Getting too excited around girls?

LegacyUser

Hi, I've just turned 18 and I'm doing my leaving. I have a problem with getting too sexually excited around girls. I've been having this problem since i was 13 and it's been worse than ever over the last year. Whenever i'm in a group conversation and an attractive female joins in, i instantly lose the ability to converse intelligently and get taken over by sexual impulses and get a full-on erection. I always have to wear baggy jumpers and track-pants so as it's easier to hide my excitement, even jeans are a no-go area for me. I have tried deep breathing and thinking about something else, but this takes a lot of concentration and rarely even works.

When an attractive girl chats to me face to face, the problem is even worse. My sexual impulses go into overdrive, and i am not able to conversate intelligently in the slightest, so much so that i am not even able to follow a simple conversation I usually make my excuses and leave the conversation. This has lead the girls to believe that i am a shy individual, altough this is not me at all.

In class i have to sit right up front near the teacher, because i know that if an attractive girl is in sight, I will have this problem for the duration of the class, and will not be able to concentrate on my studies. Even just knowing that an attractive girl is sitting two rows behind me can throw me off my studies. Earlier in life having female teachers would cause me to not be able to concentrate at all, but i have been able to choose my subjects after junior cert so as to have only male teachers.

Even though i am considered fairly attractive, i have had very little sexual contact in my life. This again is due to my problem, not being able to converse on a normal social level with girls. I have "made-out" with girls, but only in disco/bar situations, when set up by mates. 4 times the excitement has been so great that i have ejaculated while simply fresh-kissing a girl.

I know that women are human just like me, and would love to simply be able to be friends with girls. But this is impossible for me due to my problem. I haven't been able to strike up a friendship with a girl since i was about 11. People think how it's weird that i'm so quiet around girls and think that i'm a real shy lad. But this is not the case, i am simply too sexually overwhelmed to talk to them. It's not just "stunning babes" that do this to me, a lot of girls that my mates describe as "mingers" i find extremely beautiful and overwhelm me just as much as those considered "stunners". I have never heard of anyone with my problem before, and have never told anyone before, for fear of riddicule.

All opinions/help/advice would be very much appreciated, thanks.

eth0_

It might be a hormonal imbalance, you could try talking to your GP, as it does sound a bit extreme!

uum

I apologise in advance but have about 10 w*nks a day.
It really will cure you. Fact.
Sorry again for being vulgar

karlh

lol.

sorry but does'nt sound like anything to worry about. hormones are great and sounds like you need to dip the wick. try flicking one over the thumb before you talk to these females to take the edge off a bit.

I am MAN

normal_teen wrote:

Hi, I've just turned 18 and I'm doing my leaving. I have a problem with getting too sexually excited around girls. I've been having this problem since i was 13 and it's been worse than ever over the last year. Whenever i'm in a group conversation and an attractive female joins in, i instantly lose the ability to converse intelligently and get taken over by sexual impulses and get a full-on erection. I always have to wear baggy jumpers and track-pants so as it's easier to hide my excitement, even jeans are a no-go area for me. I have tried deep breathing and thinking about something else, but this takes a lot of concentration and rarely even works.

When an attractive girl chats to me face to face, the problem is even worse. My sexual impulses go into overdrive, and i am not able to conversate intelligently in the slightest, so much so that i am not even able to follow a simple conversation I usually make my excuses and leave the conversation. This has lead the girls to believe that i am a shy individual, altough this is not me at all.

In class i have to sit right up front near the teacher, because i know that if an attractive girl is in sight, I will have this problem for the duration of the class, and will not be able to concentrate on my studies. Even just knowing that an attractive girl is sitting two rows behind me can throw me off my studies. Earlier in life having female teachers would cause me to not be able to concentrate at all, but i have been able to choose my subjects after junior cert so as to have only male teachers.

Even though i am considered fairly attractive, i have had very little sexual contact in my life. This again is due to my problem, not being able to converse on a normal social level with girls. I have "made-out" with girls, but only in disco/bar situations, when set up by mates. 4 times the excitement has been so great that i have ejaculated while simply fresh-kissing a girl.

