Music (Please be nice, I never write stuff)

Piste

Close your eyes and see an atmosphere rise up shimmering about you.
Open your eyes and you can see music, it dances before you and you just want to touch it, to hold it, to experience it, to be the music and live with the music and love the music. Swimming around your body and flooding your soul with some unidentifiable emotion.

Softly growling like a lion, deep baselines send shivers up and down your spine and a guitar that has a voice of its own speaks to you, tells you how it feels, screams its life story and fades to a riff that mesmerizes.

The softest harmonies and thundering crescendos, tinkling piano next to screaming guitars, weave around each other and sing to you, to calm you, to excite you and to fill you with a passion that can only be expressed through music itself.

All the spirit and rapture of the world expressed through strings that sing to you and cry to you, songs pulsing with rhythm that wrap themselves around you, consume you, entice you, and embrace you into a world where beat and cadence rule with an intense ambience like a swirling sparkling aurora: intense and filled with feeling.

You want to join this wonderful bittersweet world where once-forgotten memories can be dragged up by the scruff of the neck and flung in your face by even the simplest chord.

A dancing, twirling, everchanging life force.

D!ve^Bomb!

i take it these are lyrics to a song? i have to admit i enjoyed reading it, i thought it was very good, but i'd need to hear it with the music to REALLY 'judge' it:) did you write some music with it?

BEAT

no, I dont think so...it seems more of an expression of music than an actual piece of music.
It is how music makes her feel I believe...I mean I cant see that a being put to music actually, think about it.

I appreciate what you are trying to do with the piece but something doesnt feel right about it,
it doesnt seem to flow as it should...perhaps it is just me though, music moves me in ways which words can not describe but if I were to put it down I think it would run together better...flow more freely
as music does itself

Play with it some more, really draw on your emotions, put in your mind the most beautiful piece of music you have ever heard and try again...let us see what you come up with.
remember to feel it.

Piste

Yes I agree it doesn't have much of a rhythym. I'll work on that though, thank you for the feedback.

Raphael

Very nice Gummy, Excellent descriptive writing, and some good use of onomatapaeia words in there. (note to self, learn how to spell onomatapaeia) To be perfectly honest it looks like it should be written on the inside of a hippy-rock album sleeve. But hey, I love those kind of things

One thing though, you shouldn't ask people to be nice. It undermines the concept of advice. Being advised about your work ain't always good, but critisism can lead to improvement. Except in the ravens case, but I think s/he's just mean for something to do

americanCat

nice!! very ethereal! i love your use of adjectives! keep up the good work!
what type of music would this go to? (just wondrin)

Piste

Raphael wrote:

Very nice Gummy, Excellent descriptive writing, and some good use of onomatapaeia words in there. (note to self, learn how to spell onomatapaeia) To be perfectly honest it looks like it should be written on the inside of a hippy-rock album sleeve. But hey, I love those kind of things

One thing though, you shouldn't ask people to be nice. It undermines the concept of advice. Being advised about your work ain't always good, but critisism can lead to improvement. Except in the ravens case, but I think s/he's just mean for something to do

Thank you very much Raph. When I said 'be nice' I really meant 'don't rip my writing to pieces or I'll cry'


Cat- As far as what music it would go to I'd say at the start it would be something trippy-ish and then progress to whatever was being talked about in the piece e.g.- at the part where it says about drums there would be drums as described. etc.

You never know I might write some music it for sometime. Thanks for all the positive feedback guys, really appreciated