whatta you do, after 32

aidan01

im a fella thats single, im in my thirties now, havent had a girl friend in ages, i dont like pubs that much, so dont really meet girls. where apart from the pub/nite club scene does a fella meet a lady these days, its starting to stress me out at this stage, theres gotto another way to meet someone. i really reall dont wanna have to head off to russia or the phillipines as a last resort, and buy myself a honey, lol. seriously though gang, theres gotto be some alternative..... eagerly awaiting suggestions
....thanks

Lex_Diamonds

here's a hint. Your using it right now.

Sure 90% of the people you meet will probably be hambeasts or psychos but its that 10%, that rare hottie in a sea of ming, that you strive for.

Good luck.

LegacyUser

why not try speedating.

BolBill

paperclip wrote:

why not try speedating.

Yeah give that a go !!!!!!

BEAT

it's hard to meet new people, pubs and clubs dont often turn out relationship types...usually flings or alcoholics
I have met people at work, (clients not co-workers) through friends, and on-line. The most promising people I met was through the internet...so it is possible to meet decent people that way. You do have to be carefull and take your time.
Whatever you do dont chat for a week and then decide to meet. Build up a friendship first and after a couple of months you get an idea of whether you would trust/get along with said person then you can meet up in a public place.

I hate the dating scene, its akward and nerve racking...I absolutley hate first dates. I'd much rather be friends with someone and hang out rather than date and then after awhile just kinda fall into dating...know what I mean?
ahh, thats just me though

ven0m

BEAT wrote:

it's hard to meet new people, pubs and clubs dont often turn out relationship types...usually flings or alcoholics
I have met people at work, (clients not co-workers) through friends, and on-line. The most promising people I met was through the internet...so it is possible to meet decent people that way. You do have to be carefull and take your time.
Whatever you do dont chat for a week and then decide to meet. Build up a friendship first and after a couple of months you get an idea of whether you would trust/get along with said person then you can meet up in a public place.

I hate the dating scene, its akward and nerve racking...I absolutley hate first dates. I'd much rather be friends with someone and hang out rather than date and then after awhile just kinda fall into dating...know what I mean?
ahh, thats just me though

Awww that's so cute Beat


::: ven0mous :::

deedee lepoopoo

I know this sounds corny, but expect the unexpected. I go to pubs and clubs all the time but I meet really interesting characters on mountains or on buses or just kinda strange places.Or if you're shy, the best place I find to meet people is through friends of friends or friends of colleagues, I think and that's from a girls perspective. Anyway, 32 ain't that old!!!!

LegacyUser

For what it´worth, Buddy - I have several friends married to girls either from Russia or the Phillipines ... they all met via the internet or some other unconventional means.

As far as I can see, these people are together, happy and actually do love each other.

And, those girls can certainly can beat the native variety hands down ; no short legs and fat asses from ateing too many sphuds, Miley. Don´t ya know !

Tobias Greeshman

In all fairness If I were you Id try the Internet Dating option like www.maybefriends.com.

deedee lepoopoo wrote:

expect the unexpected. I go to pubs and clubs all the time but I meet really interesting characters on mountains or on buses or just kinda strange places

Just try to be active as possible, get out and about and try to be as friendly and as out going as possible.

Well thats what id do in your situation!

el Bastardo

Same age and same situation here. Moved around alot in my twenties and have now found that friends are scattered all over the place (except where I am now). So far, everyone's best advice has been to join clubs, maybe meet some good people and take it from there (having never been a club-person, I'm still fighting myself on that one!). Best of luck.

dazberry

If you like clubs - and aren't glued to the corner drinking your pints, perhaps you should consider "proper" (no offence intended) dancing classes. Women love good (straight) dancers - think Salsa. Additional "non-pull" hobbies, such as hill-walking (I kid you not) often get a good female contingent with a similar frame of mind as yourself.

There is also the work thing, where you meet people thru' work. Not ideal with work collegues, but in larger organisations or in roles where you tend to meet a lot of people outside the organisation is always a help.

The final solution is I guess an anti-solution, become settled and set in your ways. In this extent you're actually not bothered. Meeting someone becomes a notional idea, so it doesn't bother you that you haven't, and even better, you're not bothered to actually try, hence not making a fool of yourself in the process Doesn't mean that you don't meet women (just in the course of your day, not in the dating concept) and sometimes think of alternate endings(tm), but you soon rationalise it all away without any psychological penalties.

