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Confession, and Gambling

  • 30-06-2001 12:25pm
    #1
    Bomberman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 300 ✭✭


    lol nice 1 daly, hows the *****?


Comments

  • #2
    TheWolf
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 801 ✭✭✭TheWolf


    you better hope I dont run into you sometime soon, dell! or Jennifer for that matter, she would slap the head off ya! this is the humour section, not irc...
    "Only two things are infinite,
    the universe and stupidity, and
    I'm not sure about the former."

    Albert Einstein

    "Never argue with idiots. They just drag you down to their level, where they have all the experience"

    TheWolf


  • #3
    entropi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,730 ✭✭✭✭entropi


    the gambling one... biggrin.gif, the other... smile.gif nice 1
    "that island has freedom written all over it, sir, that's cuba"


  • #4
    TheWolf
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 801 ✭✭✭TheWolf


    "Father, yesterday I made love to my wife"
    The priest explained that there was nothing wrong with that.
    "But Father, I did it with...lust."
    Again the priest reassured the man that it was no sin.
    "But Father, it was the middle of the day."
    The priest was growing uncomfortable with the description but assured his parishioner that it was a natural act for man and wife.
    " But Father, it was just sheer passion. As she leant over the deep freeze I just jumped on her and we did it on the floor. Am I banned from the church?"
    "Of course not," said the exasperated priest.
    "Oh good. We're both banned from Tesco's"

    A punter would bank £1000 every Monday morning so regularly that finally the bank managers curiosity got the better of him. Where did he get the money?
    "I'm a gambler" explained the customer, but I only bet on sure things." Intrisgued, the banker pressed him for an example of a "sure thing". "Easy" said the gambler. "I'l bet you £1000 that your wearing red jocks. Thats a sure bet for a start." The bank manager can barely believe his ears, so he slaps the money on the counter and says "Your on". "Okay then, drop your trousers so I can check," said the gambler. "Not here" said the bank manager, "come into my office." Once inside the bank manager said "there you are, definitley not red." "Not good enough", said the gambler "they look red to me, but I will take an unbiased opinion. Your friend Charlie Smithers is outside in the lobby. Call him in and I'll accept his opinion. When Charlie came in the gambler asked "what do you think, Charlie?" But Charlie had fainted. "Whats up with him?" asked the manager. "Oh, I bet him £2000 I'd have your trousers off before 10 this morning."
    "Only two things are infinite,
    the universe and stupidity, and
    I'm not sure about the former."

    Albert Einstein

    "Never argue with idiots. They just drag you down to their level, where they have all the experience"

    TheWolf


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