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Letters to the editor

  • 14-01-2005 1:36pm
    #1
    The Brigadier
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,549 ✭✭✭


    COULD the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris
    > > patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on Abu Hamsa?
    > > Les Barnsley, Barnsley
    > >
    > >
    > > 'ONE pound a week will supply water for an entire village in
    > > Tanzania', says Oxfam. So how come United Utilities charge me twenty

    > > pounds a month for my three bedroom semi? The fleecing b * stards.
    > > Tracey Cusick, Cumbria
    > >
    > >
    > > HOW come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his
    > > multi-million selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used
    > > it at my son's football match I was asked to leave the park? Once
    > > again, it's one law for the rich and another for the poor.
    > > Reg Ashcroft, Bradford
    > >
    > >
    > > So HMV consider Andy Williams and Dean Martin to be "easy listening"

    > > do they?
    > > Try telling that to my mate Andy. He's been deaf for 20 years. Tim
    > >
    > >
    > > They say "you can't judge a book by its cover". What nonsense. The
    > > last edition of High School Anal that I bought featured a young lady

    > > stuffing a big one up her bomb-bay on the front page, and this
    > > turned out to be an excellent indication of the contents.
    > > Mark Roberts
    > >
    > >
    > > According to Nietzsche, 'That which does not kill me makes me
    > > stronger'. I'm sure my grandad would not agree. He suffered a series

    > > of massive strokes in the early '90s which have left him an
    > > incontinent vegetable for the past 12 years.
    > > A Thorne, Sandbach
    > >
    > >
    > > IT'S uncanny how some of these old sayings are true.
    > > 'Absence makes the heart
    > > grow fonder', said my wife as she waved goodbye to me on the way to
    > > spend a month with her mother. Since then I have grown quite fond of

    > > my next door neighbour. I actually gave her one on the living room
    > > carpet this morning.
    > > Christopher Hampshire, Bristol
    > >
    > >
    > > The recent suicide of Harold Shipman has thrown up some interesting
    > > questions.
    > > For a start, does Shipman killing himself take his official tally up

    > > to 216, or does it count as an own goal? Where does this final score

    > > place our national champ in the world league table?
    > > Magnus, Sheffield
    > >
    > >
    > > I was shocked to hear Home Secretary David Blunkett say that
    > > Britain's prison population has been ballooning for the past ten
    > > years. My God, has the world gone mad? Those people are there to be
    > > punished, not to be given 'thrill of a lifetime' experiences that
    > > most law abiding citizens can only dream of.
    > > Mrs Close, Headingley
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV in
    > > Britain, a third of whom do not even know that they have it. Is it
    > > just me, or is it a bit harsh that the government know and haven't
    > > told the poor sods?
    > > John Campbell, e-mail
    > >
    > >
    > > Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey.
    > > What about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering
    > > on about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once.
    > > Genius.
    > > Mike Woods, e-mail
    > >
    > >
    > > With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces
    > > soldiers try to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers
    > > include a couple of Iraqis in the hunting team? They found the tw
    > > *at quickly enough the last time he played hide and seek with them.
    > > Shuggie, Email
    > >
    > >
    > > It's all very well Meg Ryan getting her kit off for her new film,
    > > but why wasn't she doing it twenty years ago before her puppies hit
    > > the pan?
    > > Alan Pick, Kingston-upon-Toast
    > >
    > >
    > > I would like to thank Darren of Chelsea for not coming to Australia
    > > with Jenny.
    > > She is a great sh * g. Thanks again.
    > > Baz, Bondi
    > >
    > >
    > > Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection
    > > with the exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo
    > > Fighters. I hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account
    > > their splendid sense of humour.
    > > Chris Scaife, Jesmond
    > >
    > >
    > > Hats off to the American police. They arrive at Michael Jackson's
    > > Neverland ranch to arrest him a mere six months after he admits
    > > climbing into bed with young boys on worldwide TV. Perhaps they
    > > should get some faster cars.
    > > T Barnham, London


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