Sex related problem Caution

Wolf

I know this isn't a medical board, but, then again I don't seem to have anything medical wrong with me so I just need some advice. Please if you can help.

Ok heres the thing.

Recenctly I started seeing this new girl, shes absolutly stunning other people think so, even tho that doesnt matter to me, but, that fact that shes is very actractive kinda fits into the story.

Thing is recently we were just making out and kinda heavy petting, notthing to climax (dry riding tho clothes). I found that after these sessions we were having I had trouble becoming erect again after she had left for you know the slef made finish. This for me is very stange as Im quite excitable, but, still I think no big deal. Also, I should add hear that once I do manage to climax its very, bvery heavy way heavier than anything recent years have seen.

Then last night we slept together for the first time. Now first off basically I found that I couldn't stay erect with a comdom on. Again I have had quite a few sexual experiences and this has never been a problem. I know I can just get slim comdoms, but, why all of a sudden am I finding it hard to keep it stiff for one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen.

Oh yeah other info is that we hooked up on monday and have been see each other all week, but, Iv know her now about 6/7 weeks.

I hope someone can shed some light on why this might be happening as im stumped and care for this girl a very great deal.

Beruthiel

read this thread, the answers will be the same

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=226604

landser

it's nerves. this woman is a babe and sounds as tho you might be batting out of your league and it's effecting you're performance. relax and have a jar or two before you do anything. happens to us all..... apparently

btw, you sure you meant to put this in under your username?

tinkerbell

Tiz probably just nerves since she is "absolutely stunning". The problem will probably fix itself once you get more relaxed around her.

Wolf

landser wrote:

it's nerves. this woman is a babe and sounds as tho you might be batting out of your league and it's effecting you're performance. relax and have a jar or two before you do anything. happens to us all..... apparently

btw, you sure you meant to put this in under your username?

I though about signing out, but, basically im just too lazy and not that shy i guess

Beruthiel thanks, but, im not sure I have the same problem as that other guy.

You see im 25 now and have slept with say about more than a few women. Some of them have been very, very pretty as well. Like I said I have never experienced anything like this ever before not even remotely.

Normally, if anything I can't keep the dammed thing down. Even when im with her just rolling around its fine and we had sex that was good great infact, but, I had to take the comdom off, like I said beofore obviously I just have to get some slimmer comdoms, but, I find its stange when im imagining her I was finding hard to masterbate not to climax, but, to saty alert.

My point is that I feel very comfortable with her and while I feel very lucky to be with her at the same time for some mad stange reason quite a few girls find me quite actractive (there all mad im sure) so that thing of out of my league isn't a problem. Hell if im been really honest I kinda reckon im not that bad at pleasing a girl so there no nerves there. She seemed quite happy with thing last night as well If its that im nervous where are these nerves coming from I ask ?

joedublinka

Wolf wrote:

I though about signing out, but, basically im just too lazy and not that shy i guess

Beruthiel thanks, but, im not sure I have the same problem as that other guy.

You see im 25 now and have slept with say about more than a few women. Some of them have been very, very pretty as well. Like I said I have never experienced anything like this ever before not even remotely.

Normally, if anything I can't keep the dammed thing down. Even when im with her just rolling around its fine and we had sex that was good great infact, but, I had to take the comdom off, like I said beofore obviously I just have to get some slimmer comdoms, but, I find its stange when im imagining her I was finding hard to masterbate not to climax, but, to saty alert.

My point is that I feel very comfortable with her and while I feel very lucky to be with her at the same time for some mad stange reason quite a few girls find me quite actractive (there all mad im sure) so that thing of out of my league isn't a problem. Hell if im been really honest I kinda reckon im not that bad at pleasing a girl so there no nerves there. She seemed quite happy with thing last night as well If its that im nervous where are these nerves coming from I ask ?

try taking some viagra. then later when the nerves go u wont need it.

Beruthiel

joedublinka wrote:

try taking some viagra. then later when the nerves go u wont need it.

this is not a medical forum and you are not a doctor, please do not suggest taking drugs to another poster
B

Sleepy

You say that you've known her for 6/7 years, could this be happening because somewhere in your mind you still see this girl as a friend rather than a partner?

Or are you using those new Durex performa condoms that are designed to make a guy last longer? They do this by dulling sensation which as far as I can tell could also cause problems of the type you're describing.

Wolf

Look its not THAT big a rpoblem the real issue is why when fantasizing do I seem to have a problem. I mean I can understand nerves and stage fright all right, but, as I said when fantasising before I found it hard to keep it up, but, when I came its was harder than I have come from years. Also, viagra no I don't NEED it.

I was reading that other post Beruthiel sent me to. I think it might just be that im nervous in the fact that im massively over excited. Like I said I managed to perform ok. I mean a few times last night and again this morning over a resonably long time. In fact my real worry was more that I wasn't like you know hard, hard and that going for half an hour is all well and good, but, I also realise that going for 2 hours is a bit much is all.

