Bath size soap???

SHADOW

The following letters are taken from an actual incident
between a London hotel and one of its guests . The hotel ended up
submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times.

Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in
my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Imperial Leather.
Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the
medicine
chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you, S. Berman

---

Dear Room 635,

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from
Her
day off.
I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested.
The 6
bars on
your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex
dispenser
in case you
should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which

my
instructions from
the management are to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy, Relief Maid

---

Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid.

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her
concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this
evening,
found you had added 3 little Camay's to the shelf under my medicine
cabinet.
I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my
own
bath-size Imperial Leather, so I won't need those 6 little Camay's,
which
are on the
shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please
remove
them.

S. Berman

---

Dear Mr. Berman,

The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning
that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your
maid
service.
I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept
my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future
complaints, please contact me so I can give it my personal attention.
Call
extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.

Thank you. Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper

---

Dear Miss Carmen,

It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the
hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM.
That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already
off
duty.
I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little
Bars
of soap.
The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check
in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine
cabinet, along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the Bathroom
shelf.
In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap.
Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman

---

Dear Mr. Berman,

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap
to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further
assistance,
please call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5PM.

Thank you, Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper

---

Dear Mr. Kensedder,

My bath-size Imperial Leather is missing. Every bar of soap
was taken from my room, including my own bath-size Imperial Leather. I
came
in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little
Cashmere
Bouquets.

S. Berman

---

Dear Mr. Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem.
I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our
maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a
room.
The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my
apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager

---

Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came
in last Night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little
bars
of Camay.
I want my one damn bar of bath-size Imperial Leather. Do you realise
I have 54 bars of soap in here? All I want is my bath-size Imperial
Leather.
Please give me back my bath-size Imperial Leather.

S. Berman

---

Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room, so I had them removed.
Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was
missing, so I personally returned them The 24 Camay's which had been
taken
and the 3 Camay's you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know
anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did

not
know I had returned your soaps, so she also brought 24 Camay's plus the

3
daily Camay's.
I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size
Imperial
Leather.
I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper

---

Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory.
As of today I possess:
- On the shelf under the medicine cabinet -18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4
and 1
stack of 2.
- On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of

3.
- On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of
4
hotel-size Ivory,
and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
- Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack
of 2
- In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
- On the northeast corner of the tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly
used.
- On the northwest corner of the tub - 6 Camay's in 2 stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are
neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more
than 4 have a tendency to tip.
May I suggest that my bedroom windowsill is not in use and will make
an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have
purchased another bar of bath-size Imperial Leather which I am keeping
in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman

---

If the bottom falls out of your world, drink Andrews and the world will fall out of your bottom!!
games?

neuro-praxis

That had me laughing my face off. Mmmm, I'm in the mood for some soap now....(Homer voice)...soap...

Actually me and my cousin Grace ate soap in the bathroom once. We were having a teaparty, so we drank bathwater too, and knocked back a bit of conditioner, because it smelled like apples.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
We found out that it did not taste like apples.

---

Give me back my towel. I'll sue.

Victor

How appropriate for NP to respond to this one. How many towels do u want back?

---

[cue Homer Simpson voice] Hmmm, apple soap .......nyum, nyum, nyum ..................... uaaaagghhhhh

[This message has been edited by Victor (edited 27-02-2001).]

Hobbes

http://www.snopes2.com/humor/letters/soap.htm

Yo Mamma

I got sent that as a e-mail not to long ago !! Still funny though !!

lol

Baz_

very bloody funny that is, my god how stupid is the world.

unforunately the answer is very.