Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

sister gone beserk

  • 13-01-2005 11:40pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1


    shes 17 and repeating the LC, shes on course to doing even worse this time

    shes smoking cigarrettes and hash all the time, shes VERY moody.. u really have to watch what you say or you get your head bitten off... she has taken yolks and her 'friends' are complete tinkers
    im pretty sure she doesnt do a tap in school

    now ive nothing against light drug use i have friends who take far more than she does but are normal, in final years of uni etc..

    she frequently goes BESERK at home... roars at everyone.. cries... rings her friends and cries and tells them a load of lies... its also not uncommon for her to start screaming mad in public if there is a little disagreement.

    any advice on getting her back on track? ... i can imagine things getting far worse :/


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭secret_squirrel


    Tell your parents - then make her go cold turkey trainspotting style?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,136 ✭✭✭✭is_that_so


    Had a cousin in the same boat, although was only smoking and drinking. We managed to get my cos back on track. Focus on her getting the LC. Encourage her, only 1 year etc. actually six months at this stage. Try and be her buddy. You can't sort out everything at once, number one prob here is LC and passing the damn thing. But would also look around for professionals for after LC, maybe other folks on here can point you in that direction.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,659 ✭✭✭PowerHouseDan


    jesus she is very young repeating.Being honest i wouldnt stand back and wait to see what happens.i repeated last year and there is a fair bit of pressure.Fair enough she might freak if she finds out you told the parents.isent it better that having a sister thats 17 in rehab or hospitial


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,284 ✭✭✭pwd


    in my experience assertive ungentle criticism is the best thing for people acting like that. Tell her she's being a fecking eejit. You might shame her into listening. snap her out of the dramatics.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,341 ✭✭✭✭Chucky the tree


    isent it better that having a sister thats 17 in rehab or hospitial



    rehab for smoking a bit of blow and taking a few E?



    get a grip man.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,522 ✭✭✭Dr. Loon


    rehab for smoking a bit of blow and taking a few E?



    get a grip man.

    That's real good advice there Chucky. Well done. You're cool.

    OP - If it were me, I'd sit down and have a smoke with her (although maybe you don't smoke), and chat, become her friend and be cool with her. She's obviously one of these adolescents that goes a bit nuts. Gain her trust and then you'll be able to suss out what the problem might be. Although, it's highly unlikely there is a problem. More than likely she's just being a melodramtic arséhole. Either way, as someone else said - be her friend and convince her to just get through this. Eventually she'll grown up.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,341 ✭✭✭✭Chucky the tree


    Dr. Loon wrote:
    That's real good advice there Chucky. Well done. You're cool.

    OP - If it were me, I'd sit down and have a smoke with her (although maybe you don't smoke), and chat, become her friend and be cool with her. She's obviously one of these adolescents that goes a bit nuts. Gain her trust and then you'll be able to suss out what the problem might be. Although, it's highly unlikely there is a problem. More than likely she's just being a melodramtic arséhole. Either way, as someone else said - be her friend and convince her to just get through this. Eventually she'll grown up.

    people coming on and saying "oh shes gonna end up in rehab the way she is going" is terrible advice. The thread starter will over-react to advice like that and do something to make the situation worse(like tell parents).

    smoking blow and taking a few E's is the least of her problems judging by the rest of what the original poster is saying.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    i agree with Chucky...the rehab thing is a bit dramatic alright.

    to be honest....shes 17 and we're moody anti-christs at 17. the fact that shes repeating her leaving cert at such a young age definitely wouldnt be helping the situation. chances are she knows shes done bugger all so far and with the mocks coming up the pressure is getting a bit too much....hence the smoking blow and "going beserk"

    as has already been suggested, have a chat with her and try and get her to open up to you.....if that fails, try the scare tactics. tell her shes gonna fúck up big time if she messes up her LC and even threaten to tell your parents what shes up to if she doesnt get her act together. (although i wouldnt recommend actually telling them cos that'd probably just make her worse!)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,898 ✭✭✭✭seanybiker


    I dont mean to make you feel bad but maybe she is suffering from slight depression. i have been for the last 8 years and i used to roar at everyone. i kicked in doors broke mobile phones i got as presents and last week i put my fist through the wall in my kitchen. i maybe wrong but seems to me she needs some love.


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    as Dr. Loon says, talking at or preaching to a teenager never works

    Have a chat with her when she is calm, tell her you 'feel' very worried about her and that you wish to help her out through the next few difficult months. Tell her you 'feel' worried that something might be wrong as she seems to be so upset all the time.
    I'm wondering if something might be going on in her circle of friends, see what you can find out there
    see if you can find out what's going on in her head, and if she has any plans for after her leaving cert, she is acting this way for a reason, it could be as simple as just feeling lost or it could, as I said, have something to do with what's going on in her life.
    How is her relationship with your parents? I find that a lot of the time, this has a lot to do with a teenagers behaviour.
    Try to gage how she is before you decide what your next step should be...