I don'y know like I said this isn't so much about it not working its more about its not working the way it did all the other times.

Wolf

Sleepy wrote:

You say that you've known her for 6/7 years, could this be happening because somewhere in your mind you still see this girl as a friend rather than a partner?

Or are you using those new Durex performa condoms that are designed to make a guy last longer? They do this by dulling sensation which as far as I can tell could also cause problems of the type you're describing.

Soz its 6/7 weeks. Also, that is another thing recently I bought some comdoms called delay by accident and I started with one of those but quickly changed but even with a regular I was still having difficultly and then when without as I said above it was more the fact that I wasn't hard hard so I was a bit concerned about her pleasure. Also, I believe in safe sex so while last night we went without I going to have to use something in the future so hence the post really.

joedublinka

Beruthiel wrote:

this is not a medical forum and you are not a doctor, please do not suggest taking drugs to another poster
B

how do u know that i am not a doctor. for all u know i could b one. i would recommend u c ur gp who will give u a prescription for viagra or one of its competitors. the advantage of this route is u wont get 80% god knows what and 20% viagra if u buy it over the web.

Wolf

joedublinka wrote:

how do u know that i am not a doctor. for all u know i could b one. i would recommend u c ur gp who will give u a prescription for viagra or one of its competitors. the advantage of this route is u wont get 80% god knows what and 20% viagra if u buy it over the web.

Look im not taking Viagra anyway like I said my problem isn't that bad I mean I pleased her but I like to know why that edge isnt there. Also I said earlier what up with the whole masturbation thing as well ?

Beruthiel

joedublinka wrote:

how do u know that i am not a doctor..

because a doctor wouldn't come across like a 15 year old text speaker.
if you have any problem with this, PM me, I want this thread kept on topic.
consider this a warning.
I suggest you read this forums charter asap
B

AlisonB

any excuse to bicker!

meditraitor

I know a guy this happened to, he never had sex again enjoy

MojoMaker

Wolf, maybe you don't fancy her as much as you think you should. She may be stunning and all but in reality aesthetic appearance only counts for so much in the turn-on stakes. Perhaps other aspects of her body other than her pretty face just aren't hitting the spot for you, maybe she's a little unimaginative in the sack? Something is obviously putting you off

Perhaps you feel you *should* be crazy about her because she's good looking but now you're finding out it's not all it's cracked up to be and you need excitement from another quarter?

Btw - it's very common and almost exclusively an unconcious thing.

WhiteWashMan

meditraitor wrote:

I know a guy this happened to, he never had sex again enjoy

self confession?

anyway wolf. just relax, and enjoy.

skittishkitten

It seems that the problem started with you not being able to achieve desired results when you sought self relief after your heavy petting sessions. You weren't able to sustain the same level of excitement without her there to finish by yourself. When that problem presented itself I'm sure it pretty much freaked you out. It would seem that you really like this girl, maybe more than any of your others. There is nothing wrong with wanting her to be there when you finish. The fact that it's just not the same without her can be a big disappointment. But then you started to worry about your "equipement" failure which added stress and fear that it might happen again. Which in it's own vicious cycle it can and did. When you were able to finish I'm sure it was a great relief and an extreme enjoyment as you could do so thinking about her ( assuming you WERE thinking about her ), which added to the intensity of your release. Now that your into the physical act with her, I'm sure there is that lingering fear that it might happen again and that you might dissatisfy her . Your subconciously letting this worry disrupt your skills in bed. WOLF .....STOP WORRYING !! It's all good . Maybe you need to regress to a point where you don't feel the pressure to preform , take it slow and let nature take it's course. Make it all about her , give your girl that extra attention to give her pleasure ( tongues can be a wonderful thing ) . When your erect then put the condom on .....or if your comfortable with it , see if she will. Possibly the thought of her handling your equipement will excite you enough to help you sustain your erection. Basic rule here .....if he doesn't come out to play.....then he doesn't play , no half hardy reliefs or after hours pleasures until he's back to his solid self ( if you get what I mean ). Believe me a bit of denial will get its attention fast enough.

joedublinka

your worrying too much seriously. it is possible she isnt exciting u, even though she is attractive. she should b doing it for u not other way around

Wolf

MojoMaker wrote:

Wolf, maybe you don't fancy her as much as you think you should. She may be stunning and all but in reality aesthetic appearance only counts for so much in the turn-on stakes. Perhaps other aspects of her body other than her pretty face just aren't hitting the spot for you, maybe she's a little unimaginative in the sack? Something is obviously putting you off

Perhaps you feel you *should* be crazy about her because she's good looking but now you're finding out it's not all it's cracked up to be and you need excitement from another quarter?

Btw - it's very common and almost exclusively an unconcious thing.