D.

deedee lepoopoo

And, those girls can certainly can beat the native variety hands down ; no short legs and fat asses from ateing too many sphuds, Miley. Don´t ya know ![/QUOTE]


Well Dinny, with your obvious Celtic charm I'm surprised you're not beatng the ladies away with a stick.

][cEMAN**

dazberry wrote:

If you like clubs - and aren't glued to the corner drinking your pints, perhaps you should consider "proper" (no offence intended) dancing classes. Women love good (straight) dancers - think Salsa.

Do you love me, now that I can dance?

Won't matter unless you have confidence, otherwise you'll just look awkward.

starting to stress me out at this stage, theres gotto another way to meet someone. i really reall dont wanna have to head off to russia or the phillipines as a last resort, and buy myself a honey, lol.

Don't get stressed. If you want a trophy g/f or just some 'action', then you have to just go out to a club/bar and make yourself find someone.

If you want someone to spend time with, then 1) don't stress, cause people can sense desperation, and 2) realise that you can meet people anywhere. Sometimes when you see someone you like, a little smile can be your calling card to lead to an ice breaker.

Just have some confidence in yourself, and let the rest happen naturally. I mean, would you want grab the first girl that comes along because you're desperate for love/attention? You'd end up resenting her and yourself if you did that.

Half-Bicycle

Hi Aidan,


Don't try too hard, it happens when you least expect it. Just send off good vibes, hang out in galleries, join yoga classes, do some voluntary work. Utilise your time and be positive - she will come.

Shabadu

paperclip wrote:

why not try speedating.

Why not try speed?

LegacyUser

Internet dating is not the way to go. I met a girl once through a friend and we stayed in touch for a period of about 12 months...emails\ texts everyday etc. When we did finally get together it didnt work out cos our imaginations had created a totally different person to the one we were communicating with. Internet is the cowards way out. Face to face communication is the only way.
Get out there join clubs, talk to people you wouldnt normally talk to....u'd be very surprised how things can change by actually saying hello to one person.
Dont think about it too much or u will wreak of desperation which women can sense immediately and which will repel them.
The days are getting longer now so this is a great chance to joins clubs which specialise in walking, mountaineering, mountain biking etc etc.
U obviously have a sense of humour which is a great trait....relax in yourself and use it....just be natural. 32 aint old either mate....it's only a number. Best of luck.

Beruthiel

Jr.Shabadu wrote:

Why not try speed?

why not try reading this forums charter?
B

BEAT

FrankieGib wrote:

Internet dating is not the way to go. I met a girl once through a friend and we stayed in touch for a period of about 12 months...emails\ texts everyday etc. When we did finally get together it didnt work out cos our imaginations had created a totally different person to the one we were communicating with. Internet is the cowards way out. Face to face communication is the only way.

hmmm ya know...I know soemone who went through a similar situation, the problem was that 1 person was being who they were and the other person created a persona that excited the other person, when they finally met after a year person 'A' was who they always were and person "B" was like a stranger. Person 'A' was confused beyond explanation and person 'B" acted like person 'a' was being weird.
Person 'A' thought 'B' was just shy and used the internet as a way to express thier uninhibited feelings, so gave it another try...person 'B' still pretended like he didnt know who this person was that person 'A' had been getting to know over the last year.
It was frustrating and person 'A' still doesnt know what to make of it.

Basically, not all people you meet on the internet will be truthfull so you have to be carefull and try not to get emotionally involved until you have met and see how they are in person.
It is still a good place to meet people though, I have about 20 good friends that I met online and will probably stay friends with them for years to come

Mrs.Babalady

Hey Aidan,

I don't know what the answer is but if you find out will you tell me?
I'm in the very same boat as you. Same age etc & I don't enjoy the "meat market" aspect of pubs/clubs.

I can't (& dont' try to ) compete with nubile 22 yr olds!
So if you do fnd a club etc let all us singletons in on the act!

WhiteWashMan

pffft, hey 32 isnt that old!

as people said, try speed dating, or going out with work colleagues, or your neighbours, or your friends for birthdays

sitting at home wont get you laid.

Santa Claus

dazberry wrote:

Women love good (straight) dancers

Now Dazberry I think we all know that straight Irish men cannot dance !

Personally, I blame this on the main dance teacher of a young irish male.....alcohol.
Personally, it has taught me some of my finest moves...none of which were ever appreciated by women though !

Santa

Dr. Paco

Dr. Paco is taken back to hear that you're worried about dating at 32. The thirties are the prime of your life and an extension of the fun from the late twenties.

