Just feeling a little bit yuk

LegacyUser

Don't really know why I'm posting this just wanna talk to someone and there isn't really anybody I can talk to so I apologise in advance if it's all long and waffly (if thats even a word..!).

I've been totally miserable for the last few days and I dunno why, nothing has changed recently. I've been single for 6 months - I know it's not long but I still feel really lonely. I was with the guy for over a year and a half and I loved him but turns out he didn't think he felt the same way so we finished it. I've done the whole drunk texting him saying I missed him (just to make sure I lost all my dignity!) and stuff but he said we made the right decision to finish so I know he's not interested anymore. Even though it was ages ago I still end up thiking about him every day and for the last few days it's been really getting to me. I'm naturally extremely affectionate and love cuddles and stuff so maybe thats why, e.g. a friend in college put his arm around me the other day just in a friendly way and I almost cried cause it emphasised how crap I felt. There is another guy in college who I know likes me but I really don't like him, he's way older than me and I find him a bit creepy. Apart from him there isn't anyone I could even possibly see myself geting involved with.

Apart from that there's college, and I don't really know where the problem is there. I'm in 1st year and when I started it I loved it & worked really hard etc. I still like the course and the people and I'm still studying hard but I feel empty cause I'm lonely and it's starting to affect how I feel about college e.g. I've started missing classes and stuff which for my course is a big no no. It's getting to me cause I don't want to mess up college but I can't get the other stuff out of my head. And before anyone suggests I talk to a counselor or something I did that few years about different issue and it didn't help so I'm not trying that again.

RuggieBear

htrh,
have you tried meditation......or even taking a few deep breaths to help you relax


If your college has a decent library, there is a really interesting book called the four agreements by DM Ruiz which i'd recomend to read. helped me and i'm a complete cynic

Wolf

This might sound a little bit harsh but in the over all scope of things you have to just say to yourself that the lonlness will only pass when you meet someone and you will have to go though a bit of pain for anything thats worth while. You will meet someone else its just that might not be for another year, two more the time doesnt matter if your looking for something good.

Also, you have just got out of a relationship which means that your life as a single person is very different and yoou have to get used to it find other ways to send your time and other ways of been close to people wether it be frinds male or female.

I kinda know what its like I had the same thing and at Uni as well took me along time to relize, that you have to get on with things (also that year i didnt finish) In time you'll see that life goes on and for every door closed another one does open and sometimes it better just have to be patient im afraid.

Just my 2 cents sorry if it a bit crap I hope you feel better anyway

Ps ignore that other dude what an ass

I mean the deleted post soz

StandnDeliver

hey girl,
it sucks being lonley and im a huge fan of cuddles too.but i know it may sound a little weird but sometimes you have to feel low to know the highs.its an end of a relationship sort of like a morning period,coz of the one less person in your life.But the best thing is to let it all out through sport or writing or just confronting it getting angry and then you will feel a calm coz it is out of your system.I sounds a lot to do and you probably feel like crying but do cry if you need there is no shame in it.we have all done it.
it will be ok soon.
a big cuddle to ya

1 User Name

hrth,

If you're in college you should try to join a club or society. They are a great way to meet new people and friends, and could help you get over the blues.

Best of Luck!!

Besprechen

im not one to talk but on the positive side, at least your ex was brave and honest in finishing it when he did. I stayed with my girlfriend for several years and we both probably knew it wasnt working at least a year before we broke up but both of us too scared to admit it. We all need hugs but try and forget us fellas for now, go out with the girls on some of the promo student nights, have a good time, but make sure you get your exams one way or the other( sound like me mother now!), second year at uni will be even better believe me.

Static M.e.

Sorry to hear you are feeling bad I dont have much to said that hasn't been said before so ill just give you a /hug but it will get better in time.

Try and stick to your classes though

kasintahan

htrh wrote:

There is another guy in college who I know likes me but I really don't like him, he's way older than me and I find him a bit creepy. Apart from him there isn't anyone I could even possibly see myself geting involved with.
.

I'm not THAT creepy, I just don't talk to anyone.