Thruth is first time I saw her I though hmm she beautiful, however, like I said iv been around a bit now and know that the phyical is tempory and the mental is perminant. I feel for this girl for her personality perhaps even more than her looks. In fact if she wasn't as atractive Im pretty certain I would still be interseted.

As WWM says Ill just chill and enjoy it for the mo (Ta WWM) like I said its not that I can't perform its just I was concered about the level of my performance. Im also forgeting that generaly speaking sex usually gets better as people go along because you begin to understand each others needs better. Im going into town now and ill buy some feather slim comdoms while im there and see if that help.

Thank you all sincerly for taking the time to read this and respond tbh I love boards you guys really have helped my work alot of stuff out.

Sincerly Thanks Wolf

Wolf

skittishkitten wrote:

It seems that the problem started with you not being able to achieve desired results when you sought self relief after your heavy petting sessions. You weren't able to sustain the same level of excitement without her there to finish by yourself. When that problem presented itself I'm sure it pretty much freaked you out. It would seem that you really like this girl, maybe more than any of your others. There is nothing wrong with wanting her to be there when you finish. The fact that it's just not the same without her can be a big disappointment. But then you started to worry about your "equipement" failure which added stress and fear that it might happen again. Which in it's own vicious cycle it can and did. When you were able to finish I'm sure it was a great relief and an extreme enjoyment as you could do so thinking about her ( assuming you WERE thinking about her ), which added to the intensity of your release. Now that your into the physical act with her, I'm sure there is that lingering fear that it might happen again and that you might dissatisfy her . Your subconciously letting this worry disrupt your skills in bed. WOLF .....STOP WORRYING !! It's all good . Maybe you need to regress to a point where you don't feel the pressure to preform , take it slow and let nature take it's course. Make it all about her , give your girl that extra attention to give her pleasure ( tongues can be a wonderful thing ) . When your erect then put the condom on .....or if your comfortable with it , see if she will. Possibly the thought of her handling your equipement will excite you enough to help you sustain your erection. Basic rule here .....if he doesn't come out to play.....then he doesn't play , no half hardy reliefs or after hours pleasures until he's back to his solid self ( if you get what I mean ). Believe me a bit of denial will get its attention fast enough.

WOW thats pretty incitful I reckon you have hit the nail right on the head Thanks. Exactly what I needed I just needed someone to lay it out. I reckon ill be fin now thanks so much skittishkitten. Amazing!

All hail skittishkitten.

LegacyUser

Man ... how enlightening !!!!!!!!!! This person is a genius ... LOL

skittishkitten

Beruit wrote:

Man ... how enlightening !!!!!!!!!! This person is a genius ... LOL

aaaaawwwww....... your so sweet , you even hide under a guest name to insult me . :rolleyes:



~

Victor

Wolf wrote:

You see im 25 now ................ Normally, if anything I can't keep the dammed thing down.

Remember, you are no longer 16.

How else are you healthwise, are you physically fit?

I suggest a doctor visit if the problem persists.

how do u know that i am not a doctor. for all u know i could b one. i would recommend u c ur gp who will give u a prescription for viagra or one of its competitors. the advantage of this route is u wont get 80% god knows what and 20% viagra if u buy it over the web.

While I see a certain commonality between your writing skills and that of many doctors, Is uspect youa ren't one. Viagra only gives a physical response, it may not necessarily benefit this poster or any other individual.

pickarooney

Personally, I'd find a physically 'perfect' woman to be a bit of a turn-off. Weird as it might sound, the little imperfections can be very stimulating.

Wolf

To your question Vitor. Im not sporting fit not quite anymore, but, I rarely if ever get sick. Im six foot, about eleven and a half stone, slim. Yeah im in pretty good health.

Ah anyway had fun again last night (if you know what I mean ) and all was good

Thanks for reading this post and answering I feel better about it all now and I think thats why things were better last nite. Seriouly again thanks all.

Esp skittishkitten seriously what you said kinda sumed things up.

Thank you all Wolf.

PS Beruit before judging look at ones self and well what you had to say was REALLY helpfull :rolleyes: You suck.

iguana

Wolf wrote:

recently I bought some comdoms called delay by accident and I started with one of those but quickly changed but even with a regular I was still having difficultly and then when without as I said above it was more the fact that I wasn't hard hard so I was a bit concerned about her pleasure. Also, I believe in safe sex so while last night we went without I going to have to use something in the future so hence the post really.

Those Delay condoms have a gel in them that causes a loss of sensation to the skin. Even though you took it off the gel would still have been left on your skin. You would really have needed to have washed and even then it may still have been working. If I was you I'd throw those condoms out.

And seriously, the whole safe sex thing is important. 85-90% of all new hiv infections in this country are sexually transmitted and all std's are on the rise. Be careful, perhaps if the condoms still cause problems and you and this girl stay together and monogomous you could both get tested in 3 months and then find a different contraception method.