Lightbulb Jokes

TheWolf

LIGHTBULB JOKES (Old, but still classics...)

Q: How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: None. That's a hardware problem.
A2: One, but if he changes it, the whole building will probably fall down.
A3: Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.
 
Q: How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None. That's a software problem.
A2: None. That's just marketing to portray the dead bulb feature.
 
Q: How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 472. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write
WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle...

Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn
out, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the
bulbs work smarter, not harder.

Q: How many MIS guys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: MIS has received your request concerning your hardware problem, and has
assigned your request Service Number 39712. Please use this number for any
future reference to this light bulb issue. As soon as a technician becomes
available, you will be contacted.

Q: How many WordPerfect support technicians does it take to change a light
bulb?
A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working
fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Ok. Now, exactly how
dark is it? Ok, there could be four or five things wrong. . . have you tried
the light switch?

Q: How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: two holding the ladder and one to screw the bulb into a tap.

Q: How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eight: one to work the bulb and seven to make sure Microsoft gets $2 for
every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

Q: How many testers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We just noticed the room was dark; we don't actually fix the problems.

Q: How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The light bulb works fine on the system in my office . . .

Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb object
would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you'd
have to do is send a light bulb change message.

Q: How many shipping dept. personnel does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can change the bulb in 7-10 working days; if you call before 2pm and
pay an extra $15 we can get the bulb changed overnight.

Q: How long does it take a DEC repairman to change a light bulb?
A: It depends on how many burnt-out lightbulbs he brought with him.

Q: How many Windows users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but s/he'll swear up and down that it was JUST as easy for him as it
would be for a Macintosh user.

Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(tm) as the new industry
standard.

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"Only two things are infinite,
the universe and stupidity, and
I'm not sure about the former."

Albert Einstein

"Never argue with idiots. They just drag you down to their level, where they have all the experience"

TheWolf

Ri-ra

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. It's too small.

Oh yeah

It's been done.


Some of those weren't bad TheWolf.


How many Irishmen?

**** it we'll drink in the dark.

How many bass players?
-None, the keyboardist can do it with his left hand.
-Just leave it out, no one will notice.

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Life is like a pyrotechnics display. You've got to stand back and let it happen, othwerwise you're are sincerely bollocked....

thegreensock.com

Can you feel the love?

frood4t2

How many dyslexics does a light bulb screw in to take?

How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
6, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

frood4t2

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frood4t2
3stooges@mags.net

Bard

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by frood4t2:
How many dyslexics does a light bulb screw in to take?
</font>

Correct me if I'm wrong but that isn't funny, nor is it a good example of dyslexia.



[This message has been edited by Bard (edited 09-07-2001).]

Red Moose

Give him a break....it's right up there with:

"Two dyslexics walk into a bra...."

phobos

Wolf,

That is the funnyest stuff I've read all week. I have heard several versions of the "lightbulb" jokes, but nothing related to IT ppl.

GWAN Wolf!

;-phobos-)

The Clown Man

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but only if it really WANTS to change.

Btw i lmao at the dyslexic ones - bad or not

And wolf the support technicion one is classic

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You know... call me pessimistic but i always thought it would end up this way...