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Chinese Torture...

  • 20-06-2000 10:08am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,309 ✭✭✭✭


    One day a man was lost in a forest when he came upon a small house.
    Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long gray
    beard.

    "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

    Certainly",' the Chinese man said, but on one condition." If you so much as
    lay a finger on my daughter... I will inflict upon you the three worst
    Chinese tortures known to man'". "OK,", said the man, and he entered the
    house.

    Over dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful
    and had a fantastic body.

    She was obviously attracted to the man as she couldn't keep her eyes off
    him during the meal.

    Remembering the old man's warning the man ignored her and went up to bed
    alone.

    During the night the man could bear it no longer and snuck into her room
    for a night of passion.

    He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and,
    near dawn, he crept back to his room. He was exhausted but happy. He then
    woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock
    on his chest with a note on it that read:

    "Chinese Torture 1....Large rock on chest.".

    Well, that's pretty crappy,' he thought. 'If that's the best the old man
    can do then I don't have much to worry about."

    He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder
    out.

    As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read:

    "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."

    In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close
    to taut.

    Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration he, jumped out
    of the window after the boulder.

    As he plummeted towards the ground he saw a large sign on the ground that
    grew larger....... It read........

    "Chinese Torture 3.... Right testicle tied to bed post."


    ...*yow!!!*...

    Bard

    home page


Comments

  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 28,633 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shiminay


    * Dav cringes in pain *

    Nice 'un! smile.gif



    All the best,

    Dav
    @B^)
    My page of stuff


  • Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 9,588 Mod ✭✭✭✭BossArky


    /me squeezes legs together hard.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,984 ✭✭✭✭Lump


    AH SONOF A ***** thats got to leave a mark.

    Ow me ****** actually felt the pain.

    John


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,335 ✭✭✭Cake Fiend


    nnngggg

    /me squirms in empathy


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,484 ✭✭✭✭Stephen


    LOL!

    Jaysus

    *squirm*


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 75 ✭✭H-K


    cringgggge


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,922 ✭✭✭Dave


    LOL,

    ewwwwwww


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41 Mark_The_Whale


    Jokes are supposed to make us laugh with mirth.. Not cry in sympathy.

    That has to HURT!

    Mark the Whale. AKA Xavius the Whale.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,309 ✭✭✭✭Bard


    Ya reckon?... Gee, yeah... I think it might just smart a *little* bit...

    Of course it'd hurt!!!

    Hee hee...



    Bard

    home page


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