Need help with a girl

sprinkles

Ok need some advise:

I work with this girl who I really like and we get on great. I used to think she didn't like me tbh but since xmas we've really hit it off. We where out one night, 2 of the girls from the office, me and a buddy of mine, and after kissing them goodbye she texted me saying that she really wanted to give me a "proper" kiss. I was a bit taken back, I knew we where getting on well but as I said already, I was still unsure if she actually like me never mind fancied me. So that got me interested in her all of a sudden, before I never thought it would have been possible so I never thought about it.

So over the past few weeks we've been going to lunch and the pub together and occassionaly its just the 2 of us. On a number of occassions we have been alone and flirting but I've never had the b@lls to take the plunge. I get the feeling she just wants to be friends and not get involved romantically. But after saying goodbye and heading home she texts me and tells me how much she fancies me etc. Its really confusing. I'm not sure if she really wants to go anywhere with this.

I have been told by one of her friends not to get my hopes up because of the age thing and the fact we work together, which confused me even more. The only time I have the b@lls to ask her is when we're texting each other after a night out, when we're usually drunk and she's telling me she fancies me anyway.

I also know that she had a bad breakup 3 years or so ago and is still afraid to get involved with anyone.

Good to get this off my chest but I would appreciate some advise. How do I ask her. When do I do it? I really like her but I'd prefer to keep her as a good friend than risk pushing her away bu coming on too strong. Conundrum!

Beruthiel

why not just ask her out on a date and see what happens?

Spalk0

Mate i usually terrible trouble aswell when it comes to taking the 'plunge'!
What is the age gap?
The way i see it is she has allready told you on more than one occasion thats she facies you so in all likelyhood she'd say yes if you asked her out!Face it, youd regret it if you didnt and being told 'no' aint the worst!

Good luck anyways chief!

CTU_Agent

sounds a lot like the tactics of a girl i knew....dont suppose her name is lianne... propably not. Neways go for it mate, she sounds interested enough and if it doesnt work at least u can say u tried.

Terrier

Sounds like she is interested alright, maybe the pressure of work and the age gap are holding her back...
I'd try your luck, maybe a very hush-hush relationship is what she wants...

sprinkles

age gap is about 6/7 years, which is alot but its something that i never think about when with her.

Don't want to f*ck things up by asking her out if she's no looking for that. She doesn't seem to be that way inclinec when we're out, its just after we head home that she decides to tell me all this. It would just be hugely awkward when asking her and even more so if she said no.

I really need to get a set of b@lls, no problem talking to women, no problem chatting them up, major problem confronting them either asking them out or breaking up with them.

spunkymunky

When she txts you, what do you text back. Do you tell her you like her?

Why not walk her to her taxi or bus and say something then. You say the only time you have the balls is when your drunk. Try it out. Little hug goodnight then pull away slowly and say something nice.
Worst comes to it say you were drunk and and read the signs wrong!!
SM

Spalk0

I see what you mean!
Well how about just going out a few more times with her(with mates if ya wanted to) or doing something other than going to the pub?If she aint 'looking for something right now' or is not sure that she'd want to go out with you getting to know her better and being a mate will go along way when she is!

Something might even develope, you never know!Either way you should take the plunge at some point, either that or she'd get impatient and ask you out!

iMax

What Beruthiel said. She can only say no. Don't ask her by text, by email, through her mates, through your mates. Just go up to her & say, "Hi, I think you're really interesting, would you like to go out some time?"

One of three things will happen:

1. She'll get all embarrassed, and say... "um OK", you go out.
2. She'll say "no" - no loss, better to have asked her than not, if nothing else you'll be on her mind for at least a week.
3. She'll say "yes", you go out.

Go for it, make her & possibly your day.

pickarooney

You need to follow her home after you go out so that when she sends you a suggestive text message you can appear from the shadows to grant her wish/call her bluff.

spunkymunky

Ah the direct scare the crap out of them approach :rolleyes:

pickarooney

spunkymunky wrote:

Ah the direct scare the crap out of them approach :rolleyes:

I know, in the original draft it was sunlight, children held balloons and a friendly neighbour's dog came bounding up to lick her face just as he stepped out to the strains of Gershwin, but by the time I typed it, everything had gone Jimmy Durante meets Mean Streets. There's a kernel of a cunning plan in there all the same.

Fanny Cradock

My advice to you is to think about the possible ramifications that could arise from this. It’s very possible that she could be your soul mate and if so what are you waiting for?? However, she may not be your soul mate, and from my experience work and personal relationships don’t always mix.


but what do i know??

spunkymunky

lol pickarooney

Sounds like you got it bad man!! How long can you keep going on like this? Seriously, i think you should bite the bullet and do it.

Sleepy

She fancies you but she's too scared to make a second move. She's already made the first move in texting you those kind of things. Just kiss her ya daft badger!

