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Tech Support Funnies II :-)

  • 03-05-2001 12:20pm
    #1
    smoke.me.a.kipper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,626 ✭✭✭


    lol. even better than the first one!! cool.gif!


Comments

  • #2
    --Kaiser--
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,461 ✭✭✭--Kaiser--


    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">'I was once using the generic telnet program on the library computers to check my mail on UTM (the local university) with Pine. The computer-inept librarian walked up behind me.'

    Her: (shrieking) "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
    Me: "I'm checking my email--"
    Her: "It looks like you're breaking into the computer!!"
    Me: "No really -- I'm checking my mail."
    Her: "But that's not HOTMAIL!!"
    Me: "I don't use hotmail. I use--"
    Her: "But EVERYONE uses HOTMAIL!!"
    Me: "No, my account goes through UTM. My email account ends with--"
    Her: "But that's not what MYYY UTM looks like!!" (apparently referring to the UTM web page)
    Me: "Yes, I'm telnetting. It's another way of accessing--"
    Her: "I think you better shut that off. You're breaking into the computer."
    Me: "But I--"
    Her: "Turn it off. I don't believe that 'checking mail' story."
    </font>

    LMAO of the rest, but grrrrr, that one made me angry, some people think that all email is hotmail.


  • #3
    Shiminay
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 28,633 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shiminay


    I've seen in several net cafés around the country signs like:
    "<<insert café name>> is not responsible for Hotmail being unaccessable. We have nothing got to do with them. If you have a problem, see Microsoft" rolleyes.gif

    Also, I remember over a year ago readgin an article on the 100 most searched for things on the web and www.hotmail.com was noe of them (number 26 I think). This is indeed proof that Hotmail users are infact idiots tongue.gif


    All the best!
    Dav
    @B^)

    So I turned around to Jack Charlton and said: "Well of course it's not a football Jack, it's an '86 Chardonay!!!"

    [honey i] violated [the kids]
    Tribes 2 Goodness

    The Dawn of the Beefy King approaches...


  • #4
    boddah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 249 ✭✭boddah


    biggrin.gif very good joke

    btw in my experience, by far the best webamil provider is www.runbox.com
    Durty auld Morris drums... they're fu*kin' great!!


  • #5
    strat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,005 ✭✭✭strat


    U think everyone knows about hotmail ?

    I remember back in school about 3-4 years ago, i was in the computer room with few other peons, i went to check my mail which was hotmail atthe time as there were very fre free places back then,
    one lad saw "hotmail" on the screen and immeadiatly alerted the teacher as he thought it was some kind of porn mail rolleyes.gifrolleyes.gif

    the poor peon
    i hope he is never let near a computer again
    tongue.gif


  • #6
    richindub2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,307 ✭✭✭richindub2


    The mail one 0wns all biggrin.gif
    Originally posted by Lucy_la_morte:
    J'adore richindub2 mais pas le Spam.
    0o


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  • #7
    DrunkLeprachaun
    Closed Accounts Posts: 999 ✭✭✭DrunkLeprachaun


    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by StrataGIST:
    Customer: "I installed Windows 98 on my computer, and it doesn't work."
    Tech Support: "Ok, what happens when you turn on your computer?"
    Customer: "Boy, are you listening? I said it doesn't work."
    Tech Support: "Well, what happens when you TRY to turn it on?"
    Customer: "Look, I'm not a computer person. Talk regular English, not this computer talk, ok?"
    Tech Support: "Ok, let's assume your computer is turned off, and you just sat down in front of it, and want to use it. What do you do?"
    Customer: "Don't talk like I'm stupid, boy. I turn it on."
    Tech Support: "And then what happens?"
    Customer: "What do you mean?"
    Tech Support: "Does anything appear on your monitor? I mean, the TV part."
    Customer: "The same thing I saw last time I tried."
    Tech Support: "And that is what?"
    Customer: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
    Tech Support: "Yes, sir. What is on your screen?"
    Customer: "A bunch of little pictures."
    Tech Support: "Ok, in the upper left corner, do you see 'My Computer'."
    Customer: "No, all I see is that little red circle thing with the chunk out of it."
    Tech Support: "You mean an apple?"
    Customer: "I guess it kind of looks like an apple."


    </font>

    How I laughed.


    If there's one thing I hate, it's people.


