Guys and Gals Drinking Habits

Pretence · 11-08-2000 9:38am #1

Seven bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality
based on what she drinks.
Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The male analysis follows.

The results:

Drink : Beer
Personality : Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth,will be sick on you.
Your Approach : Pick her up out of the corner, brush her down and carry her
home.

Drink : ****tails with umbrella
Personality : Stupid, annoying; dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Your Approach : Dont go near her, unless you want to be her puppy dog.

Drink : Mixed Drinks - no umbrellas
Personality : Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants and
will take it.
Your Approach : If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

Drink : Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask )
Perrsonality : Tend to be conservative and classy,sophisticated.
Your Approach : Try and weave travel, fashion and fine food into the
conversation. Lie about what you do for a living. No farting or belching.

Drink : Smirnoff Ice type drinks
Personality : Easy pull; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated,
actually is a clueless ****wit.
Your approach : Make her feel smarter than she is (not difficult)...and
you're in.

Drink : Spirits
Personality : Alcoholic slut who wants to get drunk and ****ed in that
order
Your Approach : Easiest pull in the bar. Nothing to do but wait until
hammered then pounce. Warning - do not try to out drink, you will end up in
hospital.

Then there is the male drink analysis.... The deal with blokes is,as always,
very simple and clear cut.

Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor and wants to fock.

Premium Local Beer : He likes good beer and wants sex.

Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants sex.

Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a
sophisticated image to help him get sex.

Whisky : He doesn't give two sh1ts about anything or anyone
and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting a fock. But will never
get one.

Smirnoff Ice : He's a screaching poof. Hit him

Bacardi Breezer : He's another screeching poof. Hit him