Friend possibly alcoholic

LegacyUser

Anyone have any experience dealing with/helping alcoholic friends?

A friend of mine has always been a big drinker, this was never a major problem since most of my friends drank a lot as a group, now that we are all getting older and more mature-(allegedly) the rest of us have cut back on our drinking, ie. only a couple of times a week and not badly drunk. My friend however is the only one who has continued to get hammered several times a week every week, when we go out with him he constantly pressures us all to get drunk, even on work nights in quiet pubs. He buys us all drinks at last orders so that we will keep drinking for longer. He earns a good wage but always seems to run out of money each week from drinking. It's also visibly affecting his health.

Has anyone dealt with a friend like this?

Can we help or do we just need to wait til he realises it himself?

billy the squid

Al-Anon is a support group who help people who have family members who are alcoholics. I am not sure if they cover people who are friends of alcoholics, however they should be able to point you in the right direction with regard to advice.

here are their contact details


Al-Anon Information Centre
Room 5
5 Capel Street
Dublin 1
01 873 2699

website : http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

Basically he has to realize it himself, he has to recognise it as a problem himself, and he will need his friends when he finally does.

Gone West

couldnt agree with billy more. Make sure you get help for your friend. Dont think it will solve itself

Evil Phil

Tell him what you told us and see what he says. I've one word of advice though, don't waste you time trying to sober up an alcoholic. The only person who can do that is the alcoholic and they never will while they have somebody to lean on (namely somebody who cares enough to try and help).

I've a feeling I'm going to get flamed for this ...

<additional>
IIRC Al-Anon are for adults who have a relationship with an alcoholic, not just people who are related to one, be it partner, friend etc.

tinkerbell

An alcoholic will only get help once they themselves realise that they need help. So I reckon that you and your other mates should get together and talk about it (assuming that they think he has a problem as well?). Cut back on going out to the pub. How many times a week do you go to the pub? Maybe cut down to one weekend night and one work night, or else just one weekend night. Set a time that ye are gonna leave at and leave at that time. Insist to him that he is not to buy a last round.

Also, try organising some sorta activity that doesn't revolve around the pub. I dunno what to suggest but there is more to a social life than sitting on a bar stool.

Regarding week nights - how about going out to for dinner and a few drinks afterwards, and then leaving early. That way, you'd be able to get up in time for work the next day. Plus, if your friends sees you guys drinking less, then maybe he might drink less. And don't give into the pressure of getting wasted from him - it's only adding to the problem. You guys need to be strong now and stand up to him, coz the problem's only gonna get worse.

I dunno what else to suggest

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone, I think the best thing we can do now is to just try and tell him how we've all noticed how much he drinks and we worry about it then hope it affects his attitude to drink.

Recent events made most of our group notice that it's become a problem and we're gonna try to give him less opportunity to get pissed with us.

Oddysseus

Evil Phil wrote:

Tell him what you told us and see what he says. I've one word of advice though, don't waste you time trying to sober up an alcoholic. The only person who can do that is the alcoholic and they never will while they have somebody to lean on (namely somebody who cares enough to try and help).

I've a feeling I'm going to get flamed for this ...

why? You just spoke the truth!