  • #8
    strat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,005 ✭✭✭strat


    Customer: "Well, I just want to know if I load this disk into my computer, won't other people be able to get into my computer and access everything I have in there?"
    Tech Support: "No, that's not possible."
    Customer: "You see it on the TV all the time."


    Customer: "Email! I won't have anything to do with that Internet or modems of any sort! You should be careful about those. Don't you know that once you install a modem, the government can look into your computer and watch everything you do? That's why every night before I go to bed, I turn the monitor to the wall."


    Me: "Ok, do you have your Internet Explorer ope--"
    Him: "What!? Your Internet EXPLODED?"

    Tech Support: "Sir, did you just install Office 97?"
    Customer: "YOU'RE IN MY COMPUTER, AREN'T YOU?????" (click)

    'I was once using the generic telnet program on the library computers to check my mail on UTM (the local university) with Pine. The computer-inept librarian walked up behind me.'

    Her: (shrieking) "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
    Me: "I'm checking my email--"
    Her: "It looks like you're breaking into the computer!!"
    Me: "No really -- I'm checking my mail."
    Her: "But that's not HOTMAIL!!"
    Me: "I don't use hotmail. I use--"
    Her: "But EVERYONE uses HOTMAIL!!"
    Me: "No, my account goes through UTM. My email account ends with--"
    Her: "But that's not what MYYY UTM looks like!!" (apparently referring to the UTM web page)
    Me: "Yes, I'm telnetting. It's another way of accessing--"
    Her: "I think you better shut that off. You're breaking into the computer."
    Me: "But I--"
    Her: "Turn it off. I don't believe that 'checking mail' story."

    Customer: "Yes, I just want to know how to return this disk to you people."
    Tech Support: "Ma'am, the software is free. You can throw it out, give it to a friend, whatever you want."
    Customer: "But my nephew received this in the mail, and I don't want him to be billed for it. Can I get credited for this?"
    Tech Support: "We don't bill you until you actually install the software and register as a user."
    Customer: "Can you get me credited for this?"
    Tech Support: "Ma'am, we have not billed you for anything."
    Customer: "Well, if you can't credit me then please transfer me to someone who can!"


    Trying to ask how to remove a screen saver:


    Customer: "I just go to My Computer and delete everything, right?"


    Customer: "I installed Windows 98 on my computer, and it doesn't work."
    Tech Support: "Ok, what happens when you turn on your computer?"
    Customer: "Boy, are you listening? I said it doesn't work."
    Tech Support: "Well, what happens when you TRY to turn it on?"
    Customer: "Look, I'm not a computer person. Talk regular English, not this computer talk, ok?"
    Tech Support: "Ok, let's assume your computer is turned off, and you just sat down in front of it, and want to use it. What do you do?"
    Customer: "Don't talk like I'm stupid, boy. I turn it on."
    Tech Support: "And then what happens?"
    Customer: "What do you mean?"
    Tech Support: "Does anything appear on your monitor? I mean, the TV part."
    Customer: "The same thing I saw last time I tried."
    Tech Support: "And that is what?"
    Customer: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
    Tech Support: "Yes, sir. What is on your screen?"
    Customer: "A bunch of little pictures."
    Tech Support: "Ok, in the upper left corner, do you see 'My Computer'."
    Customer: "No, all I see is that little red circle thing with the chunk out of it."
    Tech Support: "You mean an apple?"
    Customer: "I guess it kind of looks like an apple."


    'One night working at technical support, this old lady called and told me that she received our disk and said that she's afraid of it.'

    Tech Support: "Well ma'am, there is nothing to be afraid of. It's for your computer."
    Customer: "Well, I don't have a computer. The directions say 'install and run'. I'm too old to run."
    Tech Support: "Ma'am, could you please hold?"
    'I need a brief pause to scream with laughter.'
    Tech Support: "Ma'am, I can assure you that you are ok."
    Customer: "Ok. Should I call the police?"
    Tech Support: "No, ma'am, just throw it away."
    Customer: "Well, there is a silver thing that slides across, and it clicks. What is that?"
    Tech Support: "It is safe to throw it away. It's for a computer, ok?"
    Customer: "But is this a bomb?"
    Tech Support: "No, ma'am, just throw it away."
    Customer: "Now?"
    Tech Support: "Yes, if you like."
    Customer: "Son, you saved my life! Thank you, and have a nice day."




    "So long loosers whom I've always hated"


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