How relationships just end.

LegacyUser

One thing thats always gotten me al through my life is how i've seen and how i've experienced a relationship ending because of one party just deciding they aren't interested any more. This seems regardless of how well things seem to be going.

I understand that sometimes people lose feelings they once had for people, but from my perspective i find it hard to see how it happens in some cases.

Have any of you ever ended a relationship when the other half thought there was nothing wrong, or even you thought there was nothing wrong but just didnt feel right about it any more?

Beruthiel

thread starter
can you please tell me how this is a PI for you?
B

Gilgamesh

still wondering about the reason for this thread, in PI, but to answer the question, 'YES'

Amz

Yes, mainly coz there's a lack of communication between the parties involved.

Sometimes its because there's a case of one person wearing rose tinted glasses and not recognising or wanting to recognise problems.

The_Goose

"Sometimes its because there's a case of one person wearing rose tinted glasses and not recognising or wanting to recognise problems."

Very true. One party just see s a different side to the relationship.
Eg. The person i m seen now told me she loved me after about two months. This freaked me out and it ended. We got back together under the agreement to take things slow and its working fine.
What one person thinks as the perfect relationship may seem like the worst to the other.

LegacyUser

Beruthial - I recently had a relationship that ended on that note, i'd love to disclose more details, but i'd like to remain anonymous.

The reason I'm asking is because i know there must have been something seriously wrong and i'm trying to see what that might have been.

LegacyUser

She found someone better looking than you? She found someone richer than you? She just does not like you? She think you smell?

In all fairness, the possibilities are endless. Why not call her up and ask her?

CathyMoran

I left a relationship where I was head over heals in love and where the other party did not feel that anything was wrong - however I felt that something was wrong. I tried to discuss the problems with the other person so many times, and he said he was listening but the behaviour continued, so in the end (and with much heartbreak) I gave up. The issues were mainly lack of closeness - OK in a new relationship but with a guy where marriage was on the cards. I still wish that I could have done something more but in the end it was down to him - I was willing to meet him more than half way, he was not willing to take a tiny step

To the original poster ask - that is the only way you may ever know.

ozt9vdujny3srf

I'd agree, ask, but don't think finding out will fix everything.

Having said that, asking won't guarantee an honest answer in which case i can't see how you can ever find out for sure.

CathyMoran

Leon Magnificent Pointlessly wrote:

I'd agree, ask, but don't think finding out will fix everything.

Having said that, asking won't guarantee an honest answer, in which case i can't see how you can ever find out for sure.

True. Finding out may hurt. It will probably not make any difference to the past relationship and may even make you see the relationship in a different light. Though, even if the answers are painful or not true it still gives some kind of closure at the very least and a lesson at best. All the guys that I dated were truely wonderful people in their own ways and I have always learnt something from every relationship that I have been in. A relationship break up is never easy, whichever way helps to give closure is best for all involved.

Ren0

123456789 wrote:

One thing thats always gotten me al through my life is how i've seen and how i've experienced a relationship ending because of one party just deciding they aren't interested any more.

Well my problem is that i've nevr been in a relationship so i think you should be grateful that u have and quit whining when things are tough!

Beruthiel

123456789 wrote:

The reason I'm asking is because i know there must have been something seriously wrong and i'm trying to see what that might have been.

did you not ask your ex?

LegacyUser

I did ask, and the answer was far from satisfactory. I can't go into any more details because i really don't want people knowing who i am.

Beruthiel

hard to comment on what's happened in your case then without details

Have any of you ever ended a relationship when the other half thought there was nothing wrong

to answer this, yes I have
though he said he saw nothing wrong, I put that down to denial on his part and perhaps fear of the unknown.
I had changed so much in the relationship that I was no longer the person I used to be when we first got together. As far as I was concerned we had absolutely nothing in common anymore and it was finished.
perhaps you are also in denial and with hindsight will see that it wasn't working?

LegacyUser

He probably just stopped feeling the urge to see you, maybe he liked someone else better. It just happens

uberwolf

I've done this. Had a feeling, couldn't define why it was over but just knew it was. 5 years on, still no idea why I ended it. Definitely the right thing to do. The reasons I gave her were just constructed to give her 'closure' - of course because they were patently and evidently untrue may have exacberated the situation for her.

gimmick

I was on the recieving end of such a dumping, and man did it hurt like crazy, all the more so as the cow re-assured me that our relationship was ok just 4 days previous when I felt that something was seriously wrong.

When she then ended it, she said "well i couldnt just end it before we went out, could I?"

LegacyUser

I'm goin thru that at the moment.. met this girl about 2 months ago and - although she is only out of a bad relationship a few months - things were goin great until last weekend when she met up with a mate of hers near where she lived with her ex.. after that things seemed a bit "off" (she wouldn't tell me what was wrong which was unusual as we talked about everything till then, only that her "bad mood" would get better).

Anyway, met up with her on Monday and there was definitely awkwardness there which I put down to her just being a bit shy (which she is) and figured I'd know more when I talked to her that night except that she wouldn't reply to my txts/call until I got a txt from her Tuesday night sayin she "can't do this" but after a bit of back and forth we agreed to stay in touch (tho she still didn't tell me what happened to cause all this or what she wants now), except that she's still not talking to me and today has decided I'm hassling her - because I just want to know where I stand

It's no fun, I can tell you that..any ideas, except for "move on"?

CathyMoran

Me too wrote:

I'm goin thru that at the moment.. met this girl about 2 months ago and - although she is only out of a bad relationship a few months - things were goin great until last weekend when she met up with a mate of hers near where she lived with her ex.. after that things seemed a bit "off" (she wouldn't tell me what was wrong which was unusual as we talked about everything till then, only that her "bad mood" would get better).

Anyway, met up with her on Monday and there was definitely awkwardness there which I put down to her just being a bit shy (which she is) and figured I'd know more when I talked to her that night except that she wouldn't reply to my txts/call until I got a txt from her Tuesday night sayin she "can't do this" but after a bit of back and forth we agreed to stay in touch (tho she still didn't tell me what happened to cause all this or what she wants now), except that she's still not talking to me and today has decided I'm hassling her - because I just want to know where I stand

It's no fun, I can tell you that..any ideas, except for "move on"?

It looks like the old feelings for her ex got stirred up when she heard about her ex - after breaking up from a bad relationship it takes a long time for the wounds to heal. It might be better to give her some space at the moment - she may need some time to think.

To the original poster I hope that you have closure.