I Love You, But I Need Time To Think

LegacyUser

I've been going out with my girlfriend for a few months now. I thought that things were going pretty well. We were going out, having some really good times and got closer and closer the more time we spent each other. We've only recently just slept together after deciding to wait until we were serious about each other. We were always open with each other so I know that the time we spent together made her happy. She even said as such numerous times. Everything was perfect up until a week ago, then she started to get strange with me. She wasn't as affectionate as she usually was, then out of the blue last night I got a text saying 'I Love You, But I Need Time To Think'.

Being honest, I'm heartbroken. It wasn't easy for me to commit to her and now I get rewarded like this. I didn't get an explanation either and at the moment I just feel like curling up into a ball and ignoring her completely.

Please, no smart ass comments.

gubby

would u not ring her and ask her why? u at least deserve that much. she said she loves u , and thats a pretty big thing to come out with, maybe she might have even surprised herself by having these feelings for u, maybe thats why she needs time to think, maybe been hurt before or something?

Mr.Nice Guy

Forget about her.She's not worth the hassle especially since she didn't have the guts to tell you this to your face and instead used a text.

Sarky

Don't be rash. Talk to her, get a clear idea of the situation. Only THEN you can decide whether you should be heartbroken or not.

StupidLikeAFox

She probably found it was getting a bit suffocating. Give her a bit of space and DONT keep trying to contact her. Leave it for about a week or so and then ring her or something. Dont be pushy

Give her the time she wants, she says she loves you so there, be happy in that knowledge that shes prob not gonna dump ya or anything. And seriously, let her think, coz to keep trying and contact her will annoy her and make her feel really suffocated

newgrange

We've only recently just slept together

That could be important. She might be re-evaluating things.

You don't say what age you are, but if you are old enough for her to be considering you as a long-term option, then her taking you seriously enough to think about things could be a good thing.

Texting was of course a cowardly thing to do, but it's not unforgivable. Give her the space she needs and make it clear you are there if she needs to talk to you.

Unfortunately relationships do not work on a 'but I've been nice, why can he/she be?' basis. I hope things work out in a way that will be good for you.

The Sweeper

Yeah I'd like to know the age bracket of the original poster, and whether or not this was a first time for both or either of the parties.

It's an unfortunate fact; while you're still a virgin, you sole sexual focus is:

"What would it be like to have sex?"

Then it happens! Praise be! The wonder of it all! And your sole focus changes. It changes to:

"Now, I wonder what it would be like to have sex with someone different."

angeldelight

A similar thing happened to me... if I were you I'd cut my losses and move on. You're hurt now and it'll hurt if you break up but trust me it hurts much much much more when they say they've thought about it and def do love you etc only for them to put you through the same thing a few months later when you think you've got even closer. I was upset the 1st time but totally heartbroken the second time cause I presumed that was all over and done with. Being left not knowing whats going through their head is just mean and it hurts.... ur better off out of it! Sorry if its not what you want to hear

Thomas

GotToBeUnreggie - a mate of mine was in a similar situation a year ago. has an ex or any other guy been showing an 'interest' in her lately?

chump

Ahhh no, relax for a minute... she's justng trying to get a sense of how u feel about her...

You either have to
1. play it kewl, like u dont care, and keep communication to te miniumum with her
or
2. totally go over the top to show how much you want her

1, or 2, depending on what type of chick she is... mine would be number 2, but I reckon most would be number 1...


either way, she did say she loves you

$lash

Everyone needs time to think ... Sometimes things can become too hectic between two people and either one or the other needs a little space ... Respect that ... Ok texting you wasn't the right way to go but give her the space she needs --

Santa Claus

In my experience, the phrase "'I Love You, But......." has been the kiss of death to many a relationship !

arbeitsscheuer

Santa Claus wrote:

In my experience, the phrase "'I Love You, But......." has been the kiss of death to many a relationship !

Concur.

cajun_tiger

Give her some time... everybody needs it to get themselves together.
just keep feeling for her and see how things go

quad_red

she is being honest.

I am at a loss for alot of women do. But whats been said about giving the girl a few days space is correct.

But it isn't the best sign in the world. Know this though - you're young and the opportunity to live life independently and self indulgently is fleeting. If it's not meant to be with this girl it's a huge opportunity as well.

RoadSweeper

give her space, and place hard to get yourself. make her show that she wants you. if she comes after you then its hows shes still keen.

LegacyUser

Happened to me lately too..

we were gettin on really really well and then one night - after I'd met up with her and she seemed a bit quiet (which she can be anyway) - she stopped replying to me/wouldn't answer the phone (yes, I'm the type who HATES the primarily txt based form of communication that seems to happen a lot these days ) and it was only after 2 days that I got a "I'm sorry, I just can't do this" message.

After a bit of back and forth she tells me she needs some "time to think" but still no reason WHY this had all happened (and I hate not knowing where I stand with someone - good or bad) only that I'd "done nothing wrong".

Anyway.. a week or so passed and still nothing and at this stage I just wanted closure if that's the way it was gonna be, so txted her only to get told she is too busy with her college work at the moment and will probably be going away for the summer so won't be around anyway (all news to me by the way) and "don't need to be dealing with this too"

Anyway, that really hurt to be honest (cause to me it said she didn't really give a damn at all - despite what she'd told me in the past..we were very straight with each other) so I've just had to forget about it.

The worst thing tho is not knowing WHY, cause up until that night things were going great (in fact, as we said goodnight she gave me a kiss and said to call her later...and then all that happened)

Oh well... never mind eh?

LegacyUser

Sorry for not getting back sooner.

I called her and asked her what was going on a few days after the text. She was crying. We talked for awhile and she apologised again and again saying that. She apparently had 'doubts' about us working (we live in different counties, can only see each other every few days) but after being apart she's decided that she can't be without me. She wants to get back together. I want to get back with her but I don't want to get hurt again so I'm going to be careful.

Am I a sucker for getting back with her or stupid for being wary?

Victor

I suppose you need to say that your not going to force her either way (and that you shouldn't be forced either), but that you can work on the relationship.

You also need to tell her that you've felt hurt, but you've got to work out a way to say this without necessarily blaming her.

deedee lepoopoo

I love a happy ending. At this stage forget about the past and don't over-analyze why she said what she said. You were right not to bombard her in the first place after she texted what she said. Start afresh now and put the past in the past.

cajun_tiger

congrats.. don't worry she was just a little scared. like cold feet.