I know that women are human just like me, and would love to simply be able to be friends with girls. But this is impossible for me due to my problem. I haven't been able to strike up a friendship with a girl since i was about 11. People think how it's weird that i'm so quiet around girls and think that i'm a real shy lad. But this is not the case, i am simply too sexually overwhelmed to talk to them. It's not just "stunning babes" that do this to me, a lot of girls that my mates describe as "mingers" i find extremely beautiful and overwhelm me just as much as those considered "stunners". I have never heard of anyone with my problem before, and have never told anyone before, for fear of riddicule.

All opinions/help/advice would be very much appreciated, thanks.

Not joking but keep an eye on this over the years because its how alot of rapists feel early on

koneko

I am MAN wrote:

Not joking but keep an eye on this over the years because its how alot of rapists feel early on

This is helpful how exactly?

"I get really turned on when I'm around girls"
"You might be a rapist, watch yourself!"

Beruthiel

I am MAN wrote:

Not joking but keep an eye on this over the years because its how alot of rapists feel early on

frighten the life out of him why don't ya?
comments like this are not welcome in here :mad:

OP
if you consider it a problem, then why not have a talk with your doctor?

uum might also have a point!

you are at that time when your hormones are all over the shop, so eth0_ makes a good point too.
as you get older, things will settle down.

Ste.phen

aah boards, where the answer to a serious personal question is "Have a ****"



(btw, i agree :P)

WhiteWashMan

I am MAN wrote:

Not joking but keep an eye on this over the years because its how alot of rapists feel early on

thats kind of interesting.

can you post up some links to the research onthis?

i just find it a bit stragne that i havent managed to rape anyone (through lack of trying let me tell you) and yet, i spent all of my teenage years with a constant erection, unable to talk to anyone female.

sounds pretty normal to me. take the advice to **** a lot. at least enjoy it while its there

Antisocialiser

Give roxanne a shout

I am MAN

mwahahah I lied I was joking, was just trying to freak him out a bit.

On a serious note...do the **** thing and enjoy your overly high libido while it lasts because some day you may not have an errection, treat everyday like your last!

Beruthiel

Antisocialiser wrote:

Give roxanne a shout

read this forums charter
B

Jonny Arson

Normal Teen good news for you .... its wankfest 2005!


Seriously though I would advice you to go to see your GP just to check things out. When I was in my early teens I used to be sort of the same in terms of struggling to talk to girls but now I actually feel more confortable around the lasses than the lads but I never did have the sexual difficulties you were having. I know its easy to say this just do your best to chill out around the girls or maybe even have a horrible image in your head of a dead person covered in vomit or something disgusting like that to take your mind off your urges.

Zillah

Its all been said. Masturbate and/or go to a doctor!

I suppose this is a really private question but, how often do you? It's not strange for an 18yo to do it several times a day, so if your only at it once every few days or less then your 18 year old libido is gonna be in overdrive.

ixus

just have a 'Something about Mary' before you get up in the morning, before you head out or whatever and you should be grand.
don't worry about it man....
put a hole in one of your pockets....jk!

uum

Jees im still at it 10 times a day. Really need to find abird to do it for me! Dont worry mate, guess what - you're normal!!

cajun_tiger

ok i know of this guy and he's hads a fair amout of sex and masterbates also,everytime he speaks to this 1 girl he gets turned on, its everytime his on the phone or when he see's her.. he even gets turned on at the idea of meeting up with her(as they are just friends this why there is a problem)

what he does now is w@nks before he meets up with her after phone calls ect.. up to 4 or 5 times a day..

so just enjoy it and get on with your day

po0k

Blatant troll.

Sangre

What the hell people? How the hell is this normal?
Ejaculation while kissing a girl? This isn't not normal and although the thought is highly embarrassing perhaps talking to a doctor is in order? Imo this is a comibination between high libido and low self esteem resulting from it.
Any problems Ive had of the sort are the un-expected and un-announced ones that leave me in an akward scenario even though uncaused by sexual thoughts...can be quite uncomfortable. Try a loose pants/tight underwear approach.