  • Advertisement
  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,286 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    I'd suggest trying to find a manner of motivating her- as opposed to pointing out her faults. The road to the leaving cert is getting progressively shorter- the mocks must be coming up shortly?
    How about sitting down with her- and drawing up a table of "rewards" for different grades, first of all at the mocks and later at the leaving itself. The main thing is you have to be realistic- make sure its achievable. Perhaps base it on her results from the first time around- perhaps on improvements in the different subjects?
    If this is a non-runner, maybe you can think of another manner of motivating her.

    The very last thing she needs at the moment is criticism, regardless of the fact that everyone has her best interests at heart- its just not apparent to her. How are her "friends" getting on? Are they studying or are they behaving in a similar manner?

    The gigantic point in her favour is her age- she is young, so regardless of what happens- its not the end of the world. However, she also appears to be massively immature. Is there any way of gently showing her that she is considered a mature person and that people are placing their faith in her and her abilities? All without appearing critical?

    Its soooo difficult trying to reason with teenagers!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 775 ✭✭✭Evilution


    hmmmmmz wrote:
    ...its also not uncommon for her to start screaming mad in public if there is a little disagreement....

    Hit her a dig next time she does this :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,893 ✭✭✭Canis Lupus


    Evilution wrote:
    Hit her a dig next time she does this :D


    Or just laugh at her. I'm not for understanding ppl I prefer mocking them into submission. I hate drama queens.


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Evilution wrote:
    Hit her a dig next time she does this :D

    evilution
    another comment like that one and I'll ban you

    read the CHARTER
    B


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,366 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    The advice given above is probably best alright, have a joint with her and get her to trust you. Give her some advice from your own time doing the leaving etc. I know my brother is the same age at the moment and the way we've gotten him to knuckle down a bit was to allow him drink in the house with his friends at the weekends and when Mam's away I'll often have a few joints with himself and his friends. They all trust me because I've sat and skinned up with them and never gotten preachy with them about stuff, I'll give them advice about things and I think they take a lot of it on board. Tell her a few stories about things you did in college (some of the madder, fun stuff) and try to get her to see how great an opportunity college is for having fun as well as getting ahead in life. When you get her enthusiastic about the idea of college, it's an easy step to get her to take a bit more interest in her schoolwork. A line like "trust me, the next 6 months are worth it for the 4 years of craic you'll have in college" go down a lot better when they're coming from someone who they respect and believe really had a great time themselves than from an older brother/sister that they think is uncool. Your little sister's a teenager and therefore easily impressed.

    If you're working, or you can talk your parents into it, a little financial encouragement never goes astray either. Seventeen year olds are usually quite interested in things like tickets to Oxegen etc. (or at least my brother and his mates are, so that's my bribe to him to get him to study a bit more) :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,422 ✭✭✭cajun_tiger


    i went through the same with my big sister, it turned out she had a nasty a$$ bf who was giving her yokes and hash, coke was mentioned too.

    basically theres not much you can do, its her life she will rebel and hate anyone for interfering... i just let my sister know i wasn't the enemy that she can talk to me and trust me.. don't go running to your parents. remember its your personal choice if you learn or not someone cant make you do it.

    she may get a grip in the last two months before her exams she did and put her head down. she didn't do as good as she wanted to but she did at least try..

    i hope your sister gets her finger out... but just be there for her. its the only thing that will work with a mind set like hers


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,598 ✭✭✭ferdi


    rehab will destroy whatever little fragile confidence she has. she is probably very depressed. if she screams at you just go even more crazy than her, be theatrical - go completely over the top ape****....beat her at her own game every time....she'll soon give it up,.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,893 ✭✭✭Canis Lupus


    Beruthiel wrote:
    evilution
    another comment like that one and I'll ban you

    read the CHARTER
    B

    I kinda agree with him B. When I was 17 which wasn't all that long ago if I acted the ijit I was put in my place quickly by my family. The real problem is that u need someone she respects to tell her to cop on. My older brother for example I hero worshipped and so if he told me that I needed to act my age I would or would pay the price :) . If she doesn't regard her brother in the same kinda light I can see any advice he gives her falling on deaf ears.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,197 ✭✭✭Spalk0


    Agree with Dr Loon here!

    Best to sit down and have an undirect chat to her first!If need be have a j with her!At the moment she probably feels she cant talk to anyone in your family at the moment!Even if it means having a couple of chats with her for a while before you mention you are worried!Its important you make her feel comfortable around you and that she can trust you and that the whole world is not against her!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,707 ✭✭✭skywalker


    Or just laugh at her. I'm not for understanding ppl I prefer mocking them into submission. I hate drama queens.

    i actually see that as quite good advice. might make her realise when shes being rediculous.


    personally i repeated the leaving and my biggest motivator was that if i did **** again it would cost a few grand to repeat it again. might not hurt to remind her of this fact. and also how much she will love college. having a j with her would be a good setting to approach this.

    6 months is enough time to dramatically change the grades she will get in the leaving if she applies herself now (god I sound old. almost teacher like) but any shorter and she'll run out of time.


  • Advertisement
Advertisement