ironing. She hears what he has just said and cant believe her ears. She waits for a few minutes to try and decode what to do.
Back in the lounge, Jimmy stops the train at the station again. "Any of you fúckers want to get off, then get off. Any of you fúckers want to get on, then get on".
On hearing this the second time, Jimmy's mum storms into the lounge. "Jimmy," she shouts, "that language is absolutely disgusting, I will not have you swearing like that in my home. Go up to your room and think about what you have said."
Jimmy, looking dejected and upset, slopes off up to his room. After a twenty minutes, Jimmy's mum decides that she may have been to harsh on him. After all, he's only five, it's probably something he's heard the older boys say, and doesn't know what it means. She calls him down. "Now Jimmy, you must promise mummy that you wont use language like that again. Its very bad, and no one will like you if you say thinks like that." Jimmy says he is sorry and goes back to his train set.
He watches it go round and round a couple of times, stops it by the wooden station, and says. "Any of you people want to get off, then get off. Any of you people want to get on, then get on. And if any of you people want to know why this train is twenty minutes late, go and ask the cúnt in the kitchen"

Well, there was a train in there somewhere...

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"A man works hard to keep the wolf from the door. Then his daughter grows up and brings one home..."

[This message has been edited by TheWolf (edited 25-07-2001).]

BlitzKrieg

Are u sure u got the last part right i thought jimmy says it nicely then makes the comment on the ****???

---

People of the Boards

I have a cunning plan

and before u ask how cunning

just trust me its cunning

oooo thats cunning

TheWolf

Damn, your right. Sorry bout that, was trying to type as fast as possible...

BlitzKrieg