$lash

I think this happens to a lot of people who have been single for a while - Just take each day as it comes.. thinking that you NEED someone is not a good attitude to have.. you will find someone when the time is right -

irlirishkev

$lash wrote:

I think this happens to a lot of people who have been single for a while - Just take each day as it comes.. thinking that you NEED someone is not a good attitude to have.. you will find someone when the time is right -

Exactly.. don't keep wondering about where the next relationship is going to come from. You might meet someone and decide to go out with them, but in the meantime, enjoy being single.. it's not that bad

kasintahan

Why did I think the danceoff was in the student centre? :rolleyes:

dazednconfused

im really sorry to hear your upset and ive been there believe me but the worst thing you can do is sit around thinking about him it will only make you miserable..your in your first year of college you have your whole life ahead of you and don't worry you will meet that special person eventually.concentrate on the future,don't dwell on the past.

Pinx

Hi htrh, sorry to hear you're not feeling great and hope you feel better soon. I think definitely joining a club or society is a great idea. When I started college, I was the only one from my school who was there, and I felt really lonely at the start. I was lucky in that we had a social committee on my course that organised loads of nights out and table quizzes and suchlike, which were great ways for getting to know people. Try and get back into going to your lectures. You might find that others in your class are feeling the same - maybe it's because the weather is so depressing it tends to make everyone feel a bit down on things. Maybe you should pamper yourself and book a massage or something. I've heard Indian Head Massages are really good for making ya fel great!

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the advice everyone. I'm in loads of clubs and societies and i have lots of friends etc just feeling lonely cause my ex was also the person I talked to about everything. Thanks again, I'm feeling slightly better, back on track with studying and stuff

Doodee

Good to hear.
You'll get better with time, etc
thats what i've been told all too often

Victor

Treat yourself. Pizza and a movie with the girls, maybe?

Wallowing in your sorrows makes those sorrow worse.

Signed: Professional Wallower.

PS Avoid booze as it's a depressant.

Jonny Arson

Hey htrh, I can really relate to how you are feeling at the moment.

Basically I feel like crap aswell at the moment. In last few months I've been feeling quite down on myself for similar reasons to you. Well first off I haven't been in a relationship for a few years now and even that relationship wasn't anyway serious so I basically haven't had a proper girlfriend. It hasn't really bothered me over the years but in the last year or so it has got to me. Like you I would be quite an affectionate person and always love cuddles and hugs and anything else like that and yes for a bloke that may be a bit strange but its just in my character. So naturally without being in a relationship I crave to have someone to give a bit of sweet lovin' to but honestly there has been alot of girls who I get on really well with but there hasn't been that one who has blown me away so I'm constantly thinking to myself will I ever find someone.

Like you I'm in my first year of college but in my case I've really struggled to settle into my new surroundings and I have struggled to make new friends. On top of my craving to find someone I'm now feeling lonely with the way college has gone for me as all my friends are moving forward with their lives and I'm totally in a rut and going nowhere. My confidence compared to six months ago has almost evaporated and like you I crave to have someone to put an arm over my shoulder and cheer me up. I bascially feel terribly lost at the moment with everything going on in my life and even though I know I'm a nice, friendly and humorous bloke, I have this awful self doubt about myself at the moment and in a way I feel like I'm being left behind with everything that is going on. When I'm alone and I have time to think I'm constantly analyising in my head everything about me, everything I've said to someone. I hate this but it just happens and I can't break out of it.

I know you are feeling very low at the moment but I hope you can realise that there are other people feeling the way you are and most importantly you are not alone. My best advice to you would be to do something that takes your mind off things .. it can be anything but do your best to keep yourself happy. It is so important that you go to college, go to your classes and make a success of your college career. I can guarantee you that there is someone out there absolutely crazy about you and you WILL find someone to give you some sweet lovin' . Do your best to have belief in yourself, I'm trying to do this. Some days I feel good, some days I feel awful but deep down confidence in yourself is the key to life.

Keep the chin up and here is a massive massive online hug to you

Slash/ED

Zane from MTV2 wrote:

all my friends are moving forward with their lives and I'm totally in a rut and going nowhere.

Don't be so sure that's true, I think most people like to give that impression to others but most people starting college and around that age are just as confused as you and don't have a clue where they're going. It's natural really, don't let that get you down and don't think you're the only one, the ones who aren't are the exceptions really.