My Mother taught me....

Shagus · 25-05-2001 2:22pm #1

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just
finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the
middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an
accident."

My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep laughing and I'll 'give' you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
"Will you 'look' at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you
listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't
exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

Schwarzfahren · 25-05-2001 9:47pm

They sound scarrily familiar....

El Marco · 26-05-2001 12:04am

how'd you know my ma'?

azezil · 26-05-2001 9:46am

very funny

but i don't get this one

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

as osmosis is the movement of water within the cells

"just because you're not paraniod, doesn't mean they're not after you!"

smoke.me.a.kipper · 27-05-2001 8:24pm

hehehe. yes they seem very familiar alright.

"Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one"

Shagus · 28-05-2001 3:01am

Originally posted by azezil:
but i don't get this one

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

as osmosis is the movement of water within the cells

Yeah, you're right .. but if you take the food to be a dilute solution, your mouth and face as the cells and the inside of your mouth as the saturated solution

Eat your food without opening your mouth :P

[This message has been edited by Shagus (edited 28-05-2001).]

Bob the Unlucky Octopus · 28-05-2001 3:30am

Originally posted by azezil:
very funny
but i don't get this one

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

as osmosis is the movement of water within the cells

azezil · 29-05-2001 8:43am

no still doesn't make sence!

"just because you're not paraniod, doesn't mean they're not after you!"

Shagus · 31-05-2001 12:33pm

Pretend it does

it alllll makes sense in my head

hmmm actually .. my friends keep telling me they're worried about me cause I keep saying that. I have a land of my own called 'La-La land' that has a great book in it that holds every fact I know of, regardless if its founded anywhere.

goes like 'no its true .. Its in some book I have at home ..I'll show you next time your down! .. just remind me'
heh

Thing is normally I'd have it in some book.

I like young sweet garden peas

Bal