Tech Support Funnies III :-)

strat

Tech Support: "Now click the 'connect' button."
Customer: (modem dialing noises) "Hold on, I have another call." (pause) "Hmmm. No one there. Ok, I'll try this again." (modem dialing noises) "Hold on, I got another call." (pause)

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Tech Support: "Well, let me look up your account information to make sure we have the correct password."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Hmmm...let's re-enter your password."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "All right. Your password is 'XYZ123'."
Customer: "Oh, that's what I have written down, but that's not not what I put in."
Tech Support: "What did you put in?"
Customer: "'FURBY'."
Tech Support: "Why did you do that?"
Customer: "Because I didn't like yours

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Woman: (exasperated) "I'm sure it's the correct password. I typed in the one I saw (another co-worker) use to login to her machine."
Me: "And what password was that?"
Woman: "Five asterisks

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Tech Support: "Thank you for calling; may I have your name please?"
Customer: "Yes, but before I do I just want to tell you that this software sucks! I have never dealt with such a ****** company, and I am just calling so you can cancel my account!"
Tech Support: "Ok sir, how long have you been a member?"
Customer: "Three months, And I have only been able to log on once!"
Tech Support: "Ok sir, before I cancel your account may I ask what the problem is that you've been having?"
Customer: "Yes, every time I go to type in my password it won't let me!"
Tech Support: "It won't let you? What does it do when you try to type in the password?"
Customer: "All the ******* thing does is ding!"
Tech Support: "Sir, are you in front of your computer now?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "What screen is in front of you right now?"
Customer: "The welcome screen, why?"
Tech Support: "Could you please hit your tab key and try typing your password."
Customer: "Ok, but it is not gonna.........SON OF A *****!! IT WORKED!"
Tech Support: "Ok sir, now would you like me to cancel your account?"
Customer: "Heck no, I want online!"

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Tech Support: "Ok, sir, to finish opening your account, I will need you to provide a credit card number."
Customer: "All right, hold on."
[some rustling sounds]
Customer: "Ok, do you have it yet?"
Tech Support: "Well, no, You haven't given it to me yet."
Customer: "Sure I did. I just stuck it in this slot in the front of this computer."

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And the best one today imho
Furioous Customer: "I bought the Internet the other day, and it ain't workin'."
Tech Support: "Well, ma'am, can you explain what's happening?"
Customer: "Well, I called that number that you gave me, and it don't do nothing."
Tech Support: "What do you mean?"
Customer: "When I call it, all it does is squeal in my ear!"

Silence.


Tech Support: "Ma'am, do you have a computer?"
Customer: "Computer? Hell, I pay you twenty dollars a month! I don't need a computer!"

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ok one more :P

Customer: "I can't get any web pages."
Tech Support: "Ok, can you send and receive email?"
Customer: "No, I can't."
Tech Support: "Ok, what kind of connection do you have with us?"
Customer: "T1."
Tech Support: "Ok, what kind of router do you have?"
Customer: "Router? I have no idea. What's a router?"
Tech Support: "Would you happen to know the IP address of the router?"
Customer: "Ummm, no...I don't know that kind of stuff."
Tech Support: "Is there anybody there that would know?"
Customer: "No, the office is closed; I'm the only one here."
Tech Support: "Then I'm sorry, I think you will have to have your network administrator call us."
Customer: "I am the network administrator."
Tech Support: "And you don't know what kind of router you have?"
Customer: "No, I never had to know that before; is your server down?"


bang head here


[This message has been edited by StrataGIST (edited 04-05-2001).]

Lenny

LOL the one with the credit card is good

Shiminay

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by StrataGIST:
Bang head here
</font>

I banged my head where you said and now there's a crack on the television thing. What should I do? I'm also bleeding quite badly, so I hit 999 on the keyboard, but the ambulance hasn't shown up yet - any idea why?

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All the best!
Dav
@B^)
So I turned around to Jack Charlton and said: "Well of course it's not a football Jack, it's an '86 Chardonay!!!"
[honey i] violated [the kids]
Tribes 2 Goodness
The Dawn of the Beefy King approaches...

Evil Phil

Five asterisks! lol

MiCr0

i pressed f1 for help 10 minutes ago and still no one has arrived

richindub2

Somebody on irc told me to spray my PC with water to make it shut down and now it keeps electricuting me. (wan btw )

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Originally posted by Lucy_la_morte:
J'adore richindub2 mais pas le Spam.
0o

Lump

Funny indeed

John

Lucifer

i heard of 1:

Tech Support: Hello how may i help you?
Customer: I was on my computer typing and then the screen went blank
Tech Support: OK can you check to see if the monitor is plugged in correctly at the back of the computer
Customer: I am looking now, i cant really see, there is only a bit of light coming from the window, the lights went out with the power cut.
Tech Support: OK i know the problem, you will have to put the computer back in the box and bring it back to the shop where you bought it.
Customer: is it really that bad?
Tech Support: yes, just do that and tell them that you are too stupid to own a computer.


the Tech Support guy ended up gettin fired

i dont know how they can stick sum of the ppl that ring.