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Cops DO have a sense of humor !!

  • 12-02-2005 6:29pm
    #1
    skittishkitten
    Closed Accounts Posts: 665 ✭✭✭


    The following were taken off of actual US police car videos :



    "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
    after you wear them awhile."


    "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."


    "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"


    "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will
    help. Oh . did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"


    "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."


    "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
    not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"


    "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride
    on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey ****."


    "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."


    "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."


    "Just how big were those two beers?"


    "No sir! we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."


    "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours.
    At least you know someone who can post your bail."


    and the best one . .


    "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.

    Sign here


    ~


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