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Italian Runny Eggs!

  • 25-05-2001 1:50pm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 234 ✭✭ Shagus

    A motorist in San Francisco was unknowingly caught in an
    automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and
    photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket
    for $40 and a photo of his car.

    Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph
    of $40.

    Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
    contained another picture... of handcuffs. He paid the fine.

    Al Gore was campaigning at an old age retirement home. He went
    up to a woman and shook her hand and asked her, "Do you know
    who I am?"

    "No," replied the old woman, "but if you go to the front desk,
    they'll tell you!"

    A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called over the
    head waiter one morning and said, "I want two boiled eggs, one
    of them so undercooked that it's runny, and the other so
    overcooked that it's tough and hard to eat. Also grilled bacon
    that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that
    crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter
    straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to
    spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, luke-warm."

    "That's a very complicated order sir," said the bewildered
    waiter, "It might be quite difficult."

    The guest replied, "But that's what you served me yesterday!"

    An Italian woman married an Italian man. The Italian tradition for
    newlyweds is to sleep at your mother's house on your wedding night
    and remain a virgin until you are married.

    After the wedding, the newlyweds went back to her mother's house.
    The man went up stairs and the woman stayed to talk to her mom. She
    said, "I don't want to go up there." Her mom said, "He's a good
    man. Go upstairs and he'll treat you well."

    When she got upstairs, the man took off his shirt. She ran back
    downstairs and said, "Mama! Mama! He has a hairy chest!" Her mom
    said, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs and he will treat
    you well."

    When she got upstairs, he took off his pants. She ran back downstairs
    and said, "Mama! Mama! He has hairy legs!" Her mom said, "All good men
    have hairy legs. Go upstairs and he will treat you well."

    When she got upstairs he took off his socks. She noticed that half
    his foot was missing. She ran downstairs and said, "Mama! Mama! He
    has a foot and a half!" Her mom said, "Stay here! This is job for