New Drive-Thru ATM System

phobos

A Bank is installing new "Drive-thru" cash point machines, customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable users to use this new facility, the following procedures have been drawn up.


MALE PROCEDURE
1 Drive up to the cash machine.
2 Wind down your car window.
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6 Wind up window.
7 Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE
1 Drive up to cash machine.
2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine.
3 Re-start the stalled engine.
4 Wind down the window.
5 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
6 Turn the radio down.
7 Attempt to insert card into machine.
8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
9 Insert card.
10 Re-insert card the right way up.
11 Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
12 Enter PIN.
13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
14 Enter amount of cash required.
15 Check make-up in rear view mirror.
16 Retrieve cash and receipt.
17 Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
18 Place receipt in back of cheque book.
19 Re-check make-up again.
20 Drive forwards 2 meters.
21 Reverse back to cash machine.
22 Retrieve card.
23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
24 Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25 Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
26 Smell burning - release handbrake.

;-phobos-)

red_ice

lol, its funny coz its true

Red.

Enygma

1 Drive up to cash machine.
2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine.
3 Re-start the stalled engine.
4 Wind down the window.
5 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
6 Turn the radio down.
7 Attempt to insert card into machine.
8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
9 Insert card.
9.1 Remove Dunnes Stores Clubcard
9.2 Insert Bank Card
10 Re-insert card the right way up.
11 Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
12 Enter PIN.
13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13.1 Go through *every* fsckin option on the screen
13.2 Card pops out, put it back in
13.3 Repeat steps 12 & 13
14 Enter amount of cash required.
15 Check make-up in rear view mirror.
16 Retrieve cash and receipt.
17 Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
18 Place receipt in back of cheque book.
19 Re-check make-up again.
20 Drive forwards 2 meters.
21 Reverse back to cash machine.
22 Retrieve card.
23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
24 Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25 Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
26 Smell burning - release handbrake.

smoke.me.a.kipper

heheh. pld.