Tech Support Funnies IV :-D

strat · 04-05-2001 4:08pm #1

Customer: "About time too. Are you a real person?"
Tech Support: "Yes sir, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I moved some stuff I don't use to the trash and deleted the trash, and now I'm getting all sorts of %&*#ing errors. What are you going to do about it? You've got an accent, haven't you?"
Tech Support: "Yes sir, I'm in Ireland."
It became apparent that the customer, in his wisdom, had destroyed the Windows registry and deleted just about everything he needed to run Windows.

Tech Support: "Sir, I believe we will have to reload your system with its original operating system, as you are presently unable to get into your system due to the necessary files being deleted. Unfortunately you will lose anything added since you purchased the system. Shall I walk you through the reload sir?"
Customer: "You mean I paid $2,000 dollars, and I have to reload this myself?" (rants for fifteen minutes, makes death threats and references to being supported by a third world country) "*&@$ing reload! I'll give you a reload!"
Bang! Bang!

Tech Support: "Sir, is everything all right?"
Customer: "Sure is. I just blew the $#%&ing thing to bits with my shotgun you *$@%ing &*%$er."
Tech Support: (taking a satisfying long breath) "Sir, I would like to advise you at this point that gunshot damage is not covered under the terms and conditions of your warranty. May I suggest a servicer in your locality to assist in the reassembly of your machine?"
Customer: "$%!# you."
I dissolved into fits of laughter

Customer: "I just bought a Pentium II 300 from you, and I installed it as the manual instructed."
Tech Support: "Let's go over the jumper settings of the board, and make sure all the connections are correct."
Customer: "I know that is installed right. I've done this hundreds of times."
Tech Support: "Ok, take the CPU out of the slot and reinsert it, making sure it snaps into place."
Customer: "The CPU doesn't seem to fit properly. Why don't I just bring this in. You will look at it, right?"
Tech Support: "Sure, no problem."
When the customer brought the motherboard and CPU in, I could not keep myself from laughing. He had installed the CPU into an ISA slot. He had actually cut the housing of the Pentium II CPU to make it fit.