New Purchases

Manach

This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humour. The company, of course, does not have a sense of humour, and made the web department take
it down immediately (for once, the 'IMPORTANT' note at the end
is worth
a
read too...).

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.
In
order
to
protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill
out the
warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions
is not required, but the information will help us to develop new
products that best meet your needs and desires.

1.

[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Classified
[_] Other

First Name:
.....................................................
Initial: ........
Last Name......................................................
Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
Code Name:
......................................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ...........

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] F/A-18 Hornet
[_] Classified

3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... /....... /......


4. Serial Number:
...............................................

5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:

[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified

6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas

product
you have just purchased:

[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one

7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced
your
decision
to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / manoeuvrability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be
used:

[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq

9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend
to
purchase in the near future:

[_] Colour TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organisation?
(Indicate all
that apply

[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal cheque
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveller's cheque

12. Your occupation:

[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defence Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student

13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate
the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating
on a regular basis:

[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / misinformation
[_] Destabilisation / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
Your answers
will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas
serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist
groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey,
you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder
Sweepstakes!

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write
to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department Military,
Aerospace
Division

IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
confidential
privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low
self-esteem,
no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs. If you are
not the
intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying
of this
email is not authorised (either explicitly or implicitly) and
constitutes
an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation
has been
used in its correct context somewhere other than in this
warning, it
does
not
have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals
were
harmed in the transmission of this email, although the kelpie
next door
is
living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an
overwhelming
fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no
hidden
message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just
ignore that
Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete
circle of
salt
around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm
befalls you and your pets. If you have received this email in
error,
please
add some nutmeg and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for
40
minutes.
Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing.

Gamblor

Excelent ... i needed that !!!

---

***** Feel my Evil Neon Claws *****

Blitzkrieger

"Was attacked by one"

rofl

Lucutus

Ver, very good! heh...I liked this...

7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced
your
decision
to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / manoeuvrability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[X] Negative experience opposing one in combat

(The one with the X )


Pure class

---

Lucutus of Borg

BossArky

nice one

Dave

hehe

Lump

LOL


John

NakedBibleReadingMan

occupation:

[_] student, lmao

nice one

Bloody Drunkard

Brilliant Makes dossing off work more enjoyable