friend kissing boys i like!

LegacyUser

hey, hello, thaqnks for checking the post.

this isnt really a problem, im jsut a bit confused, im 21, in college, really like this boy a year up from me.

one of my best friends from college kisses him one night, i was VERY pissed off, and texted her saying that it was a bit hurtful that she kissed him when she knew i like him. fair enough if she liked him too, but she didnt really. so she says sorry, that she didnt realise i liked him so much. so thats grand.

then the other night she was with him again, and he stayed over in her house for the second time. this time she didnt apologise, just waited for me to ask her if she was with him. she asked me if it made me sad that they were together again,i said it did, she didnt say sorry or even explain that she liked him. im very confused by this behaviour. so far she hasnt said a word if she likes him properly or not. i know that he did like me at one point, which makes this whole thing even more annoying.

what the hell? i didnt go near this other guy in college because i knew she liked him. now if i really did like him, more than in a fancying way, i wouldve said it to her, not asked her permission, obviously, but been open with the fact that i liked him.

is this normal behaviour for a girl to do? with all my other girl friends there's kind of an unspoken rule about these things, but she just seems to kiss who she wants without considering other people's feelings,

or maybe im the one who's taking it up the wrong way? please help!
cheers!

REDZ

there is an unwritten rule about this, but sometimes if the feelings involved are really strong, you can break the rule. talk to her, if shes really mad about him now or they have a great chemistry, then maybe its understandable. if not then shes not a good friend, and maybe you should distance yourself from her a fair bit, as it would be hard to trust her.

I am MAN

Grow up is the general feelings I am getting from reading the post.

Chinafoot

i'm kind of confused by your post as you seem to contradict yourself. first you say that your friend didn't really like him and then you say that you stayed away from him because you knew that she liked him. which is it?

i agree that there is kind of an unwritten rule about these things but at the end of the day if they like each other and nothing was going to happen with you and this fella then it would be wrong to stand in their way.

talk to your friend and tell her how this has made you feel. theres no point in keeping your mouth shut when you're obviously quite hurt about it. if it is a case that she did it to deliberately hurt you then i'd drop her if i was you, you don't need friends like that.....nobody does.

LegacyUser

hey, thankyou for replying.

sorry for any confusion, peachypants, i meant that i stayed away from a different guy earlier in the year, because i knew she liked him a lot more than i did.

obviously i am fine with the two of them being together or whatever, if my friend had come to me and said, 'look, i really like him'. that would be fine, but it all seems a bit secretive. its just general politeness not to randomly kiss people you know your friends like, unless you are honestly, really into them.

she is not all that into him, and she knows that i am, and have been for a long time, she also knows that he likes/liked me at one point. grumble!

should i sit down and explain how im feeling, ive let it slide now, but im still quite pissed off, should i just move on? to be honest the boy in question doesnt bother me any more, how she is behaving about it bothers me alot more.

elvis2002

yah you need to grow up and realise things dont always go the way you want them to. Anyone who is up for it in college is fair game, he was obviously up for it so she took the chance while you sat on your arse. Be quicker the next time.

dendenz

I am MAN wrote:

Grow up is the general feelings I am getting from reading the post.

I think this is the first thing we agree on !

Gordon

The phrase 'grow up' without any form of explanation is not helpful to this thread. Please explain what your definition of grown up advice would be, seeing as you would have to be 'grown up' to know such differences.

dendenz

Gordon wrote:

Please explain what your definition of grown up advice would be, .

The fact that all this trivial rubbish keeps on popping up. The person should search the board and look for a similar thread with a similar problem....


There is one


http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=227844


If she searches there is more....

secret_squirrel

Looks like one of 2 things is happening -

She fancies him and is doing what comes naturally - in which case you only have yourself to blame - next time get in there quicker. Try to develop your self confidence more.

She's being a biatch specifically to mess with your head. In this case she is no friend and you need to drop her like a stone.

There is an unwritten rule but its not hard and fast and its not cast in stone. Not much in life is when you come right down to it. Welcome to adulthood - the sooner you adjust the better it will be....

Also

smellyface wrote:

who's taking it up the wrong way?

Maybe thats the secret of her popularity?

Gordon

dendenz wrote:

The fact that all this trivial rubbish keeps on popping up. The person should search the board and look for a similar thread with a similar problem....


There is one


http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=227844


If she searches there is more....

Firstly I appreciate you taking the time to search for a post with a similar amount of relativity wrt the original post. It would have been nice if such a point was made originally instead of your initial post.

b) I think it shows a modicum of respect to another person to understand that, at least ,they think that their problem (and life) is unique and/or knowledge of previous threads/search function was not as much as yours. Such respect is needed in this forum I believe.
and

III: If a thread is deemed as trivial rubbish in your opinion then I am happy to not have such an opinion forced upon this thread. Don't get me wrong, your opinion matters, but my opinion is that this thread is not trivial rubbish. But I think more to the point of this point III: I don't think that the OP thinks that this thread is trivial rubbish.

Please post advice or please do not post. If you have a problem with this pm me.

I am MAN

Gordon wrote:

The phrase 'grow up' without any form of explanation is not helpful to this thread. Please explain what your definition of grown up advice would be, seeing as you would have to be 'grown up' to know such differences.

Thread title "friend kissing boys i like!" - This to me is childish.

The thread itself comes across as childish to me, I dont believe I must go deeper in thought for this one because its how it comes across to me and I am not the only who agrees with this.

dendenz

I am MAN wrote:

Thread title "friend kissing boys i like!" - This to me is childish.

The thread itself comes across as childish to me, I dont believe I must go deeper in thought for this one because its how it comes across to me and I am not the only who agrees with this.

Its best to do this via pm, we are going off the subject matter ...


I rest my case !

Gordon

It comes across to me that your post is a bit childish, I am MAN. I don't believe I should go deeper in thought over not banning you for your next off topic remark.

I will take an adult stance and let you have the last word though..

ChRoMe

First imho when I saw the title of the thread I was expecting it to be written by a angst ridden 16 year old.

Lesson 1 If you like a boy/girl and dont go for it and they end up with someone else its your fault for not acting.

Lesson 2 Unwritten rules really dont amount to anything (thats why they are unwritten!).

Lesson 3 Your friend doesnt have to justify the fact that she is with this guy. Thats their business not yours

Lesson 4 Life's unfair. Get used to it

dendenz

ChRoMe wrote:

First imho when I saw the title of the thread I was expecting it to be written by a angst ridden 16 year old.

Lesson 1 If you like a boy/girl and dont go for it and they end up with someone else its your fault for not acting.

Lesson 2 Unwritten rules really dont amount to anything (thats why they are unwritten!).

Lesson 3 Your friend doesnt have to justify the fact that she is with this guy. Thats their business not yours

Lesson 4 Life's unfair. Get used to it

Point No4, bang on ...

azezil

ChRoMe wrote:

First imho when I saw the title of the thread I was expecting it to be written by a angst ridden 16 year old.

Lesson 1 If you like a boy/girl and dont go for it and they end up with someone else its your fault for not acting.

Lesson 2 Unwritten rules really dont amount to anything (thats why they are unwritten!).

Lesson 3 Your friend doesnt have to justify the fact that she is with this guy. Thats their business not yours

Lesson 4 Life's unfair. Get used to it

What he said.
Also its likely that he was the one that made a move on her, hate to break it to ya but just because you like him doesn't mean he likes you. I've been in your mates position from time to time, and ya know what, I do that same, not because I don't care for my friends but if someone I'm attracted too comes on to me I don't say no.

You snooze you loose.