10 things to do in Your fair county

Belisarius

As a corkonian type myself I tend to spend alot of time in Cork . I have compiled this helpful list of things to do when in our Fair city


1) Leave Cork ....in a car
2) Leave Cork ....in a Train
3) Leave Cork ....in a Plane
4) Leave Cork ....in a boat
5) Kill yerself
6) Form a Mercenary fighting unit and Hire yourself out to a non-Cork based evil empire bent on world domination *It is unknown wether theese organisations exist outside Cork*
7)Get pregnant ...In Cork!
8)Join a circus , if one is not available sell yourself to a group of Slavetraders *one of many in Cork*
9) , Theres is nothing else to do in Cork ...nothing!

Opinions on Cork or other cities welcome

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Shrewgar!

D-Generate

What the heck are you on. Cork is a really nice city/town.

Schwarzfahren

Shouldn't this be in the trolls board as opposed to the humour one? Not funny, just st00pid.

Belisarius

Cork is nice...but could you really imagine spending more than a month here ? anyone else from cork would back me up as for schwarzfaren ,the reason i wouldnt put it on troll is cos nobody reads trolls , Its where threads go to die .But hey spurned and rejected , I abandon my landfall in Humour and turn crying towards the paternal warmth of my Beloved Humanities

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Shrewgar!

Blitzkrieger

There's nothing to do in any city, deal.

BlitzKrieg

I come from tipperary (theres a prob) so iwoudnt know much but i go to a school where i am stuck with 2 cork men, one is the son of the "very" rich Musgrave cash and carry, the other a unknown Archer. If they are anything to go by what cork is like, i rather avoid, strange children calling cork the "Fatherland" and parading around sniffing bottles of cork air like its a drug. (we r in a boarding school in Dub so go figure)

I can never understand them they r always screaming and saying strange things they call each other pimp and chimp and seem to spend their time taking over our dorm declaring it a state of the fatherland and electing musgrave as the Great Crisp packet (i.e leader) and giving votes only to corkmen (the 2 of them) tipperary and the rest of the midlands is currently under preparation to be nucked then flooded by the Cork "fatherland" military.

If this is wha cork is like it is quite ****ed up.

po0k

Hell, that's just the Blowins, the natives are much worse.

But for some real lunacy come out to Renvile, Co. Galway.
'The Self-Proclaimed Club-Culture-Capital Of The West!'

Craic-ed

Belisarius

* I dony know why I entertaining this from a raw newbie but*

Note the title of this board you little muppet "Humour" Joviality and Levity abounds my good man , However your sombre deconstruction of this thread lends itself more to a critical analysis of a topical debate on current events than what was intended to be a basic slagging match on General pits of cork and any other dive you might care to mention , so upon reflection it seems that you have the problematic view on life , Coming into the humour thread with all the charisma charm and wit of a Ironing board , so maybe you should change youre outlook on life eh? Lighten up a bit

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Shrewgar!

BlitzKrieg

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Belisarius:
* I dony know why I entertaining this from a raw newbie but*

Note the title of this board you little muppet "Humour" Joviality and Levity abounds my good man , However your sombre deconstruction of this thread lends itself more to a critical analysis of a topical debate on current events than what was intended to be a basic slagging match on General pits of cork and any other dive you might care to mention , so upon reflection it seems that you have the problematic view on life , Coming into the humour thread with all the charisma charm and wit of a Ironing board , so maybe you should change youre outlook on life eh? Lighten up a bit

</font>

Ok are u talking to me or to someone else (all readers note, point at who uer *****ing)
(Are u talking to me?)
Cause if its me i'm sorry i meant no harm, its just i know 4 cork people 1 is normal the other is actually canadian and u heard of the other 2 I dont want to offend cork people i just thought to hear how humouras that these two people one of which is almost 18 parade around like this, imature yet funny if u saw it u would either be scared or think its a circuse.... I MEANT NO HARM!!!


or am i paranoid?

rymus

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Belisarius:

1) Leave Cork ....in a car
2) Leave Cork ....in a Train
3) Leave Cork ....in a Plane
4) Leave Cork ....in a boat
5) Kill yerself
6) Form a Mercenary fighting unit and Hire yourself out to a non-Cork based evil empire bent on world domination *It is unknown wether theese organisations exist outside Cork*
7)Get pregnant ...In Cork!
8)Join a circus , if one is not available sell yourself to a group of Slavetraders *one of many in Cork*
9) , Theres is nothing else to do in Cork ...nothing!
</font>

We've been done! theres only 9 things there!! Possible number tens

10) Sell the big issue
10) Poke fun at 'holier than thou' UCC types (a personal favorite of mine)
10) Take a trip out to the swings in the Lee Fields (cant go rong witta bitta swingin)
10) Look for a job
10) Spend all day in Peace Park (but why would u want to?)
10) Spot the talent* (see note)
10) Freak people out & generally make people think youre a raving lunatic
10) Beat someone (or a group of people) up
10) Browse the shelves in utopia
10) Visit your unfortunate friends working in shops in Merchants Quay & poke fun in their general direction
10) Go into PC Superstore and ask the nerdy looking sales dude (you know who you are) really difficult questions like - "How much is that?". Stuff he'll have to ask the managers advise on. Really makes him feel as stupid as he looks.(another of my favorites)
10) Go to the pub
10) Give wrong directions to foreigners

and last but not least....

10) Go home and scratch your **** cos theres nothing to do in Cark Cihhy!

* Talent spotting!
Does anyone remember the good old days when all the talent was around the 18-21 age range? Being on the latter portion of that range myself I feel sick everytime I go into town now and theres only 13-15 year olds... "Cád e an sceal" I ask myself! Gone are the days of the semi-clad woman! Alas twas only a year ago like...

