sex joke (over 16's only) ;)

azezil

Sex is the most practical and funniest way of losing weight!

Look how many calories you can burn:

TAKING OFF THE CLOTHES
With her agreement...................12 cal
Without her agreement...............187 cal

TAKING OFF THE BRA
With both hands.......................8 cal
With one hand........................12 cal
With the mouth.......................85 cal

PUTTING ON THE CONDOM
With erection.........................6 cal
Without erection....................315 cal

FOREPLAY
Trying to find the clitoris...........8 cal
Trying to find G spot................92 cal
Without caring at all.................0 cal

WHEN "DOING IT"
Holding her up.......................12 cal
Just on the floor.....................8 cal

POSITIONS
Daddy-mummy...........................2 cal
69 laying.............................8 cal
69 standing up......................112 cal
Trolley.............................216 cal
Italian chandelier..................912 cal

HAVING AN ORGASM
Real................................112 cal
Fake................................315 cal

POST ORGASM
Staying in bed.......................18 cal
Jumping off the bed..................36 cal
Figuring out why she jumped off the bed...816 cal

GETTING THE SECOND ERECTION
Between 16 and 19 years of age.......12 cal
From 20 to 29........................36 cal
From 30 to 39.......................108 cal
From 40 to 49.......................324 cal
From 50 to 59.......................972 cal
Over 60........................... 2916 cal

PUTTING ON THE CLOTHES
Quietly..............................32 cal
Being in a hurry.....................98 cal
With her husband opening the door..1218 cal

---

"just because you're not paraniod, doesn't mean they're not after you!"

Schwarzfahren

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">With her husband opening the door..1218 cal
</font>

ROTFL!!

Spunog UIE

The Legal age for consentual sex in Ireland is 17!

But good stuff.

Dark-Ninja

lol whoops i shouldnt have read that im too young, what are we talking about again?

---

|** Signing Off **|
[-FI-]-Dark-Ninja-
Vice Clan Leader and Match Arranger

azezil

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by The FANJ:
Your ideas intregue and wish to subscribe to your newletter.
</font>

To subcribe please send a check for £150 to: A Better Life Tru Sex, P.O. Box I want sex, Dublin 2.

Sign up today and be in a chance to win a dream hoiday with the super model of your choice!


Disclaimer: Under no circumstances will competition winners be notified.

---

"just because you're not paraniod, doesn't mean they're not after you!"

nesf

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Bard:

Used to be the case that you had to be 16 to use condoms, 17 to have sex, and 18 to get married.

Slightly flucked up system, eh?
</font>

I think the system itself provides for at least 1 year of meaningful sex before you start forgetting what used to be like

Hunter-FLUID

LOL Nice...

Bomberman

Lol nice 1

Lucy_la_morte

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Italian chandelier..................912 cal</font>

Heh, I'm sure it's not that many...

---

Miaow.

Lucy la morte.

the fnj

hhhhhhmmmmmmm

So what your saying is I can counter my overeating with lots of sex.

Your ideas intregue and wish to subscribe to your newletter.


lol N1

Bard

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Gideon2000:
The Legal age for consentual sex in Ireland is 17!

But good stuff. </font>

Yeah... but you can use condoms whenever you like...

Used to be the case that you had to be 16 to use condoms, 17 to have sex, and 18 to get married.

Slightly flucked up system, eh?

---

Bard

---

First motorbike in the bible ???? - a Triumph! - 'And yea verily did Moses strike down the ammmanites, - and all the land did hear the roar of his triumph !!!'

Lucifer

LOL Good

RopeDrink

Erk - lol, funny stuff...

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Over 60..............2916 cal</font>

lol

Victor

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Bard:
Used to be the case that you had to be 16 to use condoms, 17 to have sex, and 18 to get married.</font>

Can't a girl get married at 16, a guy at 17 with parental consent (a bit ironic isn't it? Mummy, Mummy can I get married?).

I think you have to be 21 to make up your own mind (not sure).

---

---

Changing call sign to SIERRA PAPA OSCAR OSCAR FOXTROT.

Bard

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Victor:
Can't a girl get married at 16, a guy at 17 with parental consent (a bit ironic isn't it? Mummy, Mummy can I get married?).
</font>

There's no difference between men and women in the legal age of marriage or sexual consent. That would be sexual discrimination on behalf of the state if there were.

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">

I think you have to be 21 to make up your own mind (not sure).

</font>

Nope.

---

Bard

---

First motorbike in the bible ???? - a Triumph! - 'And yea verily did Moses strike down the ammmanites, - and all the land did hear the roar of his triumph !!!'

[This message has been edited by Bard (edited 25-05-2001).]

azezil

gee's ppl its a joke not a philisophical debate on the legal age for sex!

---

"just because you're not paraniod, doesn't mean they're not after you!"

Sean

lol nice one

nerox

Some one please explain the Italian chandelier.. in erotic detail if possible :P

Victor

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Bard:
That would be sexual discrimination on behalf of the state if there were.</font>

And what would be new there?

---

---

Changing call sign to SIERRA PAPA OSCAR OSCAR FOXTROT.

Bard

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by azezil:
gee's ppl its a joke not a philisophical debate on the legal age for sex!

</font>

nyah!

It can be if we want it to be!... which... I ... don't.

---

Bard

---

First motorbike in the bible ???? - a Triumph! - 'And yea verily did Moses strike down the ammmanites, - and all the land did hear the roar of his triumph !!!'

Klay

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Trolley.............................216 cal
Italian chandelier..................912 cal
</font>

/me is so innocent..

WTF are they?

---

"(Shaft error to Klay[b-airlock140.esatclear.ie]: Erection reset by queer)"

Victor

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Klay:
/me is so innocent..

WTF are they? </font>

Oh dear, now we get TB&TBs on boards.ie.

---

---

Changing call sign to SIERRA PAPA OSCAR OSCAR FOXTROT.