Try making yourself have 2 **** in the morning every day and more whenevver you can, see what happens.

Gone West

sure ask some of the girls that your friends call mingers out. you think theyre "beautiful" so why not? A good woman should sort ya out.

LegacyUser

thanks for all support and advice. it's much appreciated.

I'm not going to the doctor, I'm 100% there is nothing physically wrong with me. I have a very powerful libido, and have always had, there is nothing unhealthy about it. It is just socially awkward for me.

The idea of **** myself fridgid as suggested by some members may sound good, but it is a totally impractical one. It is an ineffective cure, many times i have done it in an effort to quinch my sexual desires, but i still get totally aroused when dealing with females, strangely enough sometimes even more so. Also, due to my leaving cert studies, i simply don't have the time.

Somebody suggest i ask one of the "mingers" out, as having a relationship would help my problem. I'm afraid this would be near impossible, due to my high libido i would be unable to have normal conversations or do any normal boyfriend/girlfriend activities. When with a girl my mind gets consumed with SEX SEX SEX. A normal relationship would be out of the question.

Somebody else said (jokingly or not) that they fear i may become a sexual predator later in life. This will never happen, I have respect for all people and would NEVER hurt anybody, especially a woman.

Talliesin

normal_teen wrote:

a lot of girls that my mates describe as "mingers" i find extremely beautiful

That sounds like there is at least one way in which you have a healthier and better integrated sexuality than many of your peers. Many lads your age have very little idea what truly find attractive in people (or even what sex they find attractive) but since robust heterosexual expression is required by peer-pressure they spend a great deal of their time splitting members of the opposite sex into "mingers" and "stunners". Really, anyone taking a checklist-based approach to matters of sexual attraction hasn't actually matured in this aspect of their psyche yet. And of course about 10% of the time when they do finally mature in this way they realise they actually fancy blokes anyway.

While this is obviously good for the career of someone like Pamela Anderson who gets all the checklist points (big breasts, blonde hair) but isn't particularly attractive as a sex symbol, it's going to be a bit alienating for you.

As for getting over-excited, the best cure for that is just to work on enjoying the company of women, both as friends and, if you're ready for it, as sexual partners (as a rough guide you should probably have more friends than sexual partners though ). While that's obviously not going to be easy the fact that you aren't making quick minger/stunner classifications means that in one way at least you are at an advantage there.

Hell when I was in my late teens I'd get an erection when an attractive girl or an attractive boy was around.

Wolf

Seroiously thought Its been said once, but, Ill say it again become a marathon wanker. When I was a bit younger before going out Id relieve myself 3/4 times in a row. I mean with my now girl friend I used to get wood just sitting around watching TV with her and im 25.

Do you ever think that maybe the fact that you expect it kinda makes the whole thing worse? I used to find that worrying about something like this can make it worse. Well just a point

Also, as for boners jeans are a very good idea. Im not the smallest in that area nor am I the biggest enough to say hiding it can be a problem (flamers/trolls leave it!). The point is when he pops up just turn him round so he goes straight up kinda pinned down by the top of your jeans and that way no one seems to notice. Also, when kissing a girl and what not and you get one don't worry about it most girls I know don't seem to mind to much a long as you don't poke em loads with it, well untill they want you to

Only last thing I can think of is maybe try mental tricks. I know for me thinking of soccer seems to work and when I really want to hold on try Tony Adams on a cold day :eek: Basicaly try puting things in your mind to turn you off.

All in all with plenty of release which you will need it will get better pretty quickly in time. Don't forget tho that masturbation is very normal and you do need to do it the more build up the more need. But in time this problem will lessen and in your late twenties you will probably be a sex god, lucky git

Good luck.

PS Maybe try getting some porn as well might help desensitise you a bit.

WhiteWashMan

you know wolf, there are times when less information is better.

tosser

Wolf

I just want him to know that he not the only one and stuff...... I mean... well ah bugger why was I born a such a goon

bigman

i concur!
dont worry bout it jus have more confidence and less worry(i know its easy to say)and the w@nkin thing helps!
I reall should get out more!