trouble

LegacyUser

hi.
im 20 now. just out of a long relationship that ended bad.
when i was with the last person it was great. it helped me become the person i am today.
the problem i have is i cant seem to find anyone thats remotely interested in me.
ive been told by a lot of my friends that im good looking, and never had a problem with it before.
im romantic to the point where its just too much.
im a lot of fun to go to the pub with and ive no problem with anything at all.
i make a decent bit of money each week, and have a lot of time off aswell. i dont fight with friends or anything and i get on with everyone.
im not into drugs, but i smoke a small bit.
i work out in the gym and im in good shape.
but no one seems to be attracted to me, or interested in me at all. i dont come off as being gay, im very masculine aswell....

i dont know if its something i do, or say or anything.
when i go out to the pub and night club, i end up talking to a load or people espically girls, but when an opportunity comes up to make a move, it fails.. they usually say not interested, or ur sweet but i cant. blah blah...

anyone else have a view on this?
im not desperate, or paranoid over this but i would just like to be with someone..

thanks!

Zulu

Confidence, confidence, confidence.

pickarooney

am i that bad? wrote:

im romantic to the point where its just too much.

i dont come off as being gay

You sure about that?

LegacyUser

yes im sure. im not gay or anything.
what i mean by romantic, i show that i can be caring and all that.
mayb ei exagerated a little about saying to the point where its too much...

i do nice things, i dont say horrible things, im friendly, helpful and all that.

im not mad into sex and i dont push my luck on anything. im not offensive in what i say.
i take life as it comes.

shelly04

Zulu wrote:

Confidence, confidence, confidence.

yep....

LegacyUser

Your problem is you see women as human beings rather than sex objects

tinkerbell

If you're only just out of a long relationship that ended badly, why don't you give yourself some time to figure out what you want yourself, rather than just trying to fill the void that is there since the breakup.

How long ago did ye break up? From your post you sound like you want a replacement immediately and that if you don't get one now, you feel you never will, but you're only 20 so you've loads of time to meet hundreds of women and go out with as many / as little of 'em as you so wish! So what's the rush?

Evilution

am i that bad? wrote:

ive been told by a lot of my friends that im good looking, and never had a problem with it before.

They're lying to you. You probably let yourself go in that relationship and thats (a) why she left you, and (b) why nobody else is interested.
Welcome to 2005.

karlh

am i that bad? wrote:

im not mad into sex and i dont push my luck on anything.

I think I found the root of the problem.

Pursue them like a rabid dog and see what happens!!!
:cool:

Zillah

lol

Sorry, but you think you're going to find relationship material by chatting someone up at a bar? Ask your friends, how many of them have ever had a long term relationship when they met the partner in a nightclub. There'll be few or none. Friends of friends, students etc, thats the way to go.

And to be fair, there's a thousand things people can pick up on face to face, that people cannot pick up on over the internet, so there maybe something that your just doing wrong, but be damned if anyone here can tell you what it is.

Um, post a photo of yourself, then we can tell you without bias if you're good looking or not.

Edit : And to be honest

im not desperate, or paranoid over this but i would just like to be with someone..

...sounds kinda desperate. If they get a whiff of "I want someone to be with" its an immediate turn off.

Sleepy

Read The Corinthian's previous posts on this subject. You'll find them with a quick search of this forum. I'm sure he'd admit himself that his advice is unlikely to find you your soulmate but it can certainly help get you laid

LegacyUser

woah woah back up there lads.
when i posted this, i think ye picked it up wrong.
probably my fault for phrasing it the way i did..

im NOT looking for a relationship!
good god no. all i want is something fun or to start on.

gubby

chill out. have fun just being by yourself.. enjoy the freedom of doing what you want.. when you want. you say your not desperate.. maybe it looks like that to those girls. anyway.. I guess that by the time this thread is finished... you will have got yourself laid and problem solved!!!
listen to tinkerbell

Zulu

am i that bad? wrote:

woah woah back up there lads.
when i posted this, i think ye picked it up wrong.
probably my fault for phrasing it the way i did..

im NOT looking for a relationship!
good god no. all i want is something fun or to start on.

well then, cut standards.

Sleepy

am i that bad? wrote:

woah woah back up there lads.
when i posted this, i think ye picked it up wrong.
probably my fault for phrasing it the way i did..

im NOT looking for a relationship!
good god no. all i want is something fun or to start on.

In that case, definitely read the Corinthian's posts. He'd be the Marquis De Sade of these parts...

pickarooney

Sleepy wrote:

In that case, definitely read the Corinthian's posts. He'd be the Marquis De Sade of these parts...

You seem to be a fan. Has he introduced you to any carnal pleasures you'd like to share with the group?

Gordon

pickarooney, Sleepy's carnal knowledge of TC has nothing to do with this thread.

Sleepy

No, that sad tale of rejection is another story entirely... *sniff*

Nevyn

Sleepy wrote:

In that case, definitely read the Corinthian's posts. He'd be the Marquis De Sade of these parts...

So he's an aging pervert who is more words then deeds; that the courts should order he locked up in and insane asylum for societies good?

d22ontour

phlematic wrote:

lol

Sorry, but you think you're going to find relationship material by chatting someone up at a bar? Ask your friends, how many of them have ever had a long term relationship when they met the partner in a nightclub. There'll be few or none. Friends of friends, students etc, thats the way to go.

i met someone in a nightclub and here i am 11 years later still with her and still wishing i never went to the club

Alana

Well nightclubs are good places to go if you'r looking for a bit of fun...but then again it would depend on where you are going,i.e what type of crowd it would attract...?and therefore what kind of ladies are you looking to find...?equally places like whelans and redbox are good places to pick ppl up..but as a gross generalisation they'r dif kinds of peeps.

Best bet is not to look for it (being the fun bit) and it'll turn up...like goddam buses...but if you're looking for someone like your x who i'm kicking myself for not getting the quote now-but i think you said something along the lines of making you a better person...then you might be looking for a while.

enjoy being single, god knows anyone of a youthful persuasion such as myself in a long term relationship eyes ye singletons on the odd ocasion with a certain envy...

however on a slightly synical note & off the pt, you are 20...and in the time frame that you mentioned (ie when you were in that relationship) had you not have been in a relationship, you more than likely would have changed a good bit, what with the growing up, and *playing devils advocate here* maybe that lady you were with-although as great and happy ye were and she made you-maybe doesn't deserve the pedstal that you perch her on...and maybe that could be colouring your views...

drink, dance, and have fun

HarryD

BULLER wrote:

Your problem is you see women as human beings rather than sex objects

lol !!