A few Gems

Pretence

The Ferrari F1 team recently fired the whole pit crew to employ some
young guys from Limerick. This sudden move was taken after seeing a
documentary about how young Limerick men can take off a car's tires
within 6 seconds without proper equipment.
However, Ferrari soon encountered a problem. The young men not only
changed the tires in 6 seconds but 12 seconds later the car was
resprayed and sold to the Mclaren team


(My apologies for this one.....)

A man walks into a butchers shop and enquires of the butcher
"Are you a gambling man?" The butcher says "Yes",
so the man said "I bet you $20 that you can't reach up and touch that
meat
hanging on the hooks up there".
The butcher says "I'm not betting on that",
"but I thought you were a gambling man" the man retorts. "Yes I am"
says the butcher "but the steaks are too high".


PLN, Indonesia's national electricity board, was recently asked by an
Indonesian newspaper about its Y2K Preparedness. The reply is a gem:

"We can observe what happens (at midnight 1999) in Western Samoa, New
Zealand and Australia and still have 6 hours to make plans."


A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog ****ed
its
leg and
urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket
and
took
out a biscuit for the unruly animal.

A passer by who'd seen everything remarked: "That's extremely tolerant of you,
especially after what he just did."

"Not really," came the reply. "I'm just finding out where his mouth
is,so I can
kick him in the balls."

Stephen

LOL! I love that last one about the guide dog

Lump

Originally posted by Pretence:
man retorts. "Yes I am"
says the butcher "but the steaks are too high"./B]

LOL, Sad, but Funny.


John