Age Gap

sprinkles · 16-02-2005 10:46am #1

Ok a recent event caused me to have a good long think about this one.

Lets use the starting age of 21 for the younger person (as its my age

What age of a woman can a guy of 21 go out with before you start getting odd looks.

What age of a guy can a woman of 21 go out with before the same happens to her?

Disregarding feeling etc.. I'm just looking for social acceptance levels here

Realised the question made no sense so I changed it, me was always really best at english. I need some sleep

LegacyUser · 16-02-2005 10:53am

18 up. completly legal.

i think there there is a bit more stigma if an 18 year old guy is seeing, say a 28 year old girl, as aposed to the other way round.

i personally have no problem, as long as both are happy.

sprinkles · 16-02-2005 11:26am

Personally I think that a girl can get away with going out with older guys, alot more so that guys can get away with going out with older women.

For instance 21 yo girl going out with 30 yo man is more socially excepted than a 21 yo guy going out with 30 yo woman.

I'm just looking for peoples opion on this.

I am MAN · 16-02-2005 11:33am

I disagree I think a 21 year old going out with a 30 year old whether it be male with female or vice versa is wrong. Alot happens between 20-30..you settle into a career and you generally know what direction life is going in for you by the time you reach 30(Most people anyway).

25 and a 35 year old doesnt seem so alarming, I just think theres a huge gap in maturity between 21-30.

Mark.

seamus · 16-02-2005 11:33am

sprinkles wrote:

For instance 21 yo girl going out with 30 yo man is more socially excepted than a 21 yo guy going out with 30 yo woman.

I don't think it's necessarily more "accepted", though it does cause people to draw different prejudices about the relationship.

Older woman -> younger man, and people tend to see it as strangeish because it's about the time where the older woman would be hearing the tick of her clock, and children isn't something most young men are looking for right away.

Older Man -> Younger woman, and people won't see it as *that* strange, though instantly many would doom it to failure because she's still hip and up for fun, and he's starting to slow down and buy a home, etc etc.

As age increases, but the gap stays the same, the less weird it's perceived to be. 17 year old girl and 27 year old man -> Legal, but he's a pervert. 30 year old woman and 40 year old man- > nothing strange.

TBH there's nothing *wrong* with either scenario. As long as both are consenting adults, let them do as they wish. Outside appearances shouldn't be allowed affect a person's choice of partner.

sprinkles · 16-02-2005 12:04pm

seamus wrote:

Outside appearances shouldn't be allowed affect a person's choice of partner.

Exactly but social prejudices still effect those kinds of relationships and indeed other kinds of relationships too (inter - religion/race etc..)

Personally I don't see a problem wit anyone going out with anyone else if all parties are happy but I would find it weird if a I saw a couple who varied considerably in age.

6/7 years would be my limit.

Lex_Diamonds · 16-02-2005 12:55pm

I went out with a 58 year old last year, was 24 at the time. Very good but got some odd looks.

Lafortezza · 16-02-2005 1:11pm

Lex_Diamonds wrote:

I went out with a 58 year old last year, was 24 at the time. Very good but got some odd looks.

She was 58? How exactly did you meet her and how did you end up going out?

There's a Meals-on-Wheels joke in there somewhere...

Lainey · 16-02-2005 1:27pm

as long as both are adults its grand.. this was talked about on ray d'arcy show this morning.. a 19 year old man going out with a 14 year old girl..

pickarooney · 16-02-2005 1:34pm

paperclip wrote:

18 up. completly legal.

You know that laws that apply in America aren't necessary the same laws that apply elsewhere? 17 is legal in Ireland.

I am MAN · 16-02-2005 2:22pm

Lainey wrote:

as long as both are adults its grand.. this was talked about on ray d'arcy show this morning.. a 19 year old man going out with a 14 year old girl..

Now thats wrong and noone on this forum or in the world can justify that.

CuLT · 16-02-2005 2:29pm

pickarooney wrote:

You know that laws that apply in America aren't necessary the same laws that apply elsewhere? 17 is legal in Ireland.

Yeah, 17 and up.

Ireland

Now thats wrong and noone on this forum or in the world can justify that.

Afaik there's no legal reason why you can't go out with someone younger than that as long as you don't get up to any funny business ¬_¬

Iago · 16-02-2005 2:33pm

I went out with a 27 year old woman when I was 17, the youngest I've ever gone out with was 2 years my junior. I don't think it's frowned upon as much now once both parties are over 18 and of a similar maturity level.

I know a lot of girls who are going out with men far older than them. I think for me it would have to be around the 5-7 maximum gap.

CuLT · 16-02-2005 2:35pm

Iago wrote:

I went out with a 27 year old woman when I was 17, the youngest I've ever gone out with was 2 years my junior. I don't think it's frowned upon as much now once both parties are over 18 and of a similar maturity level.

I know a lot of girls who are going out with men far older than them. I think for me it would have to be around the 5-7 maximum gap.

I'm just curious, what's the preoccupation with 18?

There being no legal reasoning behind it.

Iago · 16-02-2005 2:37pm

for me I suppose I equate it with adulthood. You've finished school, maybe even had a year of college and are more aware of the world around you.

I've always felt that people are very naive in their teens. 18 is just because it's seen as adulthood, 21 is probably more realistic

CuLT · 16-02-2005 2:55pm

It all comes down to personal preference, but I don't think I could go out with someone more mature than me. More to the point, I don't think they'd go out with me.

I don't want to go out with someone who's world-wise. I'm not ready to be an adult yet

Iago · 16-02-2005 2:58pm

CuLT wrote:

I'm not ready to be an adult yet

me either but I wasn't given the choice, can you point me in the direction of someone I can complain to about it??

jezza · 16-02-2005 3:10pm

I am MAN wrote:

Now thats wrong and noone on this forum or in the world can justify that.

what is wrong with that? when i was 13 i went out with an 18 year old?? although loking back i think he was a little harmless.

Lex_Diamonds · 16-02-2005 4:51pm

lafortezza wrote:

She was 58? How exactly did you meet her and how did you end up going out?

There's a Meals-on-Wheels joke in there somewhere...

Credit Union AGM. One thing lead to another.

Cake Fiend · 16-02-2005 5:14pm

Lex_Diamonds wrote:

Credit Union AGM. One thing lead to another.

...and then the dust flew!
It wasn't Dustaz, was it?!

There can be no hard-and-fast rule about age gaps in relationships. It depends on the two people involved, their attitudes to relationships, what they're looking for from the relationship, etc etc. I tend to go for older women, but I'm rarely looking for a solid relationship, regardless of age. I know some 20-year-olds who I would consider more mature than some of the 30-year-olds I know.

Skellington · 16-02-2005 5:24pm

if you're 20 or over, then half your age and add 7. thats how i judge the age limit of women younger than me... but i dont have an age limit if they're older than me.

sprinkles · 17-02-2005 9:33am

PunK05 wrote:

if you're 20 or over, then half your age and add 7. thats how i judge the age limit of women younger than me... but i dont have an age limit if they're older than me.

Yeah this rule seems to be fairly popular , If a little unorthadox. But hey, your only as young as the person your feeling

Age Gap

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