Your top relationship advice

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,
I'm just wondering, if you could give someone advice/tips on how to have a really great relationship, what would they be?

I am currently in a brand new relationship myself, I'm crazy about the guy and I really hope he likes me as much. (though we've met up 7 times now, 4 of which were my idea...I can't wait for him to suggest it so I do it instead... god I'm way too keen!).

LegacyUser

Why are you saying "I hope he likes me as much..."??

If he is any way proper, you shouldn't have to doubt him, it's early days yet.

vibrant

newgirl wrote:

... god I'm way too keen!...

Best advice: Chill! Yes, you're delighted, you're keen - but *whoa* just relax and let things happen

Souperfreak

You are a bit keen but a great relationship book is Men are from Mars Women are from Venus.

I just read it and it really helped my young marriage, I think it is good at any stage of a relationship.

Sleepy

Don't over-analyse things. The more you worry or think about something, the more likely you are to imagine problems that don't actually exist.

pickarooney

Same advice as for stand-up comedy - always leave 'em wanting more.

Sleepy

Souperfreak wrote:

You are a bit keen but a great relationship book is Men are from Mars Women are from Venus.

I just read it and it really helped my young marriage, I think it is good at any stage of a relationship.

Just a note on that: all John Gray offers is some common sense and a lot of hokum. He is not a real doctor and his advice should not be considered to be medically sound. His own marriage ended in divorce and his "degrees" are from a degree mill that was shut down by the US Government.

http://www.wayneandtamara.com/johngray.htm

[Jackass]

Just chill and enjoy it....if you're over analysing everything...if you look hard enough for a problem, you'll find one! Even if it only exists in your head!!
Just text him when you want, call him when you want, meet him when you want, enjoy it, don't over think it!

LeperKing

Once you're in the honeymoon part of your relationship, promise to eachother that neither one will call the thing off without discussing what problems he/she may have.

This should avoid sudden breakups.

LK

WhiteWashMan

well, im not too keen on the 'leave them wanting more' or the 'relax' advice.

id say two things,

always be yourself. becuase its you that you want them to fall in love with, not some false facade.
this mean is you want to see him, then see him. if youa re keen to meet up, meet up. why should you deny yourself some meet up time? becuase you think it will make him like you better? rubbish. blokes go through the same thing. they dont want to look too keen, want to play it cool. and they are stupid. if you like someone, tell them, go out with them, make love to them if you want, buy him flowers. if a guy isnt into that, then chances are you werent going to live happy ever after.
pretending to be someone else is why so many couples split up and dont last. because eventually, you find out that you dont like the real person you are with. such a waste of time.

always be open
always tell the truth, always be honest. it will make a relationship less frustrating.
the number one reason for a guy to have a 'stupid fight' which women never seem to understand, is becuase a guy is frustrated and disappointed with himself.
you know those fights where you say something and he snaps back. guys have a habit of not telling *all* the truth. so if someone brings it up, he gets a little defensive, because he feels like its being pushed in his face. being defensive makes him snap, and then theres a row over nothing.
anyone here familiar with the 'row over nothing' scenario?
its coz guys really fúcking suck at being honest.

except for my ex who was just a cow, and it *was* always her fault:)


so.

be yourself.
be honest and open.

neuro-praxis

What Wise Old Sage WWM said. But, in your keenness, don't let your friendships fade into the background of this exciting new person. And don't let yourself fade into the background either.

dudara

its coz guys really fúcking suck at being honest.

now that's true.

if this relationship is going to work, you always have to be honest. Say what you're thinking, not what you think he wants to hear.

I've kept a lot of stuff inside me from my bf cause I thought he didn't want to hear it. Nothing bad, I just always thought that if I mentioned the future or kids that he'd run a mile. turns out that was what he wanted all along, it nearly cost me everything.

So while you're nowhere near the stage of losing a 5 year relationship, do be honest and open.

pickarooney

Guys wouldn't suck at being honest if they could trust women not to
a) bring up whatever they say six months later
b) twist what they say to make them look bad

Buying flowers for a guy is just weird for me. I have a mate who loves getting flowers, and his girlfriend hates getting them. But I still think it's weird.

kittenkiller

treat your new boyfriend like exactly that: a new friend who's a boy that you fancy!

you'd only expect a new friend to open up once they're fully comfortable & know that what they want to say isn't going to offend you. don't push things.

he's a boy so there's really no need to ask his advice on eyeshadow colours or ask his opinion on 'the state of that one's hair' (if she's got big boobs then her hair doesn't really matter that much as she walks by).

you fancy him so be sure to let him know!!! (no need to throw yourself at him in a stalker-esque fashion though). everyone likes to be complimented & to feel attractive.
try to be subtle-ish though.

relax & enjoy the attention & boring your friends stupid with all the 'he said this & he said that's'.

relationships are meant to be fun, if he doesn't make you smile (except for any reason other than he's havin a particularly crappy day) keep your eye open for someone who does!

Souperfreak

I realise he is not a doctor and his relationship ended in divorce but I still thought book had a lot of great things to say about a relationship. It may be 'common sense' but sometimes emotions need to have a reminder of 'common sense'.

The book was good regardless of his own personal relationship and his 'degree'.

WhiteWashMan

Sleepy wrote:

Just a note on that: all John Gray offers is some common sense and a lot of hokum. He is not a real doctor and his advice should not be considered to be medically sound. His own marriage ended in divorce and his "degrees" are from a degree mill that was shut down by the US Government.

regardless, it is a book that i think any couple intending to have a serious relationship, and mature enough to realise that everybody farts in bed, should read.

i agree that it offers commen sense advice, but more interestingly, it offers reasons why things can happen. and why things can be different.

as for his marriage ending in failure, i fail to see any significance or connection. the book is not a guide, and no book will ever have the scope to cover the huge range of issues that beset a relationship. it is simply a book on how men and women differ.

Pataman

I was always told " you have 2 ears but only 1 mouth, use them in that order"