Schwarzfahren : Bigger isint always better. Theres crap all to do in Dublin either except avoid skangers (yeah right like thats possible). The best thing in Dublin is the road to Cork!

BlitzKrieg : Those two lads, I dunno what to say about them! They were more than likely exiled from cork for being A) Too rich and snobby or Too ****ing weird. Cork isint that ****ed up, sadly a lot of Cork people are though.

Schwarzfahren

I don't see much wrong with Cork myself. OK, Dublin = bigger + better, but everywhere else in the country after our runner-up, Cork, is much deader / parochial / stultifying. <End of sweeping generalisation number 2 on this thread.>

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Theres is nothing else to do in Cork ...nothing!</font>

Perhaps this is more a problem with you than the city itself. However it's much healthier to blame something else than consider a review in you own outlook, isn't it? If you don't like it, leave. You're a big boy now. ( Or are you still under Mummys & Daddys roof? )

Belisarius

Heh Chillax blitz man , it was intended for Schwartzfahren , My apologies i should have been more specific

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Shrewgar!

Schwarzfahren

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">* I dony know why I entertaining this from a raw newbie but*
Note the title of this board you little muppet "Humour" Joviality and Levity abounds my good man , However your sombre deconstruction of this thread lends itself more to a critical analysis of a topical debate on current events than what was intended to be a basic slagging match on General pits of cork and any other dive you might care to mention , so upon reflection it seems that you have the problematic view on life , Coming into the humour thread with all the charisma charm and wit of a Ironing board , so maybe you should change youre outlook on life eh? Lighten up a bit </font>

Newbie, eh? I'm sure that the value of my opinion does not hinge upon the number of posts that I have written so far. You are very insecure and snobbish to dismiss me, based on the fact that I am a "newbie" here. Your attempt at a joke was not imaginative nor humourous, it was childish. I have no problem laughing at Cork, but the joke has to be FUNNY in the first place. rymus's post was actually entertaining and would have been a better start to this thread than your tripe. Don't post up a boring repetive "joke" and expect to get away with it from me. Ironically, you have gotten the slagging match you so desire, however not in the manner you suspected.
Note: I have no problem with YOU, just your stultifying and purile post.

[This message has been edited by Schwarzfahren (edited 20-05-2001).]

sixpack's little hat

Cork owns Dublin, and you all know it deep down,even if you can't admit it to yourself.

--Kaiser--

No matter how bad Cork is, it can't be worse than living in <shudder> Limerick, even less to do there

WhiteWashMan

you are all newbies.
shut up and stop moaning about a simple (although crap) joke....

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Your Dungeon Is On An Incline;
Irate Creatures Cannot Play Marbles

Panda

Ah Cork, we (Castlebar) had an away match against UCC once, twas called off tho and we ended up staying the night thinking we had a match the next day, but we didnt

The night before we went to this 24 hour bowling alley and arcade, i thouught it was ok, loike. But i cant stress this enough, the only reason we didnt go on the **** was because of the match.
But when we found out that there was no match the next morning we went on a all day binge, and i do mean all day.

We stopped in a variety of pubs on the way out of Cork and up to Castlebar. By the time we reached home each of us had drank upwards 15 pints. And we were in time for more drinking in pubs and then to a night club called Panama Jacks.

I was quite hungover the next day, all thanks to Corcaigh.

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Aka: Dragon,Sexual Harassment Panda, SCUMM.

El Marco

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by D-Generate:
What the heck are you on. Cork is a really nice city/town.</font>

For 80 year old american tourists who are mostly a bunch of idiots.

Schwarzfahren

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">"...simple (although crap) joke"</font>

exactly!

Shiminay

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Kento-Shiro:
We stopped in a variety of pubs on the way out of Cork and up to Castlebar. By the time we reached home each of us had drank upwards 15 pints. And we were in time for more drinking in pubs and then to a night club called Panama Jacks. </font>

What pubs do you drink in in Castlebar mate? And, if you're on the soccer team, you know Ollie Cunningham? Very good amte of mine.

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All the best!
Dav
@B^)
We were all set for a game of Ice Hockey when Frank Williams says "Sorry lads, I've forgotten my skates!"
[honey i] violated [the kids]
Tribes 2 Goodness
The Dawn of the Beefy King approaches...

Bard

There's an old saying that some people still say... something along the lines of Dublin is, Cork was and Limerick will be (the capital city).

These people are, - of course -, complete dolts.

I'd have to be paid to visit Cork.

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Bard

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First motorbike in the bible ???? - a Triumph! - 'And yea verily did Moses strike down the ammmanites, - and all the land did hear the roar of his triumph !!!'

Panda

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Kharn:
What pubs do you drink in in Castlebar mate? And, if you're on the soccer team, you know Ollie Cunningham? Very good amte of mine.
</font>

I'm not on the soccer team, but the name sounds familiar tho. I drink in a selection of places,mostly student bars:
The Irish House:such a hole
Stalkys:student pub, good craic
Hennelys:Only every now and then, good spot
Rockys:nice pub
Coxs:rarely but good
Baja Browns:student night club
McGoldricks:Good when theres music
Shortts:good pool table
Theres another pub down near rockys that ive been in a couple of times, Ciara Morans dad owns it.

The college year ends this tomorrow(friday) on which i have a test on in the morning at ten o' fu(king clock. We're going for such a session afterwards.

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Aka: Dragon,Sexual Harassment Panda, SCUMM.

rymus

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by El Marco:
For 80 year old american tourists who are mostly a bunch of idiots. </font>

Yeah but I think you'll find that 80 year old american tourists spring up in all parts of ireland, its not just Cork that is cursed with them.