The Devil Inside

museless

I’m not sure if it’s funny or sad but even with my life in plain view,
Turned into a soap opera of words publicised and mocked openly,
I care not at all, for my mood swings don’t carry over to important things,
Just lash out at insignificant intrusions into my escapism,
Forcing me back to reality,

Oh how the mighty have fallen from grace,
It used to be that my mask just covered my face against the onslaught of rejection,
Injected with a self-effacing humour that I so wanted to be rubbished,
“Don’t put yourself down, of course that’s not true” the words never quite made it through the icy landscape of my heart to filter to my soul,

My mind was always too quick for that; manipulative and devious, seeking advantage in every situation, diplomacy a trait I mastered long ago,
tell them what they want and believe it all, If only for those brief moments before you get what you need, and then you need make the effort no more,

But now even that effort is beyond me, my mind struggling to escape the sticky strands that have dragged it down below the ground, this place is cold and dark and reminiscent of my soul,
I guess it was only a matter of time before the isolation I so craved and protected internally,
Became a necessity in my external demeanour,

So now my mask has slipped, and my hands hang loosely, uselessly by my side,
Unable to adjust it and fix it back in place, and for all your sweet words in the past,
What do you think now that you are face to face with the devil inside...?

Am I still the greatest, am I still the best, do I make your heart pound with passion
or is it fear that controls your thoughts..
Look upon me and reflect on how I have blinded you to fact,
Look upon me and tremble, seeing the truth at last

So I slip back into shadow, the cold darkness feels so comfortable now,
No longer a smiling fool, no longer will I laugh in all the right places,
Perhaps happiness wasn’t for me after all,
Or perhaps my happiness is measured on a different scale to yours

shiv

The last three stanzas are the strongest.
You raise some interesting questions.
Good work.

hada

Nice work.
Would have to agree with the previous post, the last three stanzas are written quite well.
Like to read more of your material maybe