STUFF

Lump

Little Johnny came home from school one day slightly confused.
His mother was Jewish and his father was black. So Johnny says,
"Mum, am I more Jewish or more black?"
"What does it really matter? You'll just have to ask your father",
his mother tells him.
So Johnny's father gets home from work and Johnny asks the same question,
"Dad, am I more Jewish or more black?"
"What kind of a question is that, does it really matter? Why do you want
to know if you're more Jewish of black?" asks his dad.
"Well, it's like this dad. Tommy down the street wants to sell his bicycle
for $50, I don't know whether to talk him down to $25, or wait till its dark
and steel the ****ing thing!"

Jesus was out walking one day, when he came across a stoning. Jesus looked at the
crowd and then said: "Those amongst you who have no sin shall throw the first stone."
A man at the back of the crowd yelled: "Jesus, you always want to go first!"

The ****faced dero was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one
foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir. You're
obviously drunk"
The wasted dero asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple

This cop was walking his beat through a back alley when he
caught a young boy having a **** in the long grass.
"What do you think you're doing?" the cop said.
"What does it look like? I'm having a ****," the kid replied.
"You'd best be careful, boy." the cop warned. "When we catch a
young fella doing that, we cut his dick off, stretch and dry it, put a
leather thong through one end to make a police baton out of it."
"And I bet I know what you do when you catch a girl doing it."
said the young bloke.
"And what's that?" said the cop.
"I bet you cut out her ****, dry and stretch it, then put it in
a blue uniform!"


Mary went to Jill's place to tell her about a horrible experience she'd
had the previous night with this bloke she brought home.
"Well, what happened when you got there?" Jill asked
"The ******* called me a slut!" Mary said.
"And what did you do then?" Jill asked, shocked.
"I told him to get the **** out of my bedroom and take his eight
mates with him!" Mary said.


The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon
when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight
dress with her boobs almost hanging out.
He couldn't concentrate on his message to the flock, so
he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman
after everyone else left the church.
When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest
lecturing voice. "Just what do you mean, coming to church
dressed like that?"
"Why reverend." the young thing replied. All of my boyfriends
tell me that they can hear the angels sing when they put their
heads on my breasts."
"Hmm. Well let me check," said the man of the cloth, placing
his head between her tits. After several minutes, he raised
his head and said. "I don't hear any angels singing!"
"Of course not reverend." she said. Your not plugged in yet."


Two pro's were standing on the corner
when one suddenly turned to the other
and exclaimed, "I know this sounds
crazy, but I smell ****."
"Take it easy," her friend said calmly.
"I just burped."


This **** goes to the doctor and asks him to test him for AIDS.
A week later he goes back and the doctor confirms his worst
fears - the tests showed positive.
The fag is destroyed. He breaks down and begs the doctor
to prescribe him something, anything, that'll help.
"Well," the doctor says. "Go down to the health food store
and buy a kilo of prunes, then go to the chemist and get some
strong laxatives; then wander down to the supermarket and
buy a bottle of Tobasco sauce and some chilli powder. Go
home and mix it all together and heat it on the stove for 20
minutes....then drink it!"
The ****'s a bit dubious, "And that'll cure the AIDS?"
he asks.
"No," says the doctor smiling, "but it'll teach you what
you what your ******** is for!"

Enuf for now, more Later


John

Blitzkrieger

Jaysus! Where'd you find them? The KKK website?

OmiOmi

They were a bit to much actually

But I liked the one with the crippple