Tranzz

iMax wrote:

What Beruthiel said. She can only say no. Don't ask her by text, by email, through her mates, through your mates. Just go up to her & say, "Hi, I think you're really interesting, would you like to go out some time?"

One of three things will happen:

1. She'll get all embarrassed, and say... "um OK", you go out.
2. She'll say "no" - no loss, better to have asked her than not, if nothing else you'll be on her mind for at least a week.
3. She'll say "yes", you go out.

Go for it, make her & possibly your day.

Or you could say "If I asked you for a shag what would you say":

She says yes, well done son you're in there.

She says no you say "Fair enough then I won't bother asking" and you get to walk away with no harm done and no embarrassment.

sprinkles

Some rather interesting replies me thinks

Anyway she texted me yesterday evening and blah blah blah I asked her to the cinema (we where talking about new films that are out) So I didn't exactly ge the enthusuastic responce. She said "what tonight?" to which I replied no tomorrow night. She said she had something to do tomorrow but she could do Sunday. Grand and dandy. Meanwhile I get a text off a mate of hers that also works with us (another girl) which was clearly supposed to be sent to the other girl asking if I had asked her out yet.

So here's me thinking that I'm in here. So I get into work this morning and said hello to her but there was a clear awkwardness and not on my part. She had again been flirting with me afterwards last night but this morning she was kind of distant about the whole thing. She had to leave work early so she's not around now but I asked the other girl what the text was about and she told me that she was just teasing her about me, which I'm not sure what that means.

I also sent her an email asking her if she's still on for sunday before she left and I never got a reply. No idea what to think. There are so many mixed messages.

Ps: sorry if that seems all confusing i should have given the 2 girls names to make it easier to read but I should really be working at the moment

ven0m

sprinkles wrote:

Ok need some advise:

I work with this girl who I really like and we get on great. I used to think she didn't like me tbh but since xmas we've really hit it off. We where out one night, 2 of the girls from the office, me and a buddy of mine, and after kissing them goodbye she texted me saying that she really wanted to give me a "proper" kiss. I was a bit taken back, I knew we where getting on well but as I said already, I was still unsure if she actually like me never mind fancied me. So that got me interested in her all of a sudden, before I never thought it would have been possible so I never thought about it.

So over the past few weeks we've been going to lunch and the pub together and occassionaly its just the 2 of us. On a number of occassions we have been alone and flirting but I've never had the b@lls to take the plunge. I get the feeling she just wants to be friends and not get involved romantically. But after saying goodbye and heading home she texts me and tells me how much she fancies me etc. Its really confusing. I'm not sure if she really wants to go anywhere with this.

I have been told by one of her friends not to get my hopes up because of the age thing and the fact we work together, which confused me even more. The only time I have the b@lls to ask her is when we're texting each other after a night out, when we're usually drunk and she's telling me she fancies me anyway.

I also know that she had a bad breakup 3 years or so ago and is still afraid to get involved with anyone.

Good to get this off my chest but I would appreciate some advise. How do I ask her. When do I do it? I really like her but I'd prefer to keep her as a good friend than risk pushing her away bu coming on too strong. Conundrum!

Head down to your local "BALLS-R-US" buy a pair, strap them on - waltz down, ask her out & see what happens...

"he who dares wins"
"faint hearts ne'er won fair ladies"
"better to have loved & lost than never loved at all"

Take your pick.... bottom line - "[ben_stiller]do it .... do it now.....[/ben_stiller]"


::: ven0mous :::

sprinkles

ven0m wrote:

Head down to your local "BALLS-R-US" buy a pair, strap them on - waltz down, ask her out & see what happens...

"he who dares wins"
"faint hearts ne'er won fair ladies"
"better to have loved & lost than never loved at all"

Take your pick.... bottom line - "[ben_stiller]do it .... do it now.....[/ben_stiller]"


::: ven0mous :::

Touche! I prob would have done if she didn't work with me, couldn't handle the awkwardness of it all. Fook it, I'll see what happens on sunday and if she doesn't come out I'll ask her. Cheers for the advice.

D

iMax

Dude, seriously, there should be no arkwardness. Confidence (not cockiness) is what counts.

You asked her out, fair play to you, if she says no or doesn't turn up, then so what ? But then, people play a lot of mind games. I hate that.

Life is way too short, be decisive, be confident, regret what you didn't do rather than what you did. If you like someone, let them know, it's going to be to late when they or you are dead.

mayordenis

ok here's my lock of the week,
its my lock of every week and nearly every thread here,

"you only regret what you dont do"

GO FOR IT!!
i dont like shouting and you made me shout,
now you have to do it.

irlirishkev

iMax wrote:

it's going to be to late when they or you are dead.

Haha.. subtle!

Spot on though..

iMax

Seriously though. My dad told me that when I was a kid, it's stuck with me ever since.

If you love someone (even family members) tell them everytime you see them, because there'll possibly be a time when they'll never hear you say it again.