Quarter Life Crisis!

TattyTeddy

Well, here goes. I'm just feeling so, so down. I hate to be complaining but am just gonna throw this out to cyber space and hope someone can give me some advice, here goes!
I'm feeling so ****ty. Life has been fairly crap up to recently - I started seeing a guy I work with. It was my first relationship as such even though I refused to class it as a relationship!! Problem is (as I know how shallow this sounds) I really thought I could do better than him and that therefore he would treat me really well but obviously, he didn't. He ended things and I'm so annoyed because I really wasn't even into him but wanted someone who was really into me (I'm such a bitch) Do ya know what I mean? Ever since, my confidence is really dented and I'm convinced I'll be alone for all eternity as I'll never be able to get anyone again!!!!! I really want to meet a nice guy but I've never really met one. Only opportunity I get to meet them is pubs/clubs and they only after one thing! Please, please someone give me some hope!
Sorry again! :rolleyes:

projectmayhem

well, hate to say it, but everyone experiences this. someone you're with just for the sake of being with them dumps you, and you feel crappy. life goes on. you will meet someone, somewhere. worry not

simu

TattyTeddy wrote:

Problem is (as I know how shallow this sounds) I really thought I could do better than him and that therefore he would treat me really well but obviously, he didn't. He ended things and I'm so annoyed because I really wasn't even into him but wanted someone who was really into me (I'm such a bitch) Do ya know what I mean?

He probably figured out you weren't interested and left - can you blame him?

Ever since, my confidence is really dented and I'm convinced I'll be alone for all eternity as I'll never be able to get anyone again!!!!! I really want to meet a nice guy but I've never really met one. Only opportunity I get to meet them is pubs/clubs and they only after one thing! Please, please someone give me some hope!
Sorry again! :rolleyes:

Being alone isn't all that bad, you'll die long before eternity and besides, as far as I can see, Ireland is teeming with men of all sorts so it shouldn't be long before you find yourself a new one.

the_syco

Heh. STFU. Seriously. You may not see it yet, but you took the bull by the horns, and got something. Use it as a foot in the door, and go from here.

Basically, you proved that you could get a man. But like yourself, men also like the attention, so when you didn't give any, neither did he. Just another lesson in life.

So instead of wallowling in self pity, take your head out of the sand, and take a look around, and see if you can get another one soon'ish

impr0v

You're feeling sorry for yourself because this episode has caused you to come to the conslusion that perhaps the market doesn't value you as highly as you do yourself. You're thinking that if you couldn't hold on to someone who you considered to be well below the best you could do, so much so that you refused to acknowledge that you were even in a relationship with him, what hope is there for you getting someone that you consider to be of equal value to you?

The answer is none if you continue to treat people in this way. If you didn't like him, you shouldn't have gotten involved with him at all and by doing so you thought that the only person that could be hurt was him, but your uncaring attitude and even arrogance conspired to prove otherwise.

You can't really be blamed for having a slightly skewed opinion of how the whole thing works, considering that this non-relationship was your first relationship. I'd advise you to dismount from the high horse and give people a chance, people you would have previously written off instantly. Don't subject people to rigorous analysis to see how they match up to you or to some arbitrary level, because sometimes nice guys just don't fit into standard sized pigeonholes. If you really are as big a catch (anachronistic phrase and idea) as you think you are, you will eventually find your level, especially if you don't stress about it.

Since you say quarter life crisis i presume you are 25. The age thing i wouldn't worry about it. Without wishing to make assumptions, your parents may have been married by now, or may have been engaged, or may even have had you, but things have changed. People are now getting seriously involved at a much later date, mainly due to societal factors such as the changed workforce demographics and the need for both partners to invest time in a career to afford a good standard of living, etc. 25 could now be legitimately considered to be the equivalent of being 20 or 21 a generation ago, besides from the obviously biological factors to consider. As simu says above, Ireland is teeming with single young irish people of both sexes, with plenty of time on their hands, so relax and see what's out there without writing the majority of them off instantly.

TattyTeddy

Thanks very much for all your replies! You're all so right!! Thanks!!!