As for dating ideas for one who's not into the club/pub scenes, you can meet someone anywhere. The key is a matter of confidence in yourself. With that said, don't be afraid to say hi to someone that catches your eye while your waiting in line for coffee, or for the bus, or walking down the street or anywhere for that matter. Internet dating is fun, you must use various levels of caution for safety, while other social events such as speed dating can offer a different environment for meeting others. Have some kind of interest? Look for others that share that same interest and see if local groups meet for such things.

Above all remember these things:
1) You are as young as you feel.
2) If not, when someone asks your age , just say "28 and holding" or "18 plus # of years of experience".
3) Dr. Paco also remembers that true love may not be found in a club/pub scene as he observed many individuals during a time in which he worked as a bouncer for something to do on the weekend.

Best of luck to ya!

gary_s

dazberry wrote:

If you like clubs - and aren't glued to the corner drinking your pints, perhaps you should consider "proper" (no offence intended) dancing classes. Women love good (straight) dancers - think Salsa.

Some dance links to get you started...

Salsa:
http://salsa.afterhours.ie/
http://cityguides.salsaweb.com/ireland/dublin.htm
http://garystephens.port5.com/salsa/

Swing:
http://www.boogiebeatswing.com/

Tango (Argentinian tango, not "ballroom tango")
http://abctango.com/almagro/
http://www.tangoireland.com/

aidan01

that salsa dancing stuff seems allot of fun,
i bet lots of people love it,
im not really the salsa dancing kinda guy,
thanks for the suggestion though,
eventually ill crack it i hope
there gotto be someone out there for us all
thanks again
cheers buddy

Agent Smith

night classes?

join clubs, what ever intrests you....

come along to our next boards beers, people have got together that way....

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

elivsvonchiaing

BEAT wrote:

...
It is still a good place to meet people though, I have about 20 good friends that I met online and will probably stay friends with them for years to come

Beat All good advice! Previous post about waiting for forever to physically meet even better!

My thoughts - If you can connect with someone online - enough to relax have a laugh - you won't end up as a severed head in his/her fridge: so meet after 2 -3 days if they are nearby. Talk on phone first - exchange pics etc. There's just too much paranoia about internet dating! Meeting after 9 months online is not always healthy - esp if they don't live thousands miles away!

Ba_barbaraAnne

Dr. Paco wrote:

The key is a matter of confidence in yourself.

Very true. The only time I ever meet someone is when I'm feeling really good about myself and am not actually looking for anyone. It's very hard to meet people of the opposite sex as you get older, 'cos those that are available are usually so for a reason! Somewhere among all the dead beats and no-hopers out there is bound to be someone for you - at least that's what I tell myself!

It's hard when you get to feeling that there's more to life than being on your own. Gets me down at times when all my friends are couples and I feel like a gooseberry. I don't get the chance to go clubbing, the gang I meet in the pub are mates, but not for dating, there's nobody interesting in my night classes, the only passes I get are from married scumbags, but every now and then I meet someone nice - and if so far it hasn't led to anything but friendship, when the time is right (and probably when I least expect it) I'll find someone to share my life with.

The suggestions about meeting people through activities are dead right. If you meet someone when you are involved in something you enjoy doing, the chances are they will have plenty in common with you and therefore a basis for a friendship/relationship. If, though, you spend most of your time on a computer - you'd probably be best off with another boardsie!

Good luck

Evil Phil

Pubs and clubs are the worst place to meet someone in your thirties - unless its a speed dating night. Join a club, take up a night class or do one of the many things suggested here but don't worry about it and enjoy. In the thirties is not old it's your twenties with salary

Beruthiel

Evil Phil wrote:

Pubs and clubs are the worst place to meet someone in your thirties

donno why everyone says that, I met my bloke, in a nightclub at age thirty mumble *cough*
it can happen....

Evil Phil

I say it because I can't hear a fecken word anyone is saying with the music. Of course you could go to a pub without music but *yawn* ya know. Club == dancing and nothing else in my book but that depends on the clubs you go to I suppose.

Wibbs

Unless your living on a deserted island you're meeting people everyday. Half the population are women so they're not exactly thin on the ground. It's a case of keeping your options open.

A lot of the women I know in their 30's are single. Most of the blokes I know in their 30's are in relationships. There does seem to be more single women than men about at that age so you may be starting with an advantage.

If you do meet someone, no matter where, just ask them out. You might be